


Crankiplier Oneshots [REQUESTS TEMPORARILY CLOSED]

by gayraymen314 (orphan_account)



Category: CrankGameplays - Fandom, Crankiplier - Fandom, Unus Annus - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Amnesia, Amyplier, Anal Fingering, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Porn, Anxiety, Blow Jobs, Bottom Ethan Nestor, Bottom Mark Fischbach, Boys In Love, Broken Bones, Car Sex, Collars, Condoms, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Depression, Depressive Episode, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Erotic Electrostimulation, Established Relationship, F/M, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Frottage, Gay, Getting Together, Hair-pulling, Hand Jobs, Homophobia, Hook-Up, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Love, M/M, Makeup Sex, Men Crying, Multi, Multiple Orgasms, Netflix and Chill, One Shot Collection, Oral Sex, Out of Character, Overstimulation, Panic Attacks, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Polyamory, Porn, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Real lube, Requests, Safe Sane and Consensual, Secret Relationship, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sex in a Car, Shock Collars, Skateboarding, Smut, Tasers, Therapy, Top Ethan Nestor, Top Mark Fischbach, crankiplier - Freeform, getting caught, hypnotherapy, oneshots, safe sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:49:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 56,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22589686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/gayraymen314
Summary: Basically just a fic full of requests! Request (most) anything you want!However, due to a huge pileup of requests, I've closed submissions for now. Expect them to be opened back up by May 15th!NOTE: I don't ship these two in real life, and I absolutely adore their relationships with their respective girlfriends.
Relationships: Ethan Nestor/Other(s), Mark Fischbach/Amy Nelson, Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor, Mark Fischbach/Mika Midgett/Amy Nelson/Ethan Nestor, Mika Midgett/Ethan Nestor
Comments: 255
Kudos: 590





	1. Introduction

Ever wanted a Crankiplier fic that's oddly specific but you don't wanna write it yourself?  
Well, here's your chance!  
Due to the fact that I have no life and can never come up with any original ideas, I'm starting a oneshots book!  
You can request anything in the comments; some things I'm not comfortable with, but they're few and far between so I can't think of any right now.  
Any requests I get will be completed in 1-3 business days, so request away!

EDIT, 03-26-2020:   
Wow, 1-3 business days was wishful thinking. Good job, younger me, you severely overestimated your work ethic.  
I'm still taking requests, so fill those comments up! You're allowed to request multiple times, and it can be as detailed as you want. Some requests are a few lines, some fill up my entire computer screen, and both are completely good!  
Though I won't get your request to you in 1-3 business days, I have a one-month guarantee; your request will be finished no longer than a month after you requested it. The business days thing only counts for the posting side of it; I'm super busy on weekends, so I might finish your request then, but I'll never post on weekends. If I do, it'll be about an hour after midnight in my timezone, and it'll be because I'm fulfilling the one-month guarantee.  
I'm on the tail end of knocking out the first wave of requests, and now I've got at least half a dozen more, so be patient; first come, first served.  
And me saying you can request almost anything is vague, and I've stumbled across one thing I will **never,** **_ever_** write: Rape/non-con. Please don't even try to request it, because if you do, I won't be able to fulfill it.  
Once again, thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy!


	2. First Aid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by betawhitewolf: "Could you write a soulmate au where you start feeling your soulmates pain and emotions once you realize you're in love with them?"

Request: Could you write a soulmate au where you start feeling your soulmates pain and emotions once you realize you're in love with them?

Requested: 02-06-2020, 3:43 PM EST

Started: 02-06-2020, 4:00 PM EST

Finished: 02-06-2020, 5:18 PM EST

**Mark**

Another day, another bullshit activity I drag my friends along to do. Today I decided to try skateboarding, and as the wind whipped away anything I tried to ask Ethan, I was reminded of how bad of an idea this really was.  


"Should we try somewhere else?" Ethan yelled, trying to make his voice heard over the wind.  


"It's supposed to calm down in a couple minutes," I yelled back, dropping my skateboard on the ground after a particularly strong gust of wind. "We can wait in the van if you want?"  


Ethan shook his head, brushing his hair out of his eyes. He sat down on a nearby bench, clicking the buckle on his helmet that was probably meant for biking into place. I fought against the wind and sat down next to him, buckling my helmet made especially for skateboarding.  


I couldn't tell if the wind was quieting down, or if the sound was muffled because of the helmet, but it seemed like the wind was wooshing a little less. "Are you ready now?" I asked, and he nodded.  


"Dude, what if I bust my knee open or something?" He asked, still talking a bit louder than needed.  


"It'll be fine. We've got a first aid kit in the van just in case."  


He nodded stiffly, picking up his skateboard and carrying it over to the empty lot. I trailed after him, board in hand. "If you really don't wanna do this, you don't have to," I reminded him, and he sighed.  


"No, I want to... I'm just a little worried."  


"Understandable," I replied. "Want me to try first?" He nodded, and I gently placed my board on the concrete, putting a foot on. I pushed off carefully and almost fell over, adrenaline spiking in my heart. Glancing over at Ethan, I saw him wince, but once he saw I was looking he composed himself, forcing a laugh.  


"Lemme try, old man," he said jokingly, pushing off his board and rolling down the concrete. He lifted a foot and tried to stop, but he chickened out, reestablishing his balance. "Uh, a little help?" He called, and I laughed, jogging after him.  


"If you fall, I'll catch you," I yelled, and he nodded, finally putting a foot down to stop his board. He almost launched himself forward, but he just stumbled, and I laughed.  


"Shut up!" Ethan exclaimed. "I could've died!" That made me laugh even harder. "Mark," he whined, "c'mon, I-"  


A bark cut Ethan off, and both of our heads immediately swiveled to see a black dog running towards us, a young child racing after it. The dog got closer and closer, and I looked over at Ethan just as the dog tackled him. "Ow," he murmured, the dog licking him all over his face.  


"Lucy!" The kid exclaimed, grabbing the dog's leash and pulling her off of Ethan. "I'm so sorry about her, she never does that, and-" They cut themselves off, looking between Ethan and I. "What are two adults doing at a skate park in the middle of the day?" they asked.  


I laughed, looking down at Ethan. He was completely preoccupied with the dog, petting her on the back as Lucy happily wagged her tail. Even though he just got tackled into hard concrete, he seemed so happy to just be basking in the presence of a dog.  


God, I love him.  


Not even getting enough time to be surprised that my subconscious thought that, I was interrupted by a throbbing pain in my head and my elbow. "Fucking hell," I muttered, and the kid recoiled. "Oh, crap, sorry, I-"  


"Man, are you fresh outta jail or something?" The kid asked, pointing over their shoulder. "Cuz if you are, I gotta go."  


I rolled my eyes, gritting my teeth and trying to repress the pain. "No, I'm very sorry, it's just an old condition acting up. My friend and I are self-employed, and we're taking a day off to just hang out."  


"Ah," the kid muttered, pulling on their dog's leash. "Lucy, leave him alone." Lucy did the exact opposite of leaving him alone, rolling over onto her back. Ethan squealed, happiness rushing through me, and he rubbed the dog's belly. "Anyway, my name's Jasmine," they said, distracting me from Ethan being adorable and extending their hand.  


"I'm Mark," I said, shaking it. "My friend's name is Ethan."  


Jasmine looked down at their watch, muttering something under their breath. "Crap, I actually gotta go. Lucy, c'mon! Thanks for not getting mad at my dog for jumping on you!" And just as suddenly as they appeared, they were gone, running in the complete opposite direction.  


Ethan sat on the ground, looking betrayed. I chuckled, extending a hand to pull him to his feet. "Ready to try again?" I asked, his hand lingering in mine, and he nodded. "Me first?"  


"That's only fair," he replied after a moment, and I smiled slightly. Okay, so apparently Ethan's my soulmate. Which is absolutely fantastic, because he's straight. But I thought I was straight until five minutes ago...  


Shaking my head to try and dispell the worried thoughts, I put one foot on the skateboard and pushed off. "This is easier than I thought!" I announced, and Ethan laughed.  


Pride flowed through my veins, and I couldn't tell if it was mine or Ethan's; I'm rarely proud of myself, so probably-  


"Mark, hold on!" Ethan yelled, jolting me out of my train of thought. There was a seemingly harmless pebble in front of my wheel, and time seemed to happen in slow motion as the wheel jammed, the change in balance causing me to fall to my knees. I saw white as the skin tore open, and as soon as I regained my vision, Ethan was crouched beside me, cursing under his breath.  


"Are you okay?" He panted, and a flow of emotional pain ripped through me.  


"I'm fine," I gasped out, trying to move my legs. Ethan winced at the same time as me, and I looked up at him, surprised.  


"What?" He asked. I tried to move my left leg again, and his knee went out beneath him. He landed on his foot, sending a jolt of pain through mine.  


"Shit," he whimpered. Trying (and failing) to compose himself, Ethan asked, "Can I move your leg to see the damage?"  


"Am I your soulmate?" I asked, and Ethan winced.  


"C'mon, Mark, answer the question."  


"Answer mine first."  


"But I asked you first!"  


Huffing, I replied, "Fine. Yes, you can."  


Gently picking up my leg, Ethan turned it over, wincing in pain. "That's gotta hurt," he said, looking down at my knee. The skin was scraped open, pebbles and blood mixing in the new wound. Wincing, I looked up over to him, cocking my head to the side. "And, uh, I think so?"  


With a smile, I turned his face so that he was looking at me. I pulled him closer so that his lips were inches from mine, feeling his heartbeat internally and externally. I pecked him on the lips, and his embarrassment flowed through me, a wave of bliss following.  


"Now," I said, fighting the pain as I turned over my leg. "How about that first aid kit?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my best work (in my opinion), but I hope you still enjoyed!


	3. I'm Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by xsweetteaa: "I'd love some sweet sweet crankiplier fluff w/ cuddles 'n kisses after a stressful day. I'm just a sucker for everything fluff. <3"

Request: I'd love some sweet sweet crankiplier fluff w/ cuddles 'n kisses after a stressful day. I'm just a sucker for everything fluff. <3

Requested: 02-06-2020, 3:47 PM EST

Started: 02-06-2020, 5:30 PM EST

Finished: 02-06-2020. 8:35 PM EST

**Ethan**

I flopped down on my couch, wiping the tears that were beading in my eyes away and dampening the sleeve of my sweatshirt. Why did this have to happen to me? I'm not even that famous! Of all the people they could've stalked, they chose me? Why?  


The soft click of the side door's lock opening snapped me out of my thoughts. I jumped up off the couch, grabbing the baseball bat from beside the front door, creeping towards the other entrance.  


"Babe, I'm home!" Mark's voice exclaimed, and I let out a relieved sigh, propping the bat up against the chair. I walked over to the side door to greet him, my heart still racing. "Hey, Eth!" he said, setting down a bag on the kitchen counter. "I brought... wait, what's wrong?"  


I wiped at my eyes again, pasting a smile on my face. "Nothing's wrong!" I replied, faking enthusiasm.  


He stepped towards me, a worried look on his face. I flinched a bit, and his frown deepened. "What happened, baby?" He asked, and I looked down, tears reappearing in my eyes.  


"Mark, really, I'm fine," I whispered, a few tears escaping and dripping onto the kitchen floor.  


"Can I touch you?" He asked, and I nodded. Mark immediately engulfed me in a hug, and my tears dripped onto his shoulder.  


"God, I really don't know why I'm like this," I whispered, the words even quieter as I buried my face in Mark's sweatshirt. The familiar smell eased some of my tension, and I let out a relieved sigh.  


"Couch?"  


"Y-yeah."  


"Want me to carry you?"  


I moved my head from his shoulder, blushing. "Only if you want to."  


Mark smiled softly, sweeping me off my feet and carrying me back into the living room. "Baby, what happened?" Reflecting back on the memory, more tears gathered in my eyes. "You don't have to tell me if you're not comfortable," he murmured, setting me down gently on the couch and plopping down next to me.  


"N-no, I'm comfortable," I stuttered. "I just think I'll start crying again, and you're so nice, and I don't wanna ruin your perfect night."  


He pressed a soft kiss to my lips. "Baby, my night's perfect when I'm with you. No matter if you're happy or sad, nothing you could do could ruin my night."  


I chuckled softly, snuggling closer into his side. "Okay. Well, I was in the middle of recording a video when I heard a knock at the door. I paused the recording and opened the door, and it was this dude standing there, looking really nervous. He said he was a big fan, and he paid a lot of money to find my address, and he wanted to take a picture with me." I paused, taking a deep breath to steady myself. C'mon, Ethan, don't cry. "I said no, if you come to my house your picture privileges are void, and he got really upset, and he demanded to take a picture with me and I said no again, and then he started yelling at me.  


I took another shuddering breath, tears starting to fall. "He said he paid more than a thousand dollars to find my address, and I better take a picture with him or else, and I slammed the door in his face, and he wouldn't stop knocking, and the neighbors called the police, and I didn't even get to finish the video because I went around the whole house and made sure that no one could get in." My voice broke at the end and a small sob escaped my mouth.  


"Oh, baby," Mark murmured, pulling me closer. "I'm so sorry, Eth, it's okay, I'm here."  


I buried my face into Mark's shoulder, tears making the fabric of his sweatshirt wet. He hugged me tighter, running his fingers softly through my hair and murmuring reassurances every so often.  


"Anything I can do to make you more comfortable? A blanket, bringing the food over?"  


"Both sounds great," I murmured, and Mark smiled, letting me go.  


"I'll be back in two seconds, okay?" he asked, and I smiled softly.  


"I'm not made of glass, Mark," I muttered, and he chuckled.  


"You're allowed to be vulnerable, Eth. Makes ya feel better."  


"Then why aren't you ever vulnerable?" I asked as he walked into the kitchen.  


"It's my turn next time," he yelled back, walking back into the room with the bag of food in hand. He set it down on the coffee table, pulling a blanket down from the back of the couch and covering both of us up. "I got Wendy's, is that okay?"  


"Wendy's's great," I murmured, unwrapping the bag and smiling as the aroma of fries and chicken wafted into my face.  


We sat in comfortable silence, munching on fries and chicken nuggets. Mark occasionally made corny food jokes, and soon enough, my heart rate was normal and my eyes were as dry as they should be.  


"Wanna watch a movie?" he asked, and I smiled.  


"I should probably finish my video first," I murmured, pushing the blanket aside.  


"Okay," he replied. "Want me to stay the night?"  


"Always," I breathed, and he laughed softly, pressing a kiss to my forehead and standing.  


"I'll clean this up, catch a shower, and meet ya in bed?"  


I stood as well, bringing his lips to mine. My eyes started to go watery again. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me," I whispered against his lips, and he connected us for a moment more.  


"Love you, Eth," he murmured, softly smiling and pulling me into a hug.  


I chuckled, squeezing him back. "Love you more."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun writing this one. Sorry it's so short, but I feel like the ending's natural. It also might've been a bit angstier than you wanted, but I hope the tooth-rotting fluff makes up for it. Thanks for reading!


	4. Say No, Say Yes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by The_enigma_of_serendipity: Request: "Can you do One where teamiplier is just chilling or at a convention or something and somehow a super fan who really likes Ethan sees them and hits on Ethan and gets rejected cause he’s with mark; and then they’re like Into the whole 'If I can’t have him no one can' and slips him like peanut stuff or something; And then it gets super fluffy and sweet"

Request: "Can you do One where teamiplier is just chilling or at a convention or something and somehow a super fan who really likes Ethan sees them and hits on Ethan and gets rejected cause he’s with mark; and then they’re like Into the whole 'If I can’t have him no one can' and slips him like peanut stuff or something; And then it gets super fluffy and sweet" 

Requested: 02-06-2020, 4:54 PM EST 

Started: 02-07-2020, 4:30 PM EST 

Finished: 02-07-2020, 11:00 PM EST 

**Ethan**

"We haven't been able to hang out like this for forever," Tyler exclaimed, holding the door open for everyone. 

"And it'll probably be a long time before it happens again, so why did we pick Wendy's?" Kathryn complained, flopping down in a booth. 

"Cheer up!" I exclaimed, sliding into the booth next to her and prodding her playfully on the shoulder. "I know you don't like it, but at least we're all together again." 

"How's he such an optimist and you're such a masochist- wait, I mean pessimist," Amy said cheekily, and Mark turned to her. 

With a glare, he replied, "I'm neither of those things!" 

Everyone looked to me for confirmation. Mark gave me a look that said 'if you tell them you're paying for the food'. With a sheepish smile, I said, "Well, one of those is true." 

They all sighed, Amy throwing her hands in the air. "That gives us nothing!" 

"Hey!" 

We all laughed, and I looked over to Amy. "Wanna come with me to order?" 

She shrugged. "Sure. Y'all still have the same order?" 

All but Kathryn nodded. "Could I get a chocolate frosty?" she asked, and I nodded. 

"Sure, of course! Alright, be right back!" 

Amy and I walked up to the counter, standing in line behind other customers. "It feels like we haven't talked in forever," I remarked. "What's up with you?" 

"Not much," she murmured. "Work is good. Still single, since you stole my boyfriend." She looked over to me with a smile. "Just kidding. Yeah, it's pretty boring. What about you?" 

I shrugged. "Hit a million subs, but you already knew that. And speaking of stealing your boyfriend..." I reached into the pocket of my jeans and pulled out a velvet box. 

Her jaw dropped. "Wait, seriously?" 

I rolled my eyes. "No, I bought a fake ring." We both laughed, moving up in line. "Wanna see?" She nodded her head eagerly, and I popped open the box with a single thumb. 

She gasped. "Oh, Ethan, that's amazing!" I smiled, handing over the box. "It took a lot of extra videos and hard work to buy it, but I feel like it's worth it." The ring was a simple gold band with three diamonds embedded in it. Our anniversary was carved on the inside of the ring. "I'm planning on proposing the twenty-second." 

Amy's smile widened and her eyes sparkled as she clicked the box closed and handed it back. "He's gonna love it. I'm so happy for you, man." 

I laughed, slipping it back into my pocket. "He hasn't even said yes yet!" 

"He will, just you wait." 

We finally moved up to the counter. The cashier distractedly said, "Hi, welcome to Wendy's, may I take your order?" 

I looked at Amy, cocking my head to the side, and she waved her hand at the counter. "Hi, could I get two orders of chicken nuggets, two orders of fries, and three chocolate frosties?" 

He looked up after finishing punching in the order. As his eyes met mine, his jaw dropped. "You... wait... Ethan from CrankGameplays?" 

I rubbed my arms sheepishly. "Uh, yeah. Hi." 

"Dude, you're like- oh my god, um, okay," he muttered, half to himself. "I'm so sorry, ma'am, may I take your order?" 

Amy gave me a slightly weirded-out look before rattling off her and Tyler's orders. "Alright, thank you so much for choosing Wendy's!" I leaned against the counter, intent on waiting for our food. 

"Hey, Amy, can I talk to you?" Mark said, appearing out of nowhere. She nodded, and he winked at me, whisking her away to a different table. 

"S'that your girlfriend?" the cashier asked, and I recoiled slightly. 

"Uh, no," I murmured. "She's just a friend." 

"Cool," he replied, leaning against the counter. "My name's Ben, by the way." "Ethan, but you already knew that." 

He laughed like that was the funniest joke he'd ever heard. "Hey, I've gotta close anyway; would you maybe mind if I ate with you?" 

I blinked. "Um, excuse me?" 

Ben recoiled, starting to ramble. "I'm sorry, it's just you're like my idol, and you're really hot, and you're a lot hotter in real life, and-" 

"Dude," I said, holding my hands up in the air. "Believe me, the compliments are completely appreciated. But my boyfriend and I are just hanging out with some friends we haven't seen for a while, so..." 

Ben's eyes narrowed. "Oh, okay. Forget I asked, then." Pasting on an obviously fake smile, he disappeared into the kitchen. I could faintly hear him yelling, "I'll go ahead and finish up with this one, you can all go home." 

I leaned back against the counter with a sigh. That was... really weird. Sure, I've encountered fans in public before. A couple have even gone too far, trying to dig into my personal life. But I've never been hit on before. 

A small, nagging pull in the back of my mind warned me to be wary and stay vigilant. But I'm surrounded by four of the people I feel safest around... what's going on? My gut's never failed me before, and now my gut's telling me to get out of here. 

I guess that's what's so worrying. 

"Earth to Ethan," Mark said, waving a hand in front of my face. My eyes refocused, and I smiled slightly, instantly feeling safer. "You okay, blue boy?" 

I sighed. "It's really nothing, but I think that cashier just hit on me." 

Mark frowned. "I'd usually make a joke about beating him up or something, but Amy said he was acting really weird, too." 

"My gut's just telling me that something's terribly wrong here, and I don't know if I'm on edge from a long day, or if that guy's actually shady." I stopped my train of thought, watching a bunch of employees leave through the main entrance, chatting quietly amongst themselves. "He sent all these employees home after I told him I had a boyfriend, saying that he'll finish up. Is it paranoid of me to think he's poisoning the food?" 

"Well, John Lennon was killed because Chapman wanted attention," Mark said, and I snorted. 

"You and your history references." 

"You know you love them," he said, nudging my shoulder. 

Looking up at him, I smiled. "I love you." 

Mark smiled, kissing me for only a moment. "But no, I don't think you're being paranoid. You're famous now. Hit the big million. Tell ya what, I'll stay up here and pick up the food, maybe catch the dude's last name, and you go tell the others our theory." 

I nodded, leaning over to peck him on the cheek. "Good luck," I murmured, and he merely smiled. 

"We're both gonna need it." 

~-~-~-~-~-~ 

**Mark**

"Are you one hundred percent sure he poisoned you?" Tyler questioned, and Ethan shrugged, throwing his hands up in the air. 

"I dunno! Amy can attest, that dude was fuckin' creepy!" He exclaimed, looking over his shoulder to see the cashier glaring at him. Ethan visibly shuddered. 

I set the trays of food down on the table. "C'mon, Tyler, that dude really does seem a little... off. I heard him blending something, and I didn't know Wendy's even had a blender. Eth and I order the same things every time we come here, and they've never used a blender." 

"He could've been making something for himself! I'm just wondering why your mind immediately jumped to poisoning!" Tyler shot back, and Ethan winced. 

"Remember how you thought that cashier at Walmart was a creep, and he turned out to be a sex offender?" Kathryn retorted, crossing her arms. "Ethan's got a valid point. Poisoning may be a little drastic, but still." 

Ethan sighed, slumping down in the booth. I slid in next to him, and he immediately leaned his head on my shoulder. "Well, I brought the possibly poisoned food, so don't dig in quite yet. Ethan, if this dude is really a fan, he knows you've got a peanut allergy. A frosty's the easiest to hide stuff in, so..." I pulled one of the chocolate frosties off of the tray, along with a fry. I dipped the fry in (disregarding Amy's dismay), tasting both. 

It tasted... off. 

I tried just a fry by itself, and it tasted completely normal. After inspecting the rest of the container, I handed it to Ethan. "You've got your Epi-pen, right?" 

He nodded, tasting a fry warily. "Okay, maybe poisoning wasn't something I should've jumped to immediately," he said, shoveling more fries into his mouth. He reached for a frosty, but I batted his hand away. 

"No, there's definitely peanut in those." 

The friendly chatter between Kathryn, Amy, and Tyler stopped abruptly. "How can you be sure?" Amy asked tentatively, and I held out Ethan's uneaten frosty. 

"He's obviously not having that, so have as much as you want, you two," I muttered, handing Ethan the chicken nuggets after taste-testing one of my own and deeming them unpoisoned. 

As Ethan dug into his food, I watched Amy's reaction to the tainted ice cream. Her face scrunched up, and she passed it to Tyler, who still looked dubious. After spooning some into his mouth, Tyler looked at Ethan in alarm. "Can I have a fry?" He asked panickedly. I shrugged, handing him one of mine. He gulped it down quickly, turning to Ethan. 

"Okay, I was wrong, I'm sorry for ever doubting you," Tyler rambled. "Stop eating, stop eating, those fries were cooked in peanut oil." 

We all looked at him, surprised. "How can you even tell?" Kathryn asked. 

Tyler smirked, which seemed very inappropriate for the situation. "It's a gift, that's why I do so well in the Markiplier Makes. Anyways, that's not important. Ethan, do you feel anything?" 

I glanced over to Ethan, my eyes wandering down all his exposed skin. A red patch peaked out from under his shirt. "Now that you mention it, I feel a little dizzy," he admitted, his sentence trailing off to a squeal as I pulled his shirt down a bit. "Mark, what the hell?" 

"Shit, shit, shit," I muttered, my fingers trailing lightly over the exposed skin. Mixed in with the plethora of hickies was a hive. As my eyes raked up his neck, I found two more. 

"Yeah, you just ate peanuts," I whispered, sliding out of the booth and standing. "Okay, shit, we gotta get you an Epi-pen and to the hospital." 

With wide eyes, Ethan fumbled around in his pants pocket, patting himself down panickedly. "No, wait, where is it?" 

Ben suddenly appeared around the corner. "Everything alright, folks?" he asked. He must be a good actor; he sounded almost concerned. 

Almost. 

But the malicious gleam in his eyes gave him away immediately. 

I rolled my eyes, gently grabbing Ethan's arm and tugging him out of the booth. "No time for your bullshit, Mr. David," I muttered. "Amy, if you'd be so kind to call the police while I take my boyfriend to the hospital." 

"Already on it," Kathryn said, her phone already up to her ear. I shot her a thumbs up, and now it was Ethan's turn to pull me. We ran to the car, him slamming the passenger-seat door as I jammed my key into the ignition. 

I drove in tense silence, fingers clenching the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles were turning white. When I screeched to a halt at the red light, I looked over to Ethan. His face was cupped in my hands, and my heart broke. Why'd I have to tell him it was fine? Why am I so dumb? 

"I'm sorry," I murmured. "I never should've approved it with no idea what I was doing." 

"Don't apologize, Mark," he said, the words slightly muffled. When he lifted his head, I saw tears dripping down his face. 

The fact that his voice was so steady it seemed practiced broke me. 

"If I end up dead because of this, I don't want our last conversation to be sad." 

A few stray tears escaped down my cheeks. I gripped the steering wheel impossibly tighter. "You're not gonna-" 

"Baby, cut the bullshit," he said, his voice somehow caring. "Let's talk about happy things. Even if I don't die, this can be a better memory." 

"When, not if," I muttered, tears pooling on my jeans. 

"Mark?" he asked, not skipping a beat. 

"Yeah, baby?" 

Taking a shuddering breath, Ethan continued, "If I proposed, would you say yes?" 

As my heart tried to mend itself, I pressed the gas pedal the littlest bit harder, the hospital in sight. "Ask me after you get an Epi-pen, darling." 

~-~-~-~-~-~ 

**Ethan**

When I woke up, it was morning outside. The first thing I saw when I opened was Mark, slumped over in a chair. Asleep. The faint beep of the heart monitor kept me company as I looked around the room. 

Mark startled awake out of nowhere, his eyes meeting mine. He rubbed his eyes as a soft smile appeared on his face. "Don't wanna be cliche, but how long was I out?" I asked jokingly, and Mark chuckled slightly, tears already appearing in his eyes. 

"Damn, this is the worst time to say this, but I can't stop thinking it," he murmured, completely disregarding my question. He stood, walking over to my bedside and taking my hand in his. 

"I love you so goddamn much," he said, a slight blush rising to his cheeks. "You're gonna hate me for stealing the spotlight, but you stole my heart, so let's call it even." He knelt down next to my hospital bed, brushing a feather-light kiss to the back of my hand. "Ethan Mark Nestor, would you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?" 

I giggled, tears already appearing in my eyes. "You just had to do this when I looked terrible," I whined, a couple tears sliding down my face. My breath caught in my throat as he popped open a velvet box to reveal a beautiful ring. 

The ring was actually two bands; a gold one with blue diamonds, and a silver one with red diamonds, entwined together. "Mark," I whispered, turning to look at him. He looked so scared, and so hopeful, and so... 

He looked so much like the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. "Yes, please." 

Mark laughed, sliding the ring onto my finger. "Your ring's in my jeans pocket if you wanna see," I said weakly, trying to wipe away the tears falling from my eyes. As he popped open the similar-looking box, he gasped. 

"God, Ethan, I love it." With a smile, he slid it onto his finger, crossing the room quickly and capturing me in a kiss. 

"I love you," he murmured, and I saw Amy creeping into the room out of the corner of my eye. I silently held up my ring finger, fake flipping her off and showcasing my ring at the same time. 

"I told you he'd say yes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was super fun to write, so thanks for requesting it! Hope you enjoyed!


	5. Let's Get This Bread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by Rosemaryann: "A fic with an 'oh' realisation of I am in love with you. Like best friends that are clearly a couple to everyone but themselves and then something makes them look at it from a different perspective and realise oh I've been in love with you for a very long time and we are basically in a relationship. Also one of them desided that their friendship is stong enought to withhold even after the confession/discussion. Obviously happy ending with two idiots being happy together. Please take your time and thank you."

Request: "A fic with an 'oh' realisation of I am in love with you. Like best friends that are clearly a couple to everyone but themselves and then something makes them look at it from a different perspective and realise oh I've been in love with you for a very long time and we are basically in a relationship. Also one of them desided that their friendship is stong enought to withhold even after the confession/discussion. Obviously happy ending with two idiots being happy together. Please take your time and thank you." 

Requested: 02-06-2020, 5:30 PM EST 

Started: 02-08-2020, 6:55 PM EST 

Finished: 02-13-2020, 12:45 PM EST 

**Mark**

"We need bread," Ethan announced, walking from the kitchen into the living room. "Wanna stop by the store before we start recording?" 

"Do we need it for the video?" I asked, looking up at Ethan. "Has Kathryn told us what we're making yet?" 

Ethan rolled his eyes, flopping down on the couch next to me. "She told us like ten times, dummy," he said, nudging my shoulder with his. "We're making cookies and cheesecake." 

I groaned, hitting my head against the back of the couch. "Can't we just wait until after the video then?" 

"Why so lazy, Mark?" Ethan asked, looking me up and down. My pulse fluttered as he continued, "You're still in your pajamas. Tyler, Amy, and Kathryn are gonna be here in like fifteen minutes, ya know." 

I sighed. "I know. I'm just tired, man." 

Ethan smiled, scooting a bit closer to me. I laid my head on his shoulder. "If you need a couple more minutes to chill after you shower, I bet I can stall them," he murmured, and I nodded, smiling softly. "But you should probably get going, because you know Tyler. And Kathryn. And Amy." 

I chuckled slightly, dragging myself off the couch. Without a second thought, I leaned down, kissing Ethan on the forehead. "Thanks, Eth," I whispered, and he only nodded, blushing a bit. 

I jogged up the stairs two at a time, quickly going into the bathroom and stripping. Immediately after hopping into the shower, I turned it on, hissing slightly as the cold water pelted my body. I scrubbed my body, falling into the ritual and letting my mind wander. Why haven't we done a Markiplier Makes video in so long? And why don't I like Jessica all that much? 

We went on a date a few days ago, and it seemed like it went well, but she called me yesterday and said that we shouldn't see each other again. When I asked why, she said that I 'obviously had prior engagements', which makes no sense since I've been single for years. 

I sighed, raking my fingers through my hair, coating it with shampoo. It doesn't really matter. It's not like it was gonna go anywhere. But her mentioning my 'prior engagements' is driving me crazy. I don't have any prior engagements! Since Amy broke up with me three years ago, I haven't dated anyone else. 

I messaged her yesterday night, asking about what prior engagements she meant, but she hasn't responded yet. Oh well. 

As I stepped out of the shower, I realized that I forgot to bring clothes into the bathroom with me. I wrapped a towel loosely around my waist and opened the bathroom door, carefully going down the steps so I didn't slip. "Hey Ethan, did you do laundry?" I called, and Ethan poked his head around the corner, eyes widening when he saw I was wearing nothing but a towel. 

'They're here,' he mouthed, and a blush immediately rose to my cheeks. I darted into the laundry room, making sure that my towel was still securely around my waist. I pulled a pair of boxers, a pair of jeans, a pair of socks, and a hoodie out of the dryer. Quickly pulling on the clothes and dropping the towel in the corner, I finally stumbled out into the living room. 

Thankfully, Ethan kept them in the kitchen, probably helping them set up lights or something. I tried to walk towards the kitchen, but I ran into the side of the couch. 

Oh yeah. Glasses. 

Shifting in the hoodie, I made my way back to the steps and jogged back up, carefully moving around corners so I didn't fall. With my glasses finally on my face, I made my way back downstairs, bouncing into the kitchen. "'Sup!" 

Tyler gave me a weird look. "Dude, when's the wedding already?" 

I looked at Ethan, but he seemed just as confused as I was. "Huh?" I asked, walking over to Amy to help her set up a light. She stifled a giggle, and Ethan looked me up and down, his confused eyes meeting mine after a moment. 

"Seriously?" Kathryn asked, screwing a mic into place. "How can you not tell?" 

"What's there to tell?" Ethan asked frustratedly. "There's literally nothing out of the ordinary!" That sent Amy over the edge. She let go of the light, falling backward with how hard she was laughing. 

Ethan and I both looked to Tyler, who was chuckling slightly. "Great to see that you're used to Mark wearing your clothes, Ethan," he said, and Amy started laughing even harder. 

"Wait, this isn't mine?" I asked. How did I grab Ethan's sweatshirt? He's like two sizes smaller than me! 

"Well, I get oversized sweatshirts a lot, so that's probably how it fits," Ethan replied, almost reading my mind. "I don't really care." 

I shrugged. "It's comfortable, so I don't care either." 

Amy let out a sigh, wiping the tears from the corners of her eyes, and stood. "Sorry to leave you hanging with the mic, Mark," she said, "but that's completely not your style. How'd you even pick that sweatshirt and put it on when you don't own anything close to looking like that?" 

Defensively putting my hands out, I exclaimed, "I dunno! I just grabbed the first one I saw out of the dryer and put it on!" 

Tyler chuckled, setting the last ingredient out on the counter. "Okay. Domestic bliss aside, I think we're ready to start filming. Cheesecake then cookies?" 

"Sounds good to me," Kathryn replied, and Ethan hummed his agreement. 

"Alright!" I said, clapping my hands together and instinctively running a hand through my hair. "Are we rolling?" As Amy nodded, I continued, "Alright! Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier, and welcome back to another episode of Markiplier Makes." 

~-~-~-~-~-~ 

I sighed, flopping down onto the couch with a plate of cookies in hand. "That took entirely way too long," I muttered, grabbing a cookie and tasting it. "Not bad, Ethan." 

"Thanks," he replied, sitting down next to me with a slice of cheesecake. 

"Seriously though," Tyler said, leaning against the wall, "you two do know you act like a couple, right?" 

Ethan and I rolled our eyes in sync. "We're two best friends that function well with each other," Ethan said pointedly, stabbing his cheesecake and taking a bite, practically moaning with how good it was. "That doesn't mean we act like a couple." 

"Bullshit!" Kathryn exclaimed. "Sure, you're a high functioning couple'a best friends, but you don't give your 'best friends' forehead kisses for no reason. You don't wear your 'best friend's' hoodie without anything underneath. And you certainly don't sleep in the same bed as your 'best friend' because you're nervous or just touch starved!" Every time she said 'best friend', she put air quotes around it. 

Ethan looked at me inquisitively. 'What the fuck?' he mouthed, and I ignored it. "Guys, we're literally not dating. I went on a date three days ago and it went well, and Ethan knew about it!" 

Everyone looked to Ethan, who was looking at me, looking more confused than ever. "I thought you said she left you on read?" 

I rolled my eyes. "That's not really the point, I-" 

"No, wait, hold on," Amy said, leaning forward in her chair. "Why'd she leave you on read? I thought you said the date went well?" 

I pinched the bridge of my nose, sighing. "The date itself went well. At the end, I asked her if she wanted to go out again, and she seemed, like, excited to go out again. I texted her a few days ago and she left me on read, and I asked what's up, and she said I had prior engagements. Obviously I don't have prior engagements, so I asked her what she meant, and she hasn't even opened it yet." 

Kathryn threw her hands up in the air. "Prior engagements? She probably thinks you and Ethan are dating!" 

I rolled my eyes, reclining back on the couch. "But seriously, we're not actually dating." 

"We know," Tyler murmured. "But if your feelings ever change, you two would be a really cute couple." 

Ethan chuckled slightly, standing up and pushing Tyler's shoulder. "Get outta our house." 

Amy and Kathryn both laughed, and after a whirlwind of goodbyes, Ethan and I were finally alone. "Are you sure you don't mind me wearing your hoodie?" I asked, and Ethan nodded. 

"Why would I care?" 

"I dunno, just wanted to make sure. Wanna go get bread?" 

"I guess we need to," Ethan sighed, getting back up on the couch and grabbing his jacket. "C'mon, Markimoo, let's go to the store." 

~-~-~-~-~-~ 

Ethan and I walked through the sliding glass doors, cart in tow. "I thought you said we only needed bread, why'd you grab a cart?" 

He smiled, purposely making the wheels of the cart squeak. "Have you ever met me? Or yourself? We're gonna end up with more than just bread, Markimoo." I chuckled, nudging him on the shoulder. 

"Hey, shut up." 

We both chuckled slightly, pushing the cart forward. We roamed the aisles in comfortable silence, each of us holding up random items and making up uses for them. Ethan grabbed a jar of pickles off the shelf, and I cringed. "Ethan," I said warningly, and he merely smirked. 

"Deepthroating contest," Ethan replied mischievously, and I burst out laughing, leaning on him as he chuckled, obviously proud of his joke. 

Just then a woman that looked to be about forty walked by, holding the hand of her disgruntled teenage son. She rolled her eyes as she watched us messing around, pulling her son along quicker. "Come on, Johnny," she whispered. 

My laughter trailed off as the son pulled back. "We need pickles, though," he whined. 

The woman hissed in response, "These sinning homosexuals put their hands all over them, we'll get them next time." 

Both Ethan and my jaws dropped, and so did her son's. He looked at us with mock disdain, winking. "How dare these sinful homos infect my young eyes," he said, obviously holding back laughter. 

I found this situation the opposite of funny. She... we're not even dating! I looked at Ethan, his jaw still hanging open. I cocked my head to the side, smiling slightly. He scrunched up his nose, and I sighed, placing a hand on the back of his head and pulling his lips to mine. 

Oh. My. God. 

Sparks flew, and I was immediately addicted to the feeling of his lips against mine. I pulled away after a moment, trying to judge his reaction, but he immediately looked at the woman. She was gagging, trying to pull her son away, but he smiled widely, throwing his fist up into the air. "Hell yeah! Love is love!" After his exclamation, he let his mom pull him away; she was talking back to him angrily, her voice fading out as they traveled down the aisle. 

Ethan glanced over to me. "Fuck getting bread, we need to talk," he breathed, and I nodded, following him out of the store, cart abandoned in the aisle. 

He ripped open the car door, flopping down into the passenger seat. "What the fuck was that?!" He asked before I could even get the door shut. 

"Do you really wanna let a homophobe out in the world without being taught a lesson?" I protested, and he shook his head violently, putting a finger against my lips. My entire body was still tingling from the kiss. That's not normal, is it? 

Hold on. 

"Mark, that was NOT okay," he whimpered, but his words were only background noise. I used to feel like this when I kissed Amy. 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry." 

Ethan huffed. "Mark, you don't sound sorry!" 

"Hold on a second, Ethan." I fell deeper into my thoughts. 

If I loved Amy and felt like that when Amy and I kissed, then that means that I must love Ethan. That'd make sense, right? 

Even though it logically made sense, it felt like my entire world was collapsing. Of COURSE I'm in love with Ethan. 

How long HAVE I been in love with Ethan? 

Memories flashed through my vision. A Heist with Markiplier. Playing Mario Kart. The tour. A Date with Markiplier. The day that he did a backflip, just to impress me. Every single time, fondness tingled throughout my chest when I looked at him. 

Fuck. 

"Can I try something, Ethan?" I asked, and he cocked his head to the side, eyebrows furrowed. 

"Not if you're gonna kiss me again." 

"Never mind, then." 

He forced a laugh, trailing off as my words actually sunk in. "Wait, what?" 

I took a deep breath, my hands starting to shake against my legs. "You heard me." 

Ethan looked at me silently for a second, recognition flashing in his eyes. He seemed to fall into a daze, his eyes scanning back and forth like he was speed-reading a book. "Holy fucking shit," he muttered. "I think I'm in love with you." 

"M-me too." My voice shook. 

He put his hand on my cheek, turning my head so that I was looking at him. "Well, that makes sense," he said, smiling softly. 

I rolled my eyes. "Kiss me, you idiot." 

And he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW that took a long time. Sorry for everyone who's been waiting for their request to be written, university's really hitting hard this week. Hope you enjoyed, and see ya again soon!


	6. Shut Up*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains smut! Read at your own risk!  
> Requested by 21HoneyBees: "Ok so maybe in the beginning Ethan and mark are just friends that haven’t noticed their slight attraction to each other and maybe Ethan has like a hair pulling kink? And he tries hard to hide it but mark accidentally figures it out (maybe something gets stuck in his hair and when he goes to pull it out he moans or shivers) so mark kinda figures it out but isn’t sure yet so he keeps teasing him by subtly running his fingers through his hair a lot or making excuses to touch his hair. And then it leads to other stuff.. if you know what I mean.."

Request: "Ok so maybe in the beginning Ethan and mark are just friends that haven’t noticed their slight attraction to each other and maybe Ethan has like a hair pulling kink? And he tries hard to hide it but mark accidentally figures it out (maybe something gets stuck in his hair and when he goes to pull it out he moans or shivers) so mark kinda figures it out but isn’t sure yet so he keeps teasing him by subtly running his fingers through his hair a lot or making excuses to touch his hair. And then it leads to other stuff.. if you know what I mean.." 

Requested: 02-06-2020, 6:55 PM 

Started: 02-13-2020, 1:35 PM 

Finished: 02-17-2020, 11:35 PM 

**Mark**

"Hello, my name is Markiplier," I said, looking into the camera, "and welcome to another episode of Markiplier Makes. I'm joined here today by Wingus and Dingus..." 

I trailed off the end of my sentence, looking off-camera to where Ethan and Tyler were standing. I impatiently waved my hand to get them to come over to the table, and Ethan giggled, flouncing over. "Okay, wanna explain what we're doing today, Wingus?" 

Tyler leaned forward on his palms, resting most of his weight on the table. "Today we're putting extensions in our hair and letting each other do them. Whoever's is the best wins, and whoever's is the worst looses." 

Ethan gulped, and I looked over at him, slightly concerned. "You okay, Eth?" I asked, keeping my voice low so that the mics didn't pick it up. He only nodded, looking straight ahead. I brushed off his weird behavior, reaching towards the packages to hold them up. "Okay, we've got blue, red, and green hair, and then a whole bunch of other stuff that I had Amy buy. Each of us'll have three minutes to attach and style the hair. We'll be judged on neatness, appearance and... something else that Amy or Kathryn'll come up with later." 

"We already decided it, Mark," Kathryn exclaimed. "We've been over this like twenty times. Neatness, appearance, and personal style preference." 

"Aren't those pretty much the same thing?" Ethan asked, his voice wavering a bit. I looked over to him, concerned, but he just shook his head. 

"Shush. A little, but it's too late now." 

I clapped my hands together, and Ethan jumped a little. Geez, what's wrong with him today? Ignoring his weirdness, I gestured over the three packages of hair extensions. "Which color do you guys want?" 

"I'll take red," Tyler said, grabbing the package off of the table and reading the back. 

"Ethan?" I asked, leaning over to look into his glassy eyes. "Are you sure you're okay?" 

He blinked quickly, slipping into a smile that was so obviously fake. "Yeah, sure. I'll take green." 

I handed him the package, narrowing my eyes suspiciously. Why was he acting so weird all of a sudden? Before the cameras turned on, he was completely fine. 

Then again, he didn't know what we were doing. 

I pushed the thought aside. Ethan's an adult; he can tell us if he feels uncomfortable. "Rock paper scissors to see who goes first?" 

"You already know," Tyler replied, and I smiled, glancing over to Ethan. He still looked a little nervous, but I brushed it off. He can tell us if he feels uncomfortable. 

The three of us put our hands into position, Ethan ending up with rock; Tyler and I ended with paper. "So, does that mean Ethan goes first?" 

"How about that means Ethan gets his hair styled last?" Ethan suggested, and I chuckled slightly. His voice lowered a bit as he continued, "and before you ask, Mark, I'm still fine." 

I smiled awkwardly at him before turning to Tyler. "Wanna just go down the line?" 

He nodded, a bit of concern evident in his eyes. So it's not just me that thinks Ethan's acting weird. I clapped my hands together again, turning back towards the camera. "Alright, since Ethan can't reach the top of your head, we're gonna have you sit down, Tyler." All of us laughed, Tyler pulling a chair over to the table and folding his hands neatly on his lap. 

"Do your worst," Tyler said after a moment. Ethan walked over, the basket of scrunchies and other stuff in hand. 

Ethan's time went quickly, and by the time the timer rang, Tyler had red hair with a nice braid in the back. "That's actually pretty good," I said after a moment, and Ethan blushed a bit. 

"It's okay. Probably would've been better if I wasn't panicking over how long I had left on the clock." 

I chuckled slightly, moving to push Tyler out of the chair. "My turn!" I exclaimed, and Tyler laughed. Ethan handed him the basket of hair supplies, leaning against the wall wordlessly. His fingers knitted together tightly, almost like he was scared. What could possibly be scary about me getting hair extensions? 

"Three, two, one," Kathryn said, clicking the start button on the timer. Tyler quickly started to attach the extensions to my short hair, and I had to rip my gaze from Ethan so that I wasn't staring at him the entire time. 

Tyler and I bantered, Ethan throwing in the occasional joke, but it was interrupted by Amy saying, "You've got one minute left." 

"Shit," Tyler cursed, trying to finish up the hairstyle but pulling my hair instead. 

"Ow!" I exclaimed, and Tyler muttered an apology. Ethan was pushing his fingernails into his fists so hard that he might start bleeding. 

The alarm blared, and Tyler stepped back, holding his hands up in the air. I stood, flipping my new hair. "How do I look, Ethan?" I asked teasingly. 

He visibly gulped before shooting back, "Like a stripper." 

Amy, Kathryn and I started to laugh as Tyler protested. "I think it looks good!" he exclaimed, and Amy just laughed harder. 

Kathryn tutted. "Looks like someone's losing, Tyler. Anyway, it's Ethan's turn now." 

I stood up out of the chair, bowing as Ethan walked over. He forced a laugh, sitting stiffly in the chair. "Are you sure you're comfortable with this?" I whispered, masking the fact I was talking by gathering up the remaining hair supplies. "You've been tense ever since you found out what we were doing." 

Ethan only nodded, visibly gulping. "Do your worst, Markimoo," he said, his voice cracking a bit on the last syllable. 

As Kathryn cued me, I started to clip the green extensions into his hair. He sat their silently. Alright, I've had enough of this. Screw the respectful 'he can tell us if he feels uncomfortable', because he's obviously not going to. I'm figuring out what has him so riled up if it's the last thing I do. 

After a few moments, all the extensions were in place, and I gently brushed through Ethan's hair. "An icon already," I said, trying to keep the mood light for the video. There's no way the fans wouldn't notice, but maybe we could just chalk it up to nerves about the time constraint. 

Ethan shivered as I hit a particularly knotted part of the extensions. "I've always b-been an icon," he shot back, picking up on my fruitless efforts. "Dude, you're being really rough." 

I rolled my eyes. "C'mon, I've barely even started!" 

We continued in silence, my hand keeping up the brushing motion as my mind wandered. Why shiver, out of all things? If Tyler would've pulled my hair, I would've flinched or recoiled, but shivering? Something's going on here that's definitely off, and I intend on figuring out what it is. 

I put the brush down on the table, pulling out a hair tie and slipping it onto my waist. "How does a bun sound?" I asked, starting to gather the bright green hair before he could even respond. 

"Why're you asking me?" he asked, and I dropped the hair, smiling evilly at the camera. 

"I hope this works because I probably don't have that much time left," I murmured, gathering a small strand of hair and starting a tight braid. 

"You've got a minute," Amy said after a moment, and I began braiding faster, letting the end fall as I gathered all the hair (braid and all) into a bun. 

"This was a bad idea, I have no idea how to make a bun." Ethan chuckled slightly, and I decided to go with my gut, pulling the hair through the band and starting to pull it through again. 

After a particularly hard yank, Ethan whimpered, "Mark." I briefly stopped what I was doing. "Ow, dude, that one hurt." 

Is he... getting turned on? 'Cuz that certainly wasn't a whimper of pain. 

I pushed the question aside, desperate to win the challenge. Only moments after I finished the loose bun, Kathryn announced, "Time's up!" 

Admiring my handiwork, Tyler whistled. "That's not that bad, Mark," he said after a moment. "Ethan actually looks pretty good with green hair." 

Ethan blushed, sputtering out, "Uh, I always look good!" 

"Alright, stand up, we've got some judging to do." Kathryn beckoned us all over, and we stood in a line, Ethan in the middle. She had each of us do a spin around, then after a small chat with Amy... "Mark's styling wins, with Ethan's in a close second." 

I pumped my fist in the air, smiling at Ethan. "Heck yeah!" 

But my mind was far away from victory. What's up with Ethan? 

~-~-~-~-~-~ 

I'm 99% sure Ethan has a hair-pulling kink. And I have a master plan to get him to admit it. 

Before I could go any further in my investigation, I had to figure out something; did I like Ethan? Sure, I found him attractive, and the noise he made when I pulled his hair replayed every time I got horny, but that doesn't mean I like him, right? 

After some deep soul-searching (and Google-searching) I figured out that that DOES mean I like him. Sorta disturbing to find out you like your best friend after pulling his hair, but such is life. 

Back to my master plan; I'm inviting Ethan over tonight to watch a movie. In some way, I get him to lay his head on me. I'll 'absentmindedly' run my fingers through his hair, and anytime something scary happens in the movie, I'll 'accidentally' pull it. 

Is it a violation of his trust and/or privacy? Probably. But we've done so much shit together; he's put a SHOCK COLLAR on me, for goodness sake. I think it'll be fine. 

And if he ends up liking me too, that's a bonus. 

A knock on my front door snapped me out of my daze. I stood up off the couch, stretching my arms above my head as I walked to the door. I opened the door with a smile, Ethan standing right outside. "'Sup, Eth?" I asked, moving out of the way. "Come on in!" 

He smiled slightly, kicking off his shoes. "Dude, I'm super excited to see this movie," he said, following me as I walked into the living room. "I heard that it's really good." 

I nodded, sitting down on the couch next to him and snatching up the remote. "Me too. Amy said there's a few 'scary' parts, but it'll probably be fine." 

"Yeah." Ethan started pulling a blanket over his torso, and I grabbed at the edge, stealing half of it. "Hey!" 

I giggled slightly, tucking the blanket into the crease of the couch. "It's cold, man. You can't just steal my favorite blanket and not share!" 

His laugh sent happiness blossoming through my chest. "Can we make popcorn before we start it?" he asked, uncovering himself with the blanket. I did the same, sliding out from underneath and standing in front of the couch. 

"Yeah, sure. I've got hot chocolate, too, if you want some." 

He rolled his eyes, a smile still on his face. "Obviously." 

A few minutes later, I slipped back under the blanket, a mug in my hand and a bowl of popcorn nestled in between us. "You ready?" 

"Heck yeah," he replied, taking a sip of the hot chocolate. The added whipped cream left residue on his upper lip, and I had to resist the urge to wipe it off. Instead, I clicked onto the newly-downloaded movie, it starting automatically. 

I barely paid attention. It was a fairly average plot, except gayer (a step up from what it could've been, in my opinion); the main characters, Jack and Finley, met through a mutual friend who's not really important after the first ten minutes. By the time Finley and Jack had their first kiss, all of the popcorn was gone, the empty bowl resting on the coffee table in front of us. 

How am I gonna progress my plan? As I racked my brain for ideas, I decided on the most stereotypical one. I fake yawned, putting my arm around Ethan's shoulder. 

He giggled. "If you wanted to cuddle, you could've just asked," he murmured, leaning his head on my chest. Can he feel my heartbeat? 

"I'm touch starved and nervous, shut up," I muttered in response. He laughed into my chest, and my heart picked up speed. Definitely not suspicious. "This movie isn't even scary yet." 

"Mark, we're only half an hour in." 

I smiled, starting to gently comb my fingers through his hair, making sure that I didn't pull at all. Yet. Ethan froze up for a moment, but as I continued the soothing action, he started to relax into my chest, his body melting against mine. 

It's probably one of the most adorable things I've ever seen him do. 

The movie continued, and I started to pay it a little more attention. The plot seemed to be redeeming itself as the side character (who's name is Esmae, apparently) takes them out for a night on the town. Here's probably where it's gonna start getting scarier. 

Of course, I was right. As the trio was walking past a shady alley, someone jumped out at them, grabbing Jack by the wrist and pulling him away. My fingers stilled in Ethan's hair, starting to grip a little. He whimpered, but that's the flaw in my plan; how can I tell if he's whimpering in fear or whimpering in... something else? 

The screen went dark, sounds of a van driving away sounding from the speakers. As Esmae and Finley chased after the van, Esmae suddenly disappeared, another van driving a different direction. 

Ethan squirmed a bit, my hand still firmly grabbing his hair. A hitched breath escaped from his mouth, and I gently asked, "You okay, Eth?" 

"Y-yeah," he stuttered, stilling his head. One of his hands gripped at my sleeve, the other at the blanket. 

As Finley collapsed on the sidewalk, I kept my attention on Ethan. His breathing picked up in speed, and even in the dim light, I could tell he was blushing. I resisted the urge to ask him if he was okay, instead choosing to shift and tugging at his hair a bit. "M-Mark," he murmured, pressing his back up against me. 

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked, and Ethan tried to nod his head, only pulling his hair more in the process. A soft moan fell out of his mouth. 

"I... have to go to the bathroom," he blurted quietly, and I released my grip on his hair, petting his head softly. 

"Ethan," I said cautiously, "do you really have to, or are you trying to get out of this situation?" 

He squirmed a bit before replying, "The second one." 

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." 

He shook his head, laughing slightly. "I'm not uncomfortable, I'm just..." He stood, gesturing towards his crotch. "Y'know." 

I smiled softly. "Want me to help you out?" 

Ethan blinked, cocking his head to the side. "Uh... what?" 

"You heard me." 

"Are you- are you sure?" 

I only nodded, and Ethan smiled gently, leaning down to capture me in a quick kiss. "I've liked you for years," he murmured, moving down to kiss my neck. I let my head fall back against the back of the couch, unable to speak as he gently bit along my collarbone. 

"Ah, Ethan," I whimpered as he bit particularly hard. 

He pulled away, a smile playing across his lips. "What happened to 'I'm not a masochist'?" 

I chuckled breathlessly. How am I already so affected? All he's done is kiss me. "Shut up, don't stop." 

Giggling slightly, he cupped my jaw and brought his lips to mine, movie forgotten in the background. The kiss became more passionate instantly, his tongue slipping into my mouth and quieting any sounds I might've made. My fingers slipped into his hair and pulled, hard. He gasped against my mouth, and I smirked, pulling him down so that he was sitting in my lap. 

He pulled away, a silly smile on his face. "May I?" he asked, placing his hands on the band of my sweatpants. I nodded, and he pulled both my sweatpants and my boxers down in one motion. My face suddenly flooded red as my cock was exposed to the cold air. 

Ethan smiled softly as he stared deeply into my eyes. "You okay?" 

I took a deep breath, returning the smile. "This doesn't happen in real life. I've got to be dreaming because this is the kind of thing that only happens in movies or something." 

He giggled, leaning up to kiss me again. "This is real," he assured me, unbuttoning his jeans and sliding them down, hesitating before getting rid of his boxers too. "If it's okay that it's real." 

We both laughed at his poor choice of wording, before he asked, "How do you wanna do this?" 

I wordlessly pulled him into a kiss, one hand cupping his face and the other reaching down to his dick. He gasped against my mouth as I stroked his length, and I smirked, moving my head down to suck a hickie onto his neck. 

"Fuck, Mark," he gasped, his hands struggling for purchase. They finally ended up balling up my sweatshirt, and my hand snaked to tug gently at his hair. "I'm n-not gonna last long, ah-" 

I cut off his sentence by bringing him into a kiss again. He finished with a gasp, cum spurting out onto my sweatshirt. As he gasped, trying to catch his breath, I pouted, "I just got this, y'know." 

"Shut up," he breathed, and I laughed. 

"You came all over me." With a dramatic sigh, I pulled the sweatshirt over my head and tossed it into the corner, leaving me completely naked 

"Shut up," he replied, a blush coming over his face. "Round two in the shower?" 

I smiled slightly, offering him my clean hand as I stood. "You read my mind."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, that took a long time! I'm really sorry these are taking so long. This is my second time writing smut, and I'm really nervous, so make sure to leave any suggestions or tips in the comments! Hope you enjoyed!


	7. For Research Purposes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by AmayaTheDog: "I'd love a story based on one of their many unus annus crankiplier moments, maybe the most recent sour video where they pretend kiss? :D"

Request: "I'd love a story based on one of their many unus annus crankiplier moments, maybe the most recent sour video where they pretend kiss? :D" 

Requested: 02-06-2020, 8:23 PM EST 

Started: 02-19-2020, 6:00 PM EST 

Finished: 02-20-2020, 9:00 PM EST 

**Ethan**

"We need to have some kind of an outro, to match what we were doing before..." Mark mused, and I looked at him, a mischievous smile on my lips. 

"My offer still stands," I replied, and he merely laughed. 

"Let's pretend, because as curious as I am, I'm not gonna kiss you on camera." The implication of his words made my heart beat faster. 

I teasingly smiled, willing my heart rate to slow down. "You implying that you're gonna kiss me off-camera, Markimoo?" I asked softly, and he chuckled, gently shoving my shoulder. 

"If we hurry up and do the bit, maybe you'll see," he said flirtatiously, and Amy laughed from behind the camera. I rolled my eyes, pretending to be grossed out as Mark's open mouth got closer and closer to mine. 

And as soon as he started moving towards me, he was moving away, a cocky smile on his lips. 

As he did the outro, I was in a daze, barely contributing. Amy clicked the camera off, excusing herself with a smirk. Mark looked over to me with a small smile. "Are you okay, Eth?" 

His voice was gentle, caring. I knew if I asked, he wouldn't deny me. "Can we... actually kiss? For research purposes?" 

My face flooded red as soon as the sentence was out of my mouth, and he chuckled softly, bringing a hand up to cup my face. "Why so nervous?" he asked, rubbing gentle circles into my jaw. I bet he could feel it when I swallowed anxiously. 

"Don' wanna break things," I replied, bringing my eyes up to meet his. 

He scoffed, rolling his eyes. "I don't wanna invalidate your feelings here, but it's for research. I'm just as curious as you are, Eth, and things with Amy are still sour." 

Even though my heart felt like it was bleeding, I had to chuckle at the pun. "Alright. Let's go." 

Mark's grip tightened slightly on my jaw, but every movement he made was exaggerated and slowed in my mind. My eyes drifted shut as Mark finally leaned forward, his stubble scraping my cheek as his lips connected with mine. 

Hell yeah. 

Somehow, I was able to keep my goal in mind as happiness rushed through me. Slinging an arm around his neck to change the angle slightly, I let my mouth slip open. With a probably-imagined eagerness, Mark slipped his tongue into my mouth, and I immediately winced, pulling away. A small string of saliva hung between our lips, and I swiped it away as Mark gagged. "That was absolutely disgusting," he said, coughing slightly. "It's like eating a spoonful of honey, garnished with a cup of sugar." 

I nodded, spacing out slightly. Too lost in my thoughtless bliss, I didn't notice Mark standing up and walking into the kitchen. Jeez. I just kissed Mark. 

And it was really gross. 

Mark nudged my hand with a glass of water, and I slowly slipped out of my daze, a smile still left on my face. He was smiling slightly too as he said, "Wash that down, I'm curious about something else now." 

I merely nodded, quickly downing half the glass. The taste of the mberry slipping away and down my throat was odd, but not bad. We're definitely gonna have to try these again. 

A second after swallowing his gulp of water, Mark asked, "Can I kiss you?" I almost spilled my remaining water as I flinched back. "I'm sorry, that's a really stupid question, I'm just really curious because even though it was gross I really liked it and-" 

I rolled my eyes as he went on and on, gently grasping his jaw in my hands and pulling his wettened lips towards mine. They moved together harmoniously, like a beautiful duet that you can't stop replaying. His tongue slipped into my mouth and I let it, slightly relieved at the normal taste. I could still taste the hint of cake, and I wanted to devour him. 

He pushed me away with a gasp, panting slightly. My heart sank as I realized that this was probably just for research, my subconscious self-loathing making me forget about his rant before I shut him up with a kiss. 

"Jesus, Ethan," he panted. "If I don't stop now, we'll never be able to record again." 

I smirked slightly, quickly putting on a front. "Ha ha, funny joke." 

His lingering smile fell off his face. "Wait, what?" 

"Like YOU wanna kiss ME." 

He raised an eyebrow at that. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked incredulously, tilting his head slightly. After a moment, Mark's eyes widened in understanding. "Ethan, no! You gotta stop putting yourself down!" 

I rolled my eyes, trying to take his words at face value. "Are you sure that you mean that?" 

"One hundred percent." 

I smirked. "Well, there's no way you could possibly like scum like me." 

Mark rolled his eyes, huffing out a breath. "Ethan, shut the hell up." 

"Make me." 

Only a second after I finished speaking, Mark's lips crashed against mine, his hand grabbing the back of my shirt. He pulled away after a moment, breathing "gladly," before he dove right back in. 

Maybe I could get used to being nicer to myself. Or maybe I could just get Mark to shut me up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like it's too short and inconsistent, but I still like how it turned out. Is it actually good, and my brain won't let me like my own stuff? Or are my standards very low? I guess we'll never know. Hope you enjoy, regardless.


	8. [Lucky] I Love You*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by zesty (zestyeli): "oh! very cute (maybe a fic where mark gets Lovingly Topped by ethan?)"  
> WARNING: This chapter contains smut! Read at your own risk!

Request: "oh! very cute (maybe a fic where mark gets Lovingly Topped by ethan?)" 

Requested: 02-07-2020, 10:57 AM EST 

Started: 02-22-2020, 7:30 PM EST 

Finished: 02-23-2020, 5:15 AM EST 

**Mark**

Ethan smirked as I panted, collapsing onto the floor next to the treadmill. Sweat rolled off my brow in rivers. As he finished setting up a light fixture for the collab we were gonna film, Ethan murmured, "You okay, Mark? You seem pretty... sweaty." 

Through breaths, I asked, "You got a problem with a hard-working man, babe? You mad that I'm stronger than you?" 

Ethan rolled his eyes. "That's what you think," he muttered, and I gasped slightly. And not because I was still short of breath. 

"Hey!" I exclaimed, pushing myself up into a sitting position. "I'm obviously the strong one here. I've beat you at all the competitions, AND I'm taller than you!" 

"You're adorable," Ethan said, huffing hair out of his face. "Taller doesn't always mean stronger. And I'm stronger in the way that counts. Besides, you were barely running for five minutes." 

I arched an eyebrow, pushing myself to my feet and standing. "Shut up, it's like eight. And which way counts, other than physical?" 

Ethan only smirked. He walked towards me a bit more and I stumbled backward, closer to the wall. After mere moments my back hit the wall, and I swallowed nervously as Ethan's arms bracketed me, trapping me against the wall. "I have stronger top energy," he purred, leaning close enough that I could feel his breath, feathery against my neck. The mood quickly shifted from innocent banter to sexual tension thicker than- yeah, finishing that joke probably isn't a good idea. 

"S-shut up," I muttered again, trying desperately to hold it together. I've gotta get out of this somehow, can't be so submissive, so willing. There was something I was going to say, some sort of witty retort; I just couldn't remember what it was. 

Ethan's deft fingers pulled off my sweat-soaked shirt, his cold fingers feeling like heaven against my already sweaty skin. "Babe, you should be the one shutting up," he whispered, moving his mouth down to my neck. I held back a moan as he placed gentle kisses across my collarbone, a whine slipping through my lips. "Well, that's not what I meant." 

Everything's always gotta be a challenge, and Ethan's gonna try to make me as loud as possible. "Want me to fuck you hard against this wall, Markie?" He asked, grinding against me unexpectedly. A small moan escaped from my mouth, and my face went red. Even though this's happened thousands of times, I always get embarrassed when he talks dirty. It's not something you'd expect from a guy that looks barely 18, but I don't really care. "Or do you want me to take you to bed and treat you like the king you are?" 

He brought my lips gently to his before I could answer, breaking away after a mere moment. "Fuck, Eth," I whimpered, slinging my arms around his neck. "Bed." 

Without another word, he swept me off my feet, carrying me to our bedroom in the bridal carry. "Maybe you actually are stronger than me," I muttered, and he laughed softly, setting me down on the bed. 

"I told ya so." Ethan placed a gentle kiss on the tip of my nose, moving to kiss all over my face. "I love you, Mark." 

He moved his face down to my neck, kissing gently along my collarbone as I gasped, "I love you too." 

Ethan traveled down my neck and towards my nipples, placing a gentle and quick kiss on every single spot of skin he could see. Everywhere he touched sent waves of happiness through my body, and I subconsciously arched my back to get him closer to me. He chuckled softly, looking up down me with a loving expression. As he brought a hand up to cup my face, he brought his lips to mine, his tongue slipping into my mouth immediately. 

Fuck. 

The taste of strawberries on his tongue was faint, but definitely still there. I was immediately addicted; I thought strawberries were okay before, but I don't think I'd ever be able to eat them again without thinking of Ethan. Of how much he loves me. 

I pulled desperately at the hem of his shirt, tugging it over his head and breaking the kiss. "Someone's eager," he murmured, and I whined, pulling his face back to mine. He let me have this small victory, one hand tangling in my hair (oh fuck, he's gonna be the death of me) and the other reaching down to palm my bulge through my jeans. I unconsciously bucked my hips, and Ethan pulled away, shaking his head (though he was still smiling). 

"Ah ah ah," he murmured, pressing another feather-light kiss to the tip of my nose. "We're playing by my rules. I'm the alpha this time, Mark, and we're gonna go nice and slow, so you can really see how much I love you." 

I whimpered again as Ethan undid my button slowly, dragging down the zipper one tiny hook at a time. "Ethan, please," I begged, not even feeling ashamed. I was more turned on than I'd ever been, and this'd been happening a lot lately. "Please." 

"Please what?" He asked, hooking his fingers around the waist of my jeans. 

"Make love to me," I breathed. His eyes gleamed, and he winked at me before pulling my jeans down, leaving my boxers up. 

Which was sorta useless, because five seconds later, those were off too. 

My dick flopped against my stomach, fully hard. Ethan looked up at me in surprise, and I shrugged slightly. "What'd you expect when you were kissing me all over?" I asked rhetorically. Ethan only chuckled, bringing his hand onto me and stroking gently. My mind clouded as he sped up slightly, barely resisting the urge to buck up my hips. That'd only make things take longer. 

My eyes fluttered closed as I panted in time with the strokes. It got exponentially harder to stay still, and the moment I moved my hips Ethan's hand was gone. I whined, opening my eyes again. Ethan had grabbed the lube off of the nightstand, taking the time to carefully coat his fingers. Coincidence, or on purpose? "Ready baby?" he asked, his dry hand returning to my cock as his other circled my entrance. 

"Please," I murmured, my voice cracking. Pressing a soft kiss to the inside of my thigh, Ethan slipped two fingers inside, pumping and curling them slowly. As I pushed my hips back to reach his shallow thrusts, his hand left my dick and went to pin down my hips instead. "Eth, I'm ready, I need you, please, shit," I babbled as he curled his fingers against my prostate, a small bead of precum appearing at the tip of my dick. 

"Are you sure? You haven't had much prep, and-" 

"Eth, baby, please," I said, trying to put as much fake annoyance into my voice as possible. "We've done this- holy shit." My act fell apart as he massaged my prostate, my hips jerking wildly against my will. "Please, please, Ethan, I-" 

He shut me up with another kiss, his lips still tasting like strawberry. "You're so impatient," he murmured, pulling his fingers out. I immediately whined from the lack of fullness, my subconscious telling me I should probably be embarrassed. 

Ethan finally rid himself of his jeans and boxers, sliding a condom down his length and then stroking himself, lube in the palm of his hand. "I've been saying this a lot today, but I love you," he said, immediately pushing in. 

I gasped, instinctively clenching at the intrusion. "God, Ethan, holy shit, I love you so goddamn much." 

He rolled his hips forward slowly, setting a snail's pace of rhythm. I saw stars in a different way than usual; not the usual overwhelming pleasure, but I was able to feel every millimeter that he moved. "Eth, please, faster, God, I love you so much, please-" 

"As you wish, babe," he replied softly, bringing me into another kiss as he picked up the pace. Pleasure rocked through my body in waves, my body falling back against the bed and my hands grasping at the sheets. 

"Fuck, Ethan," I moaned, pulling my lips away from his. "N-not gonna last, ah-" 

He sped up his thrusts and motions on my dick, letting out small pants of pleasure. "I'm close t-too," he stuttered, his cock burying deep inside me as he quickly jerked me off. 

"Fuck, Ethan," I whined, coming all over his chest and both our stomachs. He cursed quietly as he came, the liquid feeling a little weird against the condom still inside me. "We definitely need a shower." 

Ethan laughed, pulling out and throwing away the condom. "I WAS gonna work out, but I think today should be a recording day. You're probably not gonna be able to walk for a while, anyway." 

I pouted, making grabby arms at him as he stood up. "Carry me?" 

With a huff, he replied, "You're lucky I love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOOO I'm not good at writing smut. I dunno, I think it's okay, but it's certainly not good. Hope you enjoyed regardless!


	9. Domestic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by mlnwtd: "Oooh. This is amazing. Can you please write some poly Mark/Amy/Ethan/Mika fluff, maybe Netflix and Chill and all sweet and nice?"

Request: "Oooh. This is amazing. Can you please write some poly Mark/Amy/Ethan/Mika fluff, maybe Netflix and Chill and all sweet and nice?" 

Requested: 02-08-2020, 6:06 AM EST 

Started: 02-24-2020, 10:00 AM EST 

Finished: 02-24-2020 

Ethan smiled as he set down the last bowl of popcorn on the coffee table. "I think we're ready!" he exclaimed in a sing-song voice. 

"Can someone help me carry in the hot chocolates?" Amy yelled from the kitchen. Mika threw the blanket off of her lap and onto Mark, rushing into the kitchen to help their girlfriend. 

Today was a double rarity; no one had any work to do, and it had snowed. It was only a light dusting, but it was enough for Ethan and Mark to get in a snowball fight; when Mika nailed them both in the face when they were 'making up' (aka making out in the backyard), Amy'd called for a halt to all snowball throwing. All three had whined, but what Amy says goes, so they went back inside. Mark had suggested the bright idea of everyone cuddling on the couch and watching movies until four in the morning (or until Ethan passed out, whichever came first), and the snow just set the mood of a comfy night in. So Amy made a kettle-full of hot chocolate, and Ethan was in charge of popping the popcorn, while Mika and Mark relaxed, bickering over which movie to watch. 

"Are you sure we should watch a horror movie?" Mark asked, taking a mug from Mika's hands and moving the blanket off his face. "It's pretty late, and you both know how Ethan is about horror movies." 

"Hey!" Ethan exclaimed, turning to glare at Mark. "I've gotten a lot better!" 

"This one even isn't that scary." Mark looked at Mika in surprise, and she shrugged, smiling a bit. "Amy and I went and saw it when it first came out. It's really not scary." 

Mark huffed, throwing the blanket over Mika and taking a long sip of hot chocolate. "You better be right, because I'm not having Ethan kick me all night tonight." 

"If he does, we can switch beds tonight, Mark," Amy murmured, squeezing in between Mark and Ethan and sliding under the oversized blanket. "I feel like it's my turn anyway." 

Ethan rolled his eyes. "Guys, stop talking about me like I'm not here! I've gotten a lot better, and Mika says it's not even scary, so let's just watch it!" 

Amy reached over and petted his hair, trying to calm him down. Ethan sighed, laying his head on her shoulder. "I'm sorry," Mark murmured, reaching his arm around Amy to pat him on the shoulder. Ethan wordlessly reached up, entwining his fingers with Mark's and squeezing slightly. Mark squeezed back, taking another sip of his hot chocolate. 

"You guys ready?" Mika asked, a white outline around the movie. 

"How long's this been on Netflix?" 

Mika shrugged. "I dunno, Ames, it just came out on DVD a few weeks ago." 

"We're ready," Ethan answered, and Mika pressed the button of the remote, setting it down on the coffee table as the opening credits started. 

The movie seemed innocent enough, following a young boy on his way to school for the first few minutes. Even though Amy and Mika had already seen it, they were on the edge of their seats, clearly invested. Mark was much more distracted, dragging his thumb against Ethan's hand and glancing over. Even though Mark and Ethan bickered all the time, always said things they didn't mean (or in a weird tone), Mark always worried that he'd messed up for real. As the first piece of dialogue was spoken, Ethan caught Mark's eye, squeezing his hand three times; their signal for 'I love you'. Mark smiled softly, squeezing in return. 

"When's it gonna get faster paced?" Mark complained, his hand starting to rub Ethan's. "I thought you said this was a horror movie." 

"Right about now," Mika said, the sound of gunshots bringing Mark's attention back to the screen. 

"Well that went from zero to a hundred really fast," Ethan complained. "Does it get any scarier than that?" 

"Not really," Amy replied, grabbing a handful of popcorn from the bowl on the coffee table. 

"It's not even scary, it's just intense!" Mark exclaimed, stopping his rubbing of Ethan's hand as he took another sip of his hot chocolate. "Seriously, what else happens?" 

"It does get scarier!" Mika said to Amy, completely ignoring Mark. Neither of the boys caught Mika's wink, but Amy's jaw dropped slightly in realization. "Remember like halfway through, when-" 

"Oh yeah!" Amy exclaimed, trying to prank the other two. She was too tired and relaxed to know (or care) that it wasn't a great prank. "Yeah, never mind. And we're not gonna spoil it, Mark, just shut up at watch the movie." 

"You're the one talking," Mark muttered, and Amy pushed his shoulder a little. Ethan chuckled slightly, all four returning their attention to the movie. 

The movie continued, not yet getting to the climactic part that Amy and Mika were talking about. Ethan's head laid fully on Amy's neck, and she methodically dragged her fingers through his hair. Mark and Ethan were still holding hands, and Mika was curled up next to Mark, stealing sips of his hot chocolate when he wasn't paying attention. 

Not a single person in the relationship was paying attention to the movie. They focused on each other, because they barely had the chance to. They paid attention to Mark's banter, to Ethan's relaxed sigh as he fell onto Amy's shoulder, to Mika stealing Mark's food (he noticed, but it was so damn domestic that his heart didn't let him be bothered), to Amy quietly muttering the character's lines seconds before they said them. They focused on the little things. 

Just in case this was the last time things'd be like this for a while. 

The movie ended without the climax Mark and Ethan were expecting. "Nothing else scary happened!" Ethan exclaimed, the sound slightly muffled since he was still snuggled into Amy's collarbone. "You click baited us, guys!" 

Mark and Mika chuckled, sharing a knowing look. Since they were both very close to Ethan before they all started a relationship together, they knew how weird he was when he was tired. The system seemed to be going faster tonight, since the next words he said were slurred: "What's our movie we're watching next?" 

Mark reached around Amy and patted him on the shoulder. "Eth, you're too tired to watch another movie," he said, annunciating each syllable so that Ethan could understand him. 

"No I'm not," he shot back, immediately yawning. Amy chuckled as he snuggled further into her chest, muttering, "Your voice is super cute when you're tired, Markie." 

Mika, suppressing a chuckle, murmured, "Eth, conscious you would be so mad you're saying this stuff. It's bedtime." She wriggled out from underneath the blanket with the help of Mark, walking over to pick Ethan up and position him into a bridal carry. Ethan didn't object, merely squeaking and hiding his face in Mika's shoulder. 

"You've been working out?" He asked as Mika started carrying him away. Mark stood to try to follow them, glancing back to Amy after a second for her approval. 

Amy nodded, motioning for him to follow. "Meek and I are gonna watch a few more movies," she murmured. "Go snuggle with Ethan, you haven't been able to lately." 

With a wordless grin, Mark nodded, scurrying off and up the stairs to follow his partners, leaving Amy to clean up the mugs and half-empty popcorn bowls. By the time he'd gotten up there and into their room, Mika was stripping off Ethan's jeans and button-up and helping him pull on a clean pair of pajama pants and one of Amy's hoodies. "Thanks, Mika," Mark murmured, giving her a short kiss before starting to strip himself. She blushed slightly (like she always did when she saw them naked), smiling a soft half-smile before letting the door shut and going back down the steps. 

Ethan collapsed face-first onto the bed. "Maybe I AM tired," he groaned, the sound muffled by the comforter and other blankets. Mark chuckled, walking over and propping Ethan up so that Mark could look at him. 

"Kiss goodnight?" Mark asked, and Ethan smiled, pecking him on the nose. 

"'M too tired. Kiss good morning." 

"Kiss good morning, then," Mark agreed, peeling back the covers and letting Ethan take the left side of the bed. As soon as the blankets were pulled back over the both of them, Ethan captured Mark in a hug, burying his face deep in Mark's neck and almost melting at the scent of his cologne. 

"Goodnight, Eth," Mark murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to Ethan's head. 

He breathed softly in response, already asleep. Mark chuckled again, pulling him infinitely closer and letting his eyes slip shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I did this justice. I feel like it was really good, but it might've gotten a bit rant-y somewhere in there, so sorry. Thanks for requesting, I had a lot of fun writing it! And those reading other than mlnwtd, feel free to leave a request in the comments!


	10. The Consequences of Being a Show Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by The_enigma_of_serendipity: "Okay you literally have me obsessed with your writing now 😂😂 I have another request if you’re willing. So idk if you enjoyed The Who Killed Markiplier story, but I loved it . In the Behind the Scenes+Bloopers vid they did Ethan has to fall backwards off that landing thing(if you look in the video It’s about 20 minutes in). A good fic could be if he was just getting into position and slipped or was accidentally pushed. This could either pan out to where his gymnast skills kicked in and he did like a super cool move and didn’t get hurt or he could get hurt. Happy writing!!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight warning: description of broken bones and pain. Not sure if it's needed, but just in case!

Request: "Okay you literally have me obsessed with your writing now 😂😂 I have another request if you’re willing. So idk if you enjoyed The Who Killed Markiplier story, but I loved it . In the Behind the Scenes+Bloopers vid they did Ethan has to fall backwards off that landing thing(if you look in the video It’s about 20 minutes in). A good fic could be if he was just getting into position and slipped or was accidentally pushed. This could either pan out to where his gymnast skills kicked in and he did like a super cool move and didn’t get hurt or he could get hurt. Happy writing!!" 

Requested: 02-08-2020, 6:42 PM EST 

Started: 02-25-2020, 6:20 AM EST 

Finished: 02-26-2020, 9:20 PM EST 

**Mark**

"Oh, that's gonna be so easy," Ethan said, still laying down on the soft mat. I had my arms spread, and I wasn't sure why; maybe my subconscious wanted to protect Ethan. Just maybe. 

Ethan bounded back up the stairs like an excited child on their way to the ice cream truck, ready to throw himself over the side again. This time, just to be a little show-off, he exclaimed, "I'm gonna do a flip!" 

"Alright," Amy yelled back, and Ethan positioned himself to do the flip. He took a deep breath, shifting slightly to get into better form. Oh shit. 

When Ethan moved his foot, it made him lose his balance. Time seemed to travel in slow motion as Ethan fell towards the mat, his neck seeming to go down first. He's gonna break his neck, I realized in a sudden moment of clarity. No matter how soft that mat is, he's going to break a bone. Please, please, whoever's watching, whoever's listening, don't let him hurt himself. 

My thoughts raced a mile a minute as I focused on Ethan. Everybody else's gasps were just background noise. Please don't let him snap his neck. 

He finally seemed to understand that if he didn't do something, he was going to get seriously hurt. Ethan pulled his legs in towards his chest and flipped himself in the air, making it so that his back was facing the mat in the safe way we'd discussed. The mat thudded as he hit it, sitting up with a smile. 

How the hell did he flip like that in the air? 

"Ethan, are you okay?" Amy asked, rushing towards him with a hand outstretched. I followed her, my mind still racing. There's no way in physics that he could've done that! 

Ethan let out a sigh, pushing himself up and sliding off the mat, landing on his feet. "I really thought I was about to snap my neck there," he said jokingly, panting slightly. 

I wordlessly pulled him into a hug, letting my head fall onto his shoulder. "You scared the shit outta me, Eth," I whispered, and I could feel him chuckling deep in his throat. His heart was beating faster than I'd ever heard it beat before, and mine pounded alongside it. 

"Well, yeah, I can't just die," he said, obviously trying to lighten the mood. "You need someone to run the cameras." 

I scoffed, squeezing him a little bit tighter. "That's what we've got Pam for." 

**~Meanwhile, in another universe...~**

**Ethan**

"Oh, that's gonna be so easy," I said, letting myself stay down on the soft mat. I raised my head, looking over to Mark; he had his arms stretched out to his sides like he was gonna catch me if I fell. My heart fluttered at the thought, and I pushed my hair out of my eyes, trying to keep my composure. He's not out to our friends, Ethan. Stop it. 

After a moment, I pushed myself up and slid down the mat, skipping up the stairs and carefully slinging my legs over the banister. My heart was still fluttering from Mark's subconscious reaction, and a wave of jealously crashed over me. The hard-wired reaction to that was, of course, to be as much of a show-off as possible; maybe remind Mark why he picked me in the first place. "I'm gonna do a flip!" I declared, shifting awkwardly to try to turn around. 

My foot got caught between two pillars of the banister as I turned. It caught me off guard; that, mixed with the slippery hardwood floor, wasn't going to end up good. 

Time seemed to travel in slow motion as I fell. My brain went haywire. How far was I from the ground? How is the mat tilted? 

Okay, if you want to live, you need to flip, I told myself. I pulled my legs closer to my body and flipped so that I was facing down, towards the mat. Bad idea bad idea bad idea- 

My arms extended to catch my fall against my will, and as they made contact with the mat, I heard a sickening crack. It didn't matter how soft the mat was; at the speed I was going, and the lack of control, I don't know why I expected anything different. 

I groaned softly into the mat, face down. I've broken my wrist before, and immediately after impact, my entire wrist went numb; it was the same this time. Something about the adrenaline cleared my head; I'm pretty sure that's how it's supposed to work, but I'm not sure. However, my other wrist was in agonizing pain. Maybe I hurt it just enough for the pain to remain, but not enough for it to go numb. 

"Ethan, are you okay?" Amy exclaimed. I tried to turn myself over, momentarily forgetting how useless my arms were. I whimpered in spite of my teeth clamping down around my tongue. 

"I think I b-broke my wrist again," I muttered, the sound even more muffled since I was speaking into the mat. 

A pair of strong arms gently wrapped around my waist, turning me over so that I was laying on my back. Mark's concerned face stared down at mine, and I managed a weak smile. His eyes flicked down to my wrists; he winced, jerking his eyes back to my face. "Yeah, we need to take you to the hospital," Mark murmured. 

"Wait, I-" 

"Can you walk, or should I carry you?" He asked, and I shook my head. 

"Mark, hold on, my-" 

He brought a finger to my lips gently. "Ethan, can you walk, or should I carry you?" 

My face burned. I guess this is what I get for trying to show off. "Carry me," I muttered, just loud enough so that Mark could make it out. He gently brought me into a bridal carry, my broken wrists laid neatly across my stomach. 

"Yeah, uh, you guys get the day off," he called over his shoulder, setting a brisk pace out to the car. Owls hooted, fireflies flickered to life; it's nice to think that the rest of the world goes on despite my pain. 

Mark carefully set me in the passenger's seat, buckling me in and shutting the door gently. He slammed the door on his side, however, jamming the keys into the ignition. "Mark, my insurance won't cover this." 

He shook his head, smiling softly. "Babe, I'm gonna pay for it. Don't worry about that. How bad does it hurt?" 

I shrugged. "My right one's completely numb, so I think I broke that one, and the left one's in agony, so I think I fractured it." 

Mark clenched the steering wheel tightly as he backed out, pulling onto the long, winding road to the outside world. "How are you so calm about this, Eth?" He asked. 

"Shock," I said simply, and he made a noise of acknowledgment, falling into a tense silence. I stared out the window uselessly, since it was too dark to see anything but darker figures (trees) rushing by. "I think you should come out to them. Our friends." 

Mark started, the car jolting a bit as his foot went down harder on the gas. After a long moment, he replied, "Okay." 

"I mean, you're probably gonna have to help me out, with two broken wrists," I joked, part of it ringing true in my head. 

Thankfully, Mark only laughed. "Anything for you, baby," he murmured, shaking his head fondly. "Anything for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The_enigma_of_serendipity and The_Snow_Ninja were talking about how they wanted both, and didn't know which one they wanted more. I know the part where Ethan gets hurt is fairly short, but I wrote both for y'all! Hope you enjoyed!


	11. Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by The_Snow_Ninja. Their entire request was too long to fit, so as per their request, the summary for this chapter is "Ethan's Big Secret".

Request: "It's fine, I don't mind about length. Considering this is a request fanfiction I would be surprised if there wasn't a wait lol. Thank you though I appreciate it. I've had this in my head for ages so it would be super cool to see it written down lol. So the request maybe be a little long winded so apologise in advance. Especially, Ethan has kept a massive secret from his friends for a really long time. In fact, he's kept it from everyone. Mark, Tyler, Wade, Bob (maybe Jake if you want) are going into some woods that claim to be haunted and plan to be there at night to see it it's true. It's all just a joke, they found the rumours from unreliable sources and very few at that so no one takes it seriously. Ethan on the other hand is very against the whole messing with ghost's things but comes along anyway. He didn't know where they where going and once there he starts acting funny. Not chearful, not evenecessarily frightened. He's active tough and protective, seeming to be on edge but not because he's scared. Plus he's super mad (for reasons he refuses to say) that he wasn't told where exactly they were going. Eventually night falls and everyone is still messing around and taking this as one big joke, Ethan keeps kissing at them they they shouldn't be messing with things they don't understand, nor are they prepared to face. Eventually one of them tries talking to him, figure out whats going on and he starts sating stuff about them not understand but saying it in a way like he does. Likes he's seen and experiencedo it first hand. Then out of nowhere anear actual demon pops up and tries attacking, especially Mark because of his very good soul. Ethan is forced to reveal his secret. He's an angel. A garden Angel sent to protect Mark and the people he's befriended along the way. He telecoms them home, his wings with faded blue marking along the white feathers on full display. He explains everything, including how he is in love with Mark. Then another Angel of higher ranking then Ethan shows up and give him a choice. He can stay on eath with the one he loves and his friends but his Angel side along with his memories are lost, or their memories of him are whipped and he will never again be allowed to walk the earth. He looks at his friends and the man he loves knowing what they want him to choose but desided instead to become human. It breaks Marks heart to see the per son he loves forget him and all he has left of his Angel is a singer feather that came off his wings when they where taken from him. However, a few month later when they are all hanging out, Ethan finds the feather very carefully hidden inside a shoe box under Marks bed. He comes back to them feather in hand and they all hold there breath, they where prepared incase he ever found it. They had come up with a background story that explained the feather. But when he looked back up at them tears rolling down his eyes Mark comes over and cups his face whopping the tears asking what's wrong. Ethan grabs of the hands hold his face gentle and looks up smiling and states "I remember you." (Maybe you sing a stupid pet name or something and they kiss. Ethan likes having his memory back but if anyone asks he didn't miss beingredients an angel. As an angel would outlive them all, that he had lived for quite some time but hadn't had a life. Now, he'd live and die with them and actually start living a life full of love, care and hard work. He'd live a human life. The kind of life he's always wanted. And mark, was gunnamed be there every step of the way. (Ethan was always an angel to Mark, but knowing he really is one and chose him instead, is the biggest and truest display Mark has ever received, and he will do everything in his power to show Ethan that same lover for the rest of there day and even beyondo that when they meet again in the afterlife.) Again, Soooooo sorry for length. I have an overactive imagination that's hard to shut up 😅. If you don't want to to it that's completely fine, I get it. Especially because looking back on on it it's stupidly spasific. However, if you do do it thank you so much!! Love your work and looking forward to more chapters!!" 

Requested: 02-09-2020, 9:10 PM EST 

Started: 02-26-2020, 9:40 PM EST 

Finished: 03-09-2020, 7:50 PM EST 

Ethan has a secret. Two, actually. 

Neither of them are bad secrets, per se. Sometimes, he even wishes that the people in his life knew. Ethan doesn't like to hide things from his friends; if he has to put on a persona in public and on YouTube, he loves to be his genuine self with his friends. But Ethan knows the rules. If anyone figures out one of them, the punishment will destroy them. Ethan doesn't care about what it'd do to him; but his corny friends with already short lifespans... 

Ethan couldn't live if something bad happened to them. 

So Ethan keeps his deathly secret safe inside his heart. 

The blue-haired boy lets the other secret shine through, though. It might be painful if they figure it out, but he's tired of waiting; and if the flirty looks Mark gives him are any indication of how he feels, then Ethan thinks he has a pretty good chance of scoring a boyfriend. 

If only he had some balls. 

Speaking of balls, Mark had a very dumb idea. Ethan could just tell. Mark, Tyler, Wade, and Bob all whispering excitedly in a corner is never a good thing. Especially when they start glancing over to Ethan. 

"Ethan," Mark exclaimed in a sing-song voice, standing from his chair and walking over to lean up against the wall next to Ethan. "The four of us have an idea, since Bob and Wade are only in town for a few more days." 

Ethan let out a long sigh; but, since Mark was giving him those puppy dog eyes he couldn't resist, he just had to humor him. "Alright, I'm listening." 

Mark immediately perked up. He hadn't expected Ethan to indulge yet another potentially life-threatening idea, but you never know with Ethan. "The woods, out behind Mika's house? Rumor says they're haunted." 

Ethan's head snapped up, and Mark could swear he saw a twinge of fear in his eyes. "Mark, what have I told you about messing with the occult!" Ethan exclaimed, throwing up his hands and hitting them against the wall. 

"We're not messing with the occult, Eth," Tyler said, only inches away from Ethan's ear. He jumped, eyeing Tyler cautiously. "It's just some old rumor that Mark heard at the nursing home. The REAL reason we're going out there is because Amy said there's some sick fort building places." 

"If you ever say 'sick' unironically again, I'm going to beat you up," Mark said, his gaze still trained on Ethan. The younger shivered under Mark's stare, trying to repress the feelings he was 80% sure weren't reciprocated. Mark, however, was dying; the number of hints he dropped, and Ethan was still clueless? Mark was ready to give up after tonight, no matter how much it'd hurt trying to get over him. 

"As long as we don't stay after dark, that sounds pretty cool," Ethan conceded after a moment. Mark adorably punched the air, and Ethan chuckled. "Lemme just get changed, and I'll be ready to go." 

"Um, actually, I was wondering if you wanted to get lunch with me before we went to the woods?" Mark asked, a sudden wave of shyness flowing over him. Damn it, I ruined it, he groaned mentally. Please just take it in a friendly way, I don't think I can physically handle rejection, please just- 

"S-sure!" Ethan stuttered, a blush immediately falling over his cheeks. Now it was Ethan's turn to die inside. 

Bob, Wade, and Tyler had backed off, muttering to each other. "They've been pining after each other for two damn years, finally," Tyler said, rolling his eyes slightly. 

"Might as well pick up a suit for the wedding," Bob chimed in, and all three chuckled. Mark and Ethan were in their own little world, chatting animatedly as they walked out the front door and towards Mark's car. 

"I'm gonna take a shower before we go," Wade announced. "Don't want the spooky spirits to think I smell gross." 

All three laughed, dispersing off to their guest bedrooms to either nap (looking at you, Bob) or get ready for the woods. 

Meanwhile, Ethan and Mark sat awkwardly in Mark's car, the GPS occasionally telling Mark which direction to turn. "Why are we being so awkward?" Ethan asked, chuckling slightly. "I mean, we've hung out before." 

Mark took a deep breath as he turned left. "I was kinda hoping that this'd be more than just hanging out," he breathed, and Ethan looked over to him in surprise. 

"Mark, I-" Ethan cut himself off, glancing back out the front windshield. "MARK, STOP!" 

He slammed on the breaks, tires screeching against the road. "What is it?" Mark asked panickedly, looking back out the front window. A small dog scurried across the road and back onto the sidewalk, three people chasing after it. 

"Sorry!" One of them yelled, all three dashing into an alley next to their car. 

"Jeez," Ethan said, breathing heavily. They could've just killed a dog. That poor dog, and those poor people. 

"I'm really sorry, we probably shouldn't be talking about this at all, let alone when I'm driving," Mark rambled. "It's a really bad idea to tell you, and-" 

"It's not a bad idea, just bad timing," Ethan said, looking over at Mark with a silly smile on his face. Now that the adrenaline was fading, Ethan finally realized the magnitude of the situation. Mark liked him too. 

But would Mark still like him if he came out of hiding? If he told Mark who he really was? Ethan didn't think so. But Mark still liked him, even though it wasn't all of him. 

Ethan continued: "Let's talk about this after Bob and Wade leave. This might be the last time we see them for a while, and I'd love for it to just be normal for one more night. And don't you dare even apologize, okay, Mark?" 

Mark merely nodded, smiling slightly as he kept his eyes on the road. "Okay." 

Little did either of them know, was that everything was going to change that night. 

**~-~-~-~-~-~**

"So, we might've been lying a little bit," Tyler said, looking over his shoulder at Ethan. Tyler and Wade sat in the back, Ethan squeezed in between them. "We might be messing with the occult just a little bit." 

Ethan rolled his eyes, and after a moment Wade chimed in, "And we also might be there a little bit after dark." 

"What'd I tell you guys about doing stuff like this?!" Ethan asked rhetorically, crossing his arms. "Why can't you guys trust me one time on this? It's a really terrible idea to go messing around with things you don't understand." 

He's talking like he's made that mistake before, Mark mused mentally. Maybe he's just nervous about being out late at night. "It's just rumors, Eth, no one actually thinks that the woods are actually haunted," Mark said. "And besides, we can drop you off at a McDonalds or something and call you an Uber if you're actually uncomfortable." 

Letting out a long sigh, Ethan replied, "No, I sorta have to go at this point. If you guys are gonna be dumbasses, at least I'll be there to try and keep you safe." 

Tyler and Wade looked at each other worriedly over Ethan's head. Ethan never really acted like he could protect them; he was a twink, and everyone knew it. Including himself. And as soon as the 'occult' had been brought up, Ethan's entire body had immediately tensed. The two in the backseat were worried, to say the least. 

However, Mark was lost in his own thoughts. Was Ethan just trying to spare his feelings, wanting one last night of friendship? Did Ethan like him back, but he wanted things to be normal and safe for one last night? His biggest worry was Ethan getting uncomfortable tonight, messing with 'spirits' (which were probably fake, but Mark wasn't going to invalidate anything Ethan or anyone else believed in), and that he would be too uncomfortable to be honest. They didn't have the best friendship they could possibly have, but the loss of what they did have was something that Mark thought would break him. 

Finally, Mark pulled into Mika's driveway, the gravel crunching under his car's wheels. Tyler opened his door before the car even stopped, desperate to have his own personal space back. Ethan slid out his side, slamming the door shut harder than he needed to. Mark knew in the bottom of his heart that they probably should've told Ethan what they were doing, where they were going... but Ethan could leave at any time. If he was so pissed off, why would he stay? 

Ethan was pissed; Mark had that right. And he didn't want to stay, especially once he saw the random sequoia towering above the other trees. This wood wasn't angel territory, and if the foreboding Ethan was filled with told him anything, he should get all the mortals out of here immediately. But none of them would listen to him; they're all stronger than him, taller than him, more eloquent than him. 

But they could die. 

And Ethan couldn't. 

"You didn't tell me it was these woods!" Ethan whined, turning to look helplessly at Mark. Mark only shrugged, sympathy clear in his eyes, but he obviously wasn't going to help Ethan. 

"They're practically the same as all the other woods!" Wade defended, crossing his arms as he moved to stand next to Mark. "Ethan, c'mon, don't be a baby about this." 

Ethan opened his mouth to retort, but Mark spoke up before he could: "Just because he doesn't really want to do something doesn't mean he's a baby! And he's still here, so isn't that all that counts?" 

Wade rolled his eyes. "I guess." 

Ethan smirked slightly; Mark could say anything he wanted, and the only one that'd challenge his authority was Tyler. Thankfully, Tyler was knocking on Mika's door and thanking her for letting them go into her woods, so Mark stayed in charge. 

"Thank you," Tyler said, and Mika smiled, shutting her door with a nod. Tyler bounded down the steps, swinging around the post holding up the roof so that he was facing Mark. "She said we can stay for as long as we want, as long as we stay away from the sequoia and watch out for snakes." 

"Why do we need to stay away from the sequoia?" Ethan asked, following Tyler and Mark as they started to walk into the woods. 

Tyler shrugged, replying, "She didn't say; her house, her rules, though." 

Mark nodded, and the group was silent as they made their way into the woods. The further they went into the woods, Mark noticed, the tenser Ethan seemed to get. Every time a twig cracked underfoot, Ethan's head snapped towards the noise; every time the wind whistled through the branches overhead, Ethan looked to the sky, letting his eyes drift shut for a moment. 

Mark didn't want to bring anyone else's attention to it. Maybe Ethan just felt weird today. But he seemed relaxed at lunch, laughing at all of Mark's jokes and keeping conversation pleasant. The moment the woods were brought up again, he tensed. Maybe they should've listened to Ethan and just went home. 

The sound of Bob gasping jolted Mark out of his thoughts, his head swinging towards the noise. Bob had crouched down near the ground, a tiny bunny perched on a log next to him. "It's adorable!" He exclaimed, the bunny moving away slightly as the sound pierced its large ears. "Guys, look!" 

Even though the bunny was completely harmless, Ethan had tensed up even further. By the end of the night, Ethan's muscles were going to hurt from how much he was clenching them. Mark shuffled a bit closer to him, leaves crunching beneath his boots. "Are you sure you're okay, Eth?" He whispered. 

Ethan tensed even further at the unexpected words, rolling his eyes. "I'm fine," he said forcefully, "just sorta pissed you guys didn't tell me where we were going." 

"Sorry," Mark murmured, backing off. Ethan didn't get upset or mad a lot. Scratch that- Mark had never seen Ethan get mad in their entire friendship. Ethan preferred to talk about things when he felt bad, not push people away. 

Mark was so tempted to just take Ethan home with him and make him talk, but he couldn't just leave Bob and Wade here when he had no idea when he'd see them again. 

So they were both stuck in an awkward, frustrating position. 

**~-~-~-~-~-~**

Night had fallen quickly, the last of the sunset's warm hues gone. Each person in the group had flicked their flashlight on, and Bob shouted, "Let's play hide and seek!" 

Ethan was quick to protest. "What if someone gets bitten by a snake, or trips and breaks their leg?" 

"What's life without a little risk?" Tyler shot back, and Ethan's face went red, only himself able to tell because of the darkness. 

Mark rolled his eyes. Ethan's overprotectiveness had gotten slightly annoying. As much as he loved the kid, they were adults; they could take care of themselves, and everyone had a phone. But if they were going to do this, he couldn't stand to make Ethan uncomfortable, so he replied, "How about we make a campfire? I know how to control one, and I brought marshmallows. If we're still bored afterward, we can play hide and seek." 

"Fair enough," Wade and Tyler replied. Bob muttered quietly, setting his backpack on the ground and pulling out a box of matches, throwing them towards Mark. 

Ethan silently gathered small twigs and dried leaves, the remembrance of how to build a fire from when he was young playing through his mind. Even though he was an angel, they still let him have a childhood; Cub Scouts and camping trips taught him a lot about surviving in the wilderness. 

Mark knelt down next to Ethan, simply watching him gather the fire fuel. "Mark, stop fucking asking, I'm fine," Ethan muttered, grabbing another stick and resisting the urge to break it between his fingers. 

"Can't I worry about you?" Mark asked, his voice low. Ethan shuddered visibly, scooting a little further away from Mark to pick up another stick. "I'm being honest here, Ethan, I'm worried about you. You never act like this." 

The other man let out a large sigh, turning his head to look at Mark. The dim light caused shadows to ripple across Mark's face, tiny demons and angels appearing in front of Ethan's eyes. Either he was way too worried, or Maro was fucking with him. 

Probably both. 

"Promise me you won't fuck with things you don't understand, things that could hurt you, and I'll try to chill out," Ethan replied. Mark frowned slightly, nodding after a moment and standing with a grunt. 

"We should probably get back; between the five of us, we've probably got enough to start the fire." 

"Five of us?" Ethan asked, snorting. "You haven't done anything this entire time!" 

Mark laughed loudly, something rustling in the bushes behind them. Even though Ethan had promised Mark he'd try to 'chill out', he couldn't help but snap his head around at the noise. "C'mon, blue!" Mark called. Chuckling at the nickname, Ethan walked after him, jogging slightly to keep up. 

Ethan and Mark chatted as they walked back to the makeshift 'camp'. Neither of them could be happier; talking to the person they loved, cracking jokes, just the two of them together. But the closer they got to camp, Mark noticed, the tenser Ethan got. Just out of earshot of the others, Mark murmured, "You gotta calm down, kid." 

Ethan shook his head violently, and Mark put a firm hand on his shoulder, holding him in place. "If I really mean it, promise me you'll do anything I say," Ethan said quietly, seeming to submit to the idea of something bad happening. Mark had never seen him act like this before; not fearful, not... anything. Just protective, accepting of whatever might come next. 

If Mark was being honest, it scared him. 

Of course he'd do anything he asked. Ethan didn't have to ask him to do anything, he just would anyway. So Mark nodded, and Ethan sighed noiselessly, and they walked back into 'camp'. 

Bob and Wade were sitting down on a strategically placed log, muttering to each other, while Tyler tried to coax a pile of dead leaves and sticks into a fire. "If you want it to start, you're gonna want a smaller stick," Ethan said, and Mark snickered. 

"That's what she said." 

All three laughed, Bob and Wade still stuck in their own little world. Neither Mark nor Ethan noticed them, still in a good mood now that the group had expanded to three. Tyler, however, let his gaze wander to the two Ohioans as Mark and Ethan tried to start the fire. Every so often Wade would glance over in their direction, or Bob would nod vigorously. They were most definitely up to something, and Tyler assumed that Ethan and/or Mark wasn't going to like it. 

Tyler knew, however, that it'd be fucking hilarious to watch. 

He couldn't be more wrong. 

**~-~-~-~-~-~**

The fire was finally burning brightly (and safely, Mark made sure of that), marshmallows wasted and burnt into sticky glue on the ends of the pointiest sticks. 

Bob and Wade had finally stopped their muttering, a devious smile on Wade's face and a smirk that one can only make when they know a secret or some juicy gossip on Bob's. Tyler glanced between the Ohioans and the lovebirds, starting to get slightly worried about what harassment they were going to provide Ethan with now. As much as Tyler hated Ethan's new attitude, they can't blame the kid for being superstitious or scared of an urban legend. Mark and Ethan were unknowingly in domestic bliss, Mark toasting both of their marshmallows (not an innuendo, he told himself) and laughing at each other's dumbass jokes. 

Things were good. 

Which was the exact environment that made things perfect for fucking up. 

"So, Ethan," Wade said, his smirk growing, "isn't it a little weird to believe in ghosts in your twenties? I thought kids outgrew that when they hit double digits." 

"Ha ha, very funny Wade," Ethan deadpanned, shooting a glare over to Bob, who was holding back a chuckle. "Obviously I don't believe in something that's not real, like ghosts." 

"Who said ghosts aren't real-" Mark started, but Bob shushed him, cutting him off. 

"Some other time, Markimoo," Bob teased, and Mark turned even redder in the glow of the firelight. "Well, if it's not ghosts, what's got you so messed up?" 

Ethan rolled his eyes, slouching slightly into the pile of dead leaves. Mark had pushed him into it as a joke, but he stayed there, the crunching leaves more preferable than the stick-infested ground. "Nothing that's your concern has me 'messed up'," Ethan said airily, putting 'messed up' in air quotes. 

"Ooh, Ethan sticking up for himself!" Wade exclaimed, leaning forward with a gleam in his eye. "But seriously, we're in the middle of the woods and it's nine p.m. You can trust us, and you can't act like someone fucked you up without an explanation." 

Mark rolled his eyes, scooting a small inch closer to Ethan. The leaves crinkled the slightest bit, and Ethan blushed, still looking the same because of the firelight's orange hue. "You don't want to know about things you're not prepared to deal with, trust me." 

"Could you stop being cryptic for two goddamn seconds?" Bob asked. Loudly. Ethan froze, not sure if Bob was mad. He'd seen Bob mad a couple times, and that was one of the few things that made him fear for his safety. "Cut the shit, Ethan. There's obviously something wrong with you today, so how about you just spit it out so we can help you." Bob's voice softened as he neared the end of his sentence, and both Mark and Ethan sighed in relief. No one liked an angry Bob, least of all Bob himself. 

"Trust me on this, guys, the last time I told someone they got hurt. It's not something that someone who hasn't experienced it should mess with. That's why I told you we shouldn't come here, last time I was here someone got hurt and I don't want any of you to have to deal with that." Ethan ended his rant, leaning back on his hands and staring into the fire. Why can't they just listen to them? If he wasn't so sure that something was going to happen tonight (which was a full moon, those fucking idiots), he'd just leave, but his fear of them getting hurt tethered him to the lot. 

Mark inched slightly closer, putting a soothing hand on Ethan's. The younger man almost fell back on his hands in surprise, immediately starting to calm down and melt into the leaves as Mark's thumb dragged over his hand. 

A sudden noise from behind them made Ethan's head snap up. He brushed Mark's hand off, not paying attention to Bob's retort. "Quiet, please," Ethan murmured, and though none of them could really hear him over the crackling of the fire, the group fell silent. And so did the rustling under the bush next to them. "Not you, you asshole, come out here and face me like... whatever you are." 

Mark and Tyler looked worriedly at each other over Ethan's head. Was there actually danger, or did Ethan just snap? As all four watched as a horrendous and huge demon rose from the ground, Mark dumbly realized that it was the former. 

Ethan rolled his eyes, standing up and moving in front of Mark, shielding him with his body. "Please fuck off, Gabe Jr.," Ethan sighed. "I'm not in the mood for your shenanigans today. It's not my turn to babysit you." 

The demon kept its eyes trained on Ethan, leaving Mark a few moments to assess the situation. 'Gabe Jr.', as Ethan called it, was about ten feet tall with glowing red eyes. Its form didn't have a definite shape, seeming to flicker and change like a cloud of smoke; the only thing that stayed constant were its eyes and horns. 

"You can't just bring a bunch of humans here on party night and expect me to not show up," it hissed, coming a bit closer to Ethan. Gabe Jr.'s voice somehow sounded like a snake and the crack of thunder; fear-inspiring in almost all, and deadly to those too headstrong to be afraid. "Just one bite of whichever one you like the least and I'll be on my way." 

Ethan snorted. "Stop begging like a whiny little bitch. Obviously I'm not going to let you kill one of my friends just to satiate your appetite. Fuck off or Maro will fuck you up, you know that." 

Mark tried to stay as still as possible, listening to Ethan talk back to the demon. He'd never heard Ethan curse so much on purpose, but at least he was keeping them from getting killed. As Mark took in a shuddering breath, trying to keep calm, the demon disappeared. Ethan whipped his head around, Mark now standing between him and the demon. 

"Damn it," Ethan muttered. Time traveled in slow motion as Gabe Jr. charged towards Mark. Ethan quickly let his wings unfurl from his back, wincing as they ripped through the fabric of his shirt. As the blue-speckled wings shook themselves loose, Ethan walked around the clearing and picked up his friends, setting them in a circle next to Mark. As he started to telecom them back to his house, Maro's stern face appeared, the angel leaning against the tree. Ethan sheepishly smiled as all five of them in the bubble were transported back to Mark's house. 

Time went back to normal as everyone but Tyler collapsed to the ground, Tyler standing with his arms out to keep his balance. They all just stayed frozen, panting and heaving, before Mark finally pushed himself to his feet. "Alright, what the actual fuck just happened?" 

"A demon attacked you," a silky smooth voice said. Maro stood leaning in the doorway, flipping an obsidian knife. Ethan scoffed at Maro's commitment to the emo aesthetic, especially when Ethan's assignment could've died. "Ethan here had a quick enough mind to get you all in a bubble and transport you back here before you died, thankfully. Father would've been dreadfully upset if his little experiment failed so early on." 

Mark took a close look at Ethan for the first time in what felt like forever (even though it was probably less than a minute). His once-pristine Cloak shirt was tattered, barely clinging to his pale skin. Feathery-white wings displayed themselves proudly on Ethan's back, faded blue freckles scattered across them like a reminder of the night sky. Ethan's eyes were glowing neon blue and he was panting, looking desperately at Mark. "Okay, what the hell is going on?" 

Maro caught the blade between his fingers, coal eyes darting to blue. "Not of concern right now, mortal. What you really need to worry about is what's going to happen to your little friend here, now that you know about his secret. Father's told you that punishment of exposure is up to me, right?" Ethan nodded, biting his lip. As much as he complained about the demon-looking angel, he loved him like a brother. They practically were brothers, crafted by the same Father to carry out the same task. Maro just happened to be born last century and have gotten about thirty promotions. 

"Be fair, brother." 

Maro sighed. "I've given this chance out to one before; you remember Tabris' fate." Ethan winced hard, his eyes fluttering shut before he nodded again. "I trust you're smart enough to pick an actual option instead of death. You either forget everything about your life and stay on Earth, a mere mortal who'll live and die like your assignments, or they forget everything about you and you go back to Heaven for deskwork, which is pretty much just a nice smelling hell." 

Ethan took a shaky breath before nodding again. "Say something, Ethan, you're not a bobblehead," Maro joked, though the rest of Ethan's life and livelihood depended on this decision. 

"C-can I have some time to think, possibly say my goodbyes?" Ethan asked, his voice cracking slightly. Maro's eyes narrowed; he'd known Ethan since the younger's birth, and he knew that Ethan had already made his decision. 

"Fifteen minutes, not a moment less. I'll be back for you or your memories, in case you change your mind." And with that, Maro disappeared in a cloud of dust. 

Ethan coughed, waving it out of his face. "I hate it when he does that." He turned to look at his friends, all four standing with dropped jaws. With a sheepish smile, Ethan only said, "I told you to listen to me." 

**~-~-~-~-~-~**

"I'm not even gonna say it again, even though I want to," Mark muttered, tugging on Ethan's sweatshirt so that he'd pay attention. "There's not really enough time for any of our bullshit. Explain please." 

Ethan sighed, letting Mark yank him out of my thought process. "I'm not who you thought I was." Mark made himself comfortable on a couch as Ethan talked, biting his knuckles absentmindedly. "I grew up normal, in Maine, but when I was thirteen that asshole visited me and explained everything. I got these wings and I got an assignment: as soon as I was able, I was supposed to find you, Mark." As Ethan turned to Mark, Mark noticed the small sad smile on his face. "I was assigned to be your guardian angel. I can explain the whole system later, if there's still time and you're interested, but that's not super important right now. I went and did the backflip to get your attention, which I've been told is a rookie mistake, and that I'm supposed to watch from afar, but who do you think dropped hints about all the things you've been in the hospital for? And I told you not to go looking for trouble because your soul is in very high demand and you'd find it." Ethan punctuated the end of his spiel with a sigh, flopping down on the couch next to Mark and letting his head hit the wall, not even wincing. His wings folded awkwardly against his sides to make sure he wasn't hitting Mark's face. 

"Ethan, I-" Mark started, but Ethan cut him off with a glare. 

"Don't even get me started on you, Mark," Ethan said, his voice low. Mark held back a shiver, trying to listen to what Ethan was saying. "You had to just be so goddamn perfect and charismatic and you had to make me fall for you, huh?" 

This time, time only SEEMED to be going in slow motion. Tyler's hand flew to his mouth, Bob and Wade both clapping slightly. Mark, however, finally noticed the tears spilling silently out of his eyes and onto his cheeks. He wiped idly at the wetness, blurry vision still trained on Ethan. "Well, it doesn't matter who loves who anymore if we're going to forget about you." He smiled weakly. Ethan's eyes dropped to his lap tellingly. "Ethan, you know you have to leave. It'll break me seeing you but not you, the guy I love just... erased." 

His eyes were still neon blue, Mark noticed. Guess that comes with being in his 'true form'. "No, Mark, it'll be okay. There's a failsafe, all you have to do is-" Ethan cut himself off as a large clump of feathers fell from his wings. Maro suddenly appeared, rolling his eyes. 

"Don't be stupid, Nestor, you can't just say the failsafe. Time's up, brother, and I assume you haven't changed your mind?" 

Ethan shook his head, and Maro took in a deep breath. "Right then. And I also assume you don't want to be maimed in front of your friends?" Ethan nodded again, Maro teleporting them out of the room and (hopefully, Mark thought) outside. 

The rest of the group just sat in the room, dumbfounded. They watched as Mark's face fell into his hands, quiet sobs that they dutifully ignored coming from his direction. Ethan was gone. Bouncy, bubbly Ethan. Though they all wanted to reflect on their memories, a hair-raising scream came from outside. Tyler wrenched his eyes shut; Wade choked, letting his head hit his knees; and Bob just sat there, still in shock. 

Ethan was gone. 

Metaphorically, of course. 

Maro reappeared in front of the TV, Ethan's limp body in his arms. "Where should I put him?" he asked, and Mark looked up, tears still dripping. 

"I'll... take you there," Mark murmured, rising and leading the angel and Ethan's... body... through his house, up the stairs, and into the guest bedroom. Mark watched as Maro set Ethan onto the bed with infinite gentleness, letting his lips graze Ethan's forehead for a moment before he stood, shifting his weight from foot to foot. 

"Why would he choose to hurt us all like this?" Mark asked quietly, still looking down at Ethan. Maro looked over in surprise as he continued, "Doesn't he know how much this is going to tear me apart?" 

Maro let out a sigh, his hand ghosting through Mark's shoulder. "I'd comfort you if I could, mortal," Maro murmured. "He was my brother, the only other angel I could tolerate. After you, Father said he'd be promoted to the sky, an entertainer. But now he's here. Look at me." His voice hardened immediately, and Mark looked up, too sick of the constant tear flow to even bother. Why can't he just be a little less emotional? 

Because that was your first and last date, a small voice inside him nagged. 

"Put these pads on his wing scars twice a day," Maro said, handing Mark a black container that he assumed was full of medicine. "When he wakes up, just keep repeating his name. I'd suggest reading up on how to deal with amnesia or memory loss tonight and tomorrow. He'll wake up in three days. And he meant it when he said there was a loophole. Don't look at me like that," Maro muttered, his tone injected with disgust when Mark looked at him hopefully. "I'm giving it to you, one second." The angel snapped three times, a book appearing in his hand, which he subsequently handed to Mark. "Find a way to translate it and he's yours." 

"Thank you, Maro," Mark said after a moment, a new batch of tears appearing in his eyes. 

Maro simply waved it off, a small smile on his face; Mark didn't have the faintest idea why. "Don't mention it. Literally don't, I'll have to go do menial work in Hell again." He backed out of the room, which was odd, because he could teleport anywhere he wanted. "I'd love to have his memory back before the end of the year, if at all possible." 

Mark chuckled slightly as Maro's figure blinked out, finally alone in his own house. And then it hit him like a ton of bricks. 

He thought he was being emotional before? That was him holding back. 

Mark dropped to his knees next to Ethan's bed, burying his face in Ethan's bare shoulder and letting it all loose. It had been Ethan, from the moment he'd done a backflip to get his attention. It had been him through tour, through ADWM, through AHWM, through everything. 

He didn't just lose his best friend; he lost any semblance of a future that he had left. 

**~-~-~-~-~-~**

It had been three days. Mark hadn't slept, hadn't eaten, hadn't left his house since that night. He'd said goodbye to Wade and Bob with tears still running down his face, not bothering to tell them about the book. Tyler had offered to stay with Mark. He knew how Mark got when he was breaking down, and though he'd never say it alone, Tyler didn't think he could be alone that night. 

Mark agreed, silently thinking the same. Tyler slept in Mark's bed with him, the two wrapped up tightly together, tears practically staining their whole bodies. Neither slept, thoughts racing too fast for either to relax, adrenaline still pumping through their veins. When Mark decided that it was an appropriate time to get up, Tyler forced him to shower and made breakfast. They'd both picked at the fluffy pancakes and too-sweet syrup, Tyler promising to come back a few days after Ethan woke up. 

He'd filmed videos all day, instilling fake pep into his voice. It wasn't hard for him to act happy, act 'normal'; he'd never felt this numb. He didn't notice the pangs of hunger, the draw of his bed, the buzz of his phone. He was a blank slate, and all over himself he drew happiness. 

By night, he read the book like a starving Christian reads the Bible, searching up keywords and titles, scrolling to the back pages of Google. His bookmarks bar filled with scholarly articles about the translation of obscure languages and looking for patterns. Mark theorized that the language used an alphabet in a way similar to English, but with four extra characters. 

That wasn't important in his brain right now. 

He'd picked up the pile of feathers Ethan's wings had left behind, storing both the speckled feather and the book in a shoebox under his bed when he wasn't reminiscing. 

He'd done everything right, everything he could. 

But now it was up to Ethan, and whatever Ethan wanted to do would happen. 

The boy in question's eyes finally fluttered open, Mark leaning forward on the chair he'd dragged over. Ethan's head turned to the side, and his eyes locked with Mark's, his eyes gray instead of green. Said eyes widened, and Ethan pushed himself away from Mark, sitting up and whipping his head around to look at the room. "What..." he murmured, his voice hoarse from disuse. "What's going on? Who are you? Who am I?" 

"You're Ethan," Mark replied, remembering Maro's words. Maro trusted him to get Ethan back. He could do this. "Your name is Ethan. You have amnesia, Ethan, you can't remember anything." 

Ethan stared at him dumbly. "I'm Ethan? Ethan." 

"Ethan," Mark repeated, a small smile reappearing on his face. 

A tiny flame of hope sparked to life in Mark's chest, immediately extinguished as Ethan asked: "Who are you?" 

"I'm Mark," he murmured. "I think you should stay with me until you get your memory back." 

"How long will that be?" 

Ethan asked with such innocence, such hope, that it broke Mark's already shattered hope. He felt the numbness covering him like a blanket as he replied, "I'm working on it. I promise." 

**~-~-~-~-~-~**

Ethan forced Mark to eat, to drink, even to shower. To take breaks from recording videos and help him record a video saying that Ethan has amnesia and won't be uploading for a while. But Ethan couldn't get him to sleep. 

Deep in his gut, Ethan knew that Mark didn't usually act like this. Putting the fact that Ethan was going to be staying with Mark for an undefined period of time and the fact that Mark seemed happier when Ethan acted like 'his old self', Ethan theorized that Mark and he were very close, and that the loss of Ethan's memory was really hard on Mark. And that was understandable. 

But Mark had bags under his eyes, dark like the night and deep like the ocean. Ethan'd been awake for three days now, and Mark hadn't slept a wink. 

Ethan hardly had either. He had terrible dreams about his back pain (Mark put salve pads on each day and each night, but it still hurt) and where it came from, every night an apologetic creature ripping knives out of the spots and pouring in acid. Sometimes he had nightmares about a cloud of smoke descending on Mark's house and hurting all the people Ethan knew (Amy had stopped by to drop off Mark's car and check on him; Mika had come by the second day and apologized; and Tyler had just left a few hours ago, his smile that Mark told him he usually had gone). So as the stars twinkled outside Ethan's window, he took a deep breath and pushed himself up off the bed and started down the hallway. 

He gently knocked on Mark's door, too tired to care about his sloppy appearance; since neither of them wanted to leave the safety of Mark's house long enough to get any of Ethan's things, Ethan borrowed all of Mark's too-big clothes, nothing but a Cloak hoodie and his boxers on. 

Mark let out a sigh, shoving the book and his notebook into the shoebox and then stuffing it back under his bed. "Come in," he said softly, his door opening with a creak. "What's up, Eth?" 

Ethan blushed slightly at the nickname. Was that a normal thing people called him? He'd barely talked to anyone but Mark, so he hadn't the faintest clue. "I k-keep having nightmares and I'm afraid to go to sleep," he whispered. Mark's face flooded with concern, motioning Ethan toward his bed. 

"It's about time I hit the sack anyway. You get yourself settled, and I'll be right back, okay?" 

Ethan nodded, and Mark grabbed a pair of sweatpants and opened the door, presumably going to the bathroom to change. He slid under the blankets, enjoying the scent of Mark's cologne and the cozy vibe the bed exudes. This was the kind of bed you could lay in all day if you didn't have strong enough willpower to get up. 

A few minutes later, Mark reappeared, shirtless. Ethan blushed strongly, sinking a bit further down under the covers. "This okay?" Mark asked, walking towards the bed and sitting down on the end, eyes flickering towards his dresser. "I can put on a shirt if-" 

"It'sokay" Ethan rushed out, blushing even harder. Mark chuckled, crawling up the bed and under the blankets next to Ethan. "Can we..." 

"Yeah," Mark murmured, blushing a bit now himself. He scooted closer to Ethan, and Ethan wrapped his arms around him, burying his face in his shoulder. Mark chuckled again, letting his hands wander to Ethan's back and start rubbing, letting his face fall into Ethan's hair. 

They were both asleep within minutes. 

**~-~-~-~-~-~**

Mark had made a lot of progress over the next few months; not only in the book, but also mentally and emotionally. He'd figured out a couple characters in the alphabet, moving a bit slower than he'd like since Ethan was in his bed by midnight. That was the breakthrough he needed, though, and by the end of December, he hoped to have it completely done. The crying himself to sleep stopped too, and he only cried twice a week, usually while Ethan was taking a shower. 

Ethan seemed more like his old self every day. He was figuring out what kinds of foods he liked again, his favorite things to do in his spare time, even feeling good enough to make a few videos here and there in Mark's recording room. But he knew he wasn't complete, and that things were still missing. 

So when Bob and Wade were in town, Mark decided to invite the whole group over to play hide and seek, since they never got to that night. 

Ethan didn't like how tentative they were around him, he realized while hiding under Mark's bed, a surprising amount of space left for him to chill. Even though he has amnesia, he's still a good friend, right? 

Right? 

Ethan sighed, tired of having an existential crisis every time he tried to think about something. So instead of thinking, he started poking around under Mark's bed. They should probably clean under here some time; there was enough dust and dog hair to build a whole other Chica. 

After a couple minutes of looking around, Ethan found a shoebox that wasn't dusty at all shoved haphazardly under an old guitar. Ethan pulled it out, flipping the lid, and saw a feather and a book that looked sorta like the Bible. 

How does he know what the Bible looks like? 

"Wait," Ethan murmured aloud, freezing as he heard Mark open the door to look in his room. "Mark, wait, hold on, I'm under here." 

Mark let out a long sigh. "Ethan, hide and seek is where-" 

"I know!" Ethan exclaimed excitedly, finally pushing himself out from under the bed, the feather in hand. "Mark, I remember!" 

His eyes widened, his jaw dropping. "What do you mean, you remember?" 

"I remember everything! I remember us going to the clearing and getting attacked by a demon, I remember doing a backflip to get your attention, I remember it all!" 

Tears started to gather in Mark's eyes, the feeling too familiar. "How do I know you're not just saying that?" 

Ethan smiled softly, standing up and cupping Mark's face in his hands, even though Mark was taller. "You told me that you loved me over Chinese food. And you promised to take me out after we got back." 

Mark laughed, the tears overflowing, pulling Ethan in so that their lips collided. But then he pushed Ethan away. "You asshole!" He said, still laughing. "You put us through all that, I spent days translating that book, and all you had to do was find the feather?" 

"Honestly, if you'd let him go home he would've figured it out, too," a familiar voice said. Mark and Ethan quickly turned to see Maro. Ethan's face broke into a smile. "I've missed you brother, and this has to be the last time I see you. Won't you miss immortality, flying, the guarantee of life on Earth after death?" 

Ethan shook his head, still smiling softly. "No, not really. Now my life has purpose; if I don't do everything I want to do, I won't have a chance. I get to work hard. I get to be human and I think you murdering my back is worth it." 

Maro chuckled slightly. "Fair enough. I'll take my leave; see you two in Heaven." And with that, he was gone. 

Mark turned to Ethan, smiling still. "I still can't believe you picked me, picked us, over everything." 

Ethan smiled in response, leaning in and pecking Mark on the lips, Mark trying to follow him as he pulled away. "But you are my everything."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW that was a bear to write! I loved every second of it though, and this is the LONGEST FIC I've EVER WRITTEN!!! Thank you so much for your patience (took me almost a month, damn, sorry) and hope you enjoy!


	12. Distraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by screamcheese2001: "This was so cute!! Also take your time with requests!! I was wondering if u could do one where ethan starts to feel really self conscious after a joke takes place, ( maybe it could take place during the beauty vid where mark jokingly calls ethan ugly) but mark makes the joke and ethan was already in a bad mood that day so he starts to cry and mark feels awful and comforts him! Thats been on my mind for a while :)"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: self hatred and depression. Be safe bbs, don't read if it'll upset ya <3

Request: "This was so cute!! Also take your time with requests!! I was wondering if u could do one where ethan starts to feel really self conscious after a joke takes place, ( maybe it could take place during the beauty vid where mark jokingly calls ethan ugly) but mark makes the joke and ethan was already in a bad mood that day so he starts to cry and mark feels awful and comforts him! Thats been on my mind for a while :)" 

Requested: 02-13-2020, 9:08 PM EST 

Started: 03-01-2020, 9:50 PM EST 

Finished: 03-12-2020, 7:30 PM EST 

*Trigger warning: self hatred, mentions of depressions. Please don't read if you'll be triggered, a new chapter in this series is coming out on the 16th, so maybe wait for that instead. Love y'all <3* 

**Ethan**

I was already pissed off today, the start of a depressive episode obvious in my head. I can act like I'm fine for the camera, but that doesn't make Mark's next words hurt any less. 

"I'm obviously beautiful, you're obviously hideously ugly," Mark said. Even though I knew it was for the sake of the video, I could feel the tears start welling up in my eyes. Damn it, we've barely started the video! 

I was a lot more sensitive to Mark's torment than he realized. I was usually pretty good about making it until the end of the video, but afterwards, I'd go into the bathroom, run the shower, and just cry for a good half hour. Mark always seemed concerned about it, but he'd just smile and we'd go about our days like nothing ever happened. 

Today was different. This video's point was to try and make me look better than I did. I never really had high self-confidence in the first place, so this video was going to suck. 

Maybe I'll ask to edit this one. 

I just nodded along with what Mark was saying, trying my very hardest to not start crying then and there. C'mon, Ethan, make the video good. Whoever's editing this is gonna have to work hard to save the footage, I could already tell. 

"Not to go off on a tangent, but who'd be a good in-between?" I asked, instilling as much fake happiness into my voice as I could. 

Mark noticed, tilting his head slightly to the side, before replying, "Of us?" 

He searched for another YouTuber, seeming to drop it. Thankfully. The internet-searching gave me a few moments to calm down a little and gather myself, discreetly swiping the tears out of the corners of my eyes. 

I didn't listen to much of what Mark was saying as we looked for someone who looked like both of us, finally settling on Matthias. "Alright, back to the- back to the meat of it," I said, stepping back from the camera a bit. 

Even though I knew it was coming, that didn't make it hurt any less. 

"Yeah, that's not the point. You're fucking ugly!" Mark exclaimed, his voice getting louder as the sentence continued. 

He doesn't mean it, he doesn't mean it, I chanted in my head. Mark wouldn't kiss someone who he thought was ugly. 

But what if he just wanted me to feel better? What if he felt bad that I liked him for so long? It was only once, and he was fairly sleep-deprived. He would've kissed anyone in that situation. He was just touch-starved. He just wanted human contact. 

The tears welled up in my eyes as the thoughts raced through my head. "I know I am, I know I am." 

"I'm beautiful," Mark murmured, almost as an afterthought. The moisture collecting in my eyes finally spilled over, sucky thoughts bombarding my thoughts. Even though they're sucky, they're probably true. Almost positively true. 

My knees felt weak. Probably sick of holding up all the bullshit that I do. Why am I like this? Why can't I just be normal? Why can't I just be the slightest bit attractive, 'more than friends' with one person? And my shitty personality doesn't even make up for how ugly I am! 

"Ethan?" Mark asked quietly. The red light that showed the camera was on was off, the light above Mark's monitor distorting the colors in my eyes, seeing small suns everywhere. "Are you okay?" 

A small sob escaped my mouth and I slapped a hand over my mouth, the tears immediately making my hand wet. "I'm sorry," I choked out, the words practically unintelligible through my hand. Mark knew me well enough at this point, though, that he didn't even need to wonder what I was saying. 

Mark wrapped me up in a hug, and I let myself go, collapsing into his arms and burying my face in his shoulder. I became a third-person spectator, just like I always did during a breakdown. Like it's happening to someone else, anyone other than me. 

Even though I know, deep down, that I deserve it. 

Mark and I were just friends, he'd made that very clear. But he'd seen me in a breakdown once before, he saw how I needed to be touch, and his cologne was making my knees weak, so I let him sweep me off my feet into a bridal carry, listened to him muttering 'sweet nothings' into my ear as he carried me toward the couch. "Blanket? Sweatshirt? I'm sorry, Ethan, you shouldn't be sorry." 

Him mentioning my name made me choke into his shoulder, my thought process rushing from spectator to holy shit this is happening to me. Really fast. Why would he be sorry? 

Mark set me down on the couch, putting his hands on my shoulders and staring into my eyes with concern. "What do you need, Eth?" 

I hiccupped, barely managing to whisper, "You, blankets, water." 

He nodded with determination. "I'm gonna go away for a second to get water and blankets, is that okay?" After I nodded, he rushed away. He probably just didn't want me to do something drastic. He's such a good person. 

Why would he care about someone like me? It just really doesn't make sense at all. Sure, he'd made sure we didn't do many shirtless videos after I told him I wasn't comfortable, but that was just because he didn't want to see any more of my stupid self than he had to. 

It seemed so obvious to me. Why didn't anyone else realize how shitty I was? 

Mark walked back into the room, blankets draped over one arm and a glass of water in the other. "It's okay, Eth, you're okay, I'm sorry." He handed me the glass and I immediately tipped it back, ignoring the salty tinge. A moment later he swept the empty glass out of my hand, setting it down gently on the coffee table before covering me with the blanket. "Can I come under the blanket with you?" 

I nodded, using the edge of the blanket to wipe the remaining tears off my face. I could feel the numbness settling back over me, thicker than the blanket. So he did, slipping under the blanket next to me and letting his hand rest on mine. 

"I didn't mean it, I was just messing around for the video," he murmured, and I sighed, laying my head on his shoulder. 

"You're not wrong," I whispered, and his head snapped up. He looked at me, cocking his head to the side. "You're not wrong, Mark, I am fucking ugly." 

He flinched at the words, even though he was the one saying them moments ago. "Ethan, I swear you're not. No one thinks you're ugly, Eth, I promise you." 

I sighed, rolling my eyes. He couldn't convince me. There was literally no way. The sun rises in the east, the sky's blue, I'm ugly; it's just a fact of life. "It's a subjective term, Mark." 

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I'm the one beholding you right now," Mark shot back. I shook my head at his words, smiling slightly. "Besides, you're one of the cutest people I've ever seen." 

Rolling my eyes again, I replied, "You can only see the outside part, not the inside part. Even if I were HYPOTHETICALLY cute on the outside," I said, emphasizing 'hypothetically', "the inside is gross and stupid and annoying and dumb." 

Mark didn't say anything, his hand flipping mine over and entwining our fingers. I squeezed his hand gently, and he squeezed back. "I don't know how to convince you, but I'll never in a million years believe you." 

"How would you know that I'm not actually so good at hiding who I really am that I fooled you into thinking you like me, but it's just the front I put on? There's no possible way for you to know, Mark." 

His other hand turned my face away from the TV and towards his, our faces only inches apart. "Ethan, I've seen you years ago. I've seen you when you're vulnerable like this, I've seen you when you honestly don't know what's going on, I've seen you on a tour bus when you just woke up, I've seen you after I kiss you. Around me at least, you're your authentic self, because all the times I mentioned are consistent." 

"Touche," I murmured, not really able to form thoughts. His stubble, his eyes, his everything were a great distraction, a surprising flicker of hope fluttering to life in my chest. 

It took a few moments for his words to sink in. "Wait," I said, and Mark backed away a little. "What'd you say about kissing me?" 

His face immediately went red. "Nothing." 

I didn't have the energy to pry, so I just let my head fall onto his shoulder. He rested his head on top of mine, and if I didn't know better, I could've sworn Mark pressed a tiny kiss into my hair. "Did you want me to do it again?" He asked after a moment, his voice wavering slightly. 

"If you're only doing it to try and get me in a better mood, then no," I replied pointedly, squeezing his hand again. 

"Am I allowed to do it if that's only part of the reason?" 

I rolled my eyes, a small smile on my face. As I lifted my head off his shoulder, I replied, "Just kiss me, you idiot." 

And he did, my eyes fluttering shut as he testingly pressed his lips to mine. I could feel the rush of endorphins flowing through my body. Someone as hot as Mark wouldn't kiss me if he thought I was ugly. And he's right, he's seen me too off guard to hide much from him. 

He pulled away after a moment, cocking his head to the side. "Feel any better?" 

"A little," I admitted breathlessly. "Can we just watch a movie and chill for a while? Then we can start filming that video for real." 

"Sounds good to me," he murmured, not-so-subtly putting his arm around my neck as I grabbed the remote and put a random movie on the TV. 

I let my head fall onto his shoulder, my eyes drifting shut as his other hand started petting my hair. I barely paid attention to the movie, falling into a light, relaxed sleep. 

I might not feel much better overall, but he sure is a good distraction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This got a bit ranty, but that's alright. I'm not in the best place mentally, but I'll get through it. Hope you enjoyed, and I'll see you all on the 16th!


	13. Cover Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by softboiswede:

Request: "I’d love to make a request! how about them being in a secret relationship for quite some time, but some kind of slip up (getting caught marking out, or something like that) outes them to their friends? <3" 

Requested: 02-17-2020, 11:55 AM EST 

Started: 02-29-2020, 4:40 PM EST 

Finished: 02-29-2020, 10:35 PM EST 

**Ethan**

Mark had gone to VidCon. Without me. 

To be fair, I was sick, and they didn't want me to suffer through all that traffic and all those crowds because of 'health concerns', but still! I'm his boyfriend! 

His secret boyfriend... so that's probably why he didn't want to stay behind. Didn't want to get anyone suspicious. 

Both of us were happy being in a secret relationship. Once one person knows, you've basically told the whole world. No one knows, not even our parents, but that just makes it so much more special. He doesn't have to care about what other people think about it (even if he says he doesn't care, deep down, he really does), and he doesn't have to worry that I'm worried about what other people think. 

That didn't make sense, not even to myself, but my brain was so clouded with thoughts of Mark that I didn't really care to try and get that train of thought back. When you've been in a relationship for almost six months, it gets a little hard to go for a long time without seeing who you're dating. But Mark should be here any second now, and we had plans to spend the rest of the day... catching up. 

The door creaked open, jolting me out of my train of thought. I smiled towards the small strip of light, seeing Mark's shadowed face. "I'm not sick anymore, you don't have to act like you need a hazmat suit," I murmured jokingly. 

He chuckled slightly, opening the door wide enough for him to slip through. "I missed you, Eth." 

"I missed you too, dummy," I breathed. Mark sat down next to me on the bed, capturing me in a passionate kiss. "Tell me about VidCon." 

Instead of telling me about VidCon, he broke the kiss to pull at the bottom of my shirt. "Or tell me later, that's fine too," I said, pouting slightly. 

Mark chuckled, tugging my shirt completely off and working on the buttons on his. "It was boring without you there. Sean got confronted by a super fan." 

"That's crazy," I breathed, tugging on Mark's shoulders and kissing him again. 

"Mark?" A familiar voice called, knocking on the door. Speak of the devil. I pulled away, looking panickedly at Mark. He shrugged, eyes wide. I shoved my shirt under the blanket and ran into his bathroom, letting the door slide shut and flicking the light on. I winced as it creaked, the light still able to shine under the door. If this gives us away, I swear to God- 

"How the hell are you in my house?" Mark asked, still sounding a bit breathless. 

"You gave me a key in case I ever was in town and needed it," Sean said through the door. It was hard to make out what he was saying through the double layer of doors. "Can I come in?" 

Mark groaned slightly, before replying, "Yeah." 

The door opened, the creak so loud I could hear it through the door. Mark needs to oil his door hinges once in a while. "Holy- oh my God, I'm so sorry," Sean apologized, the door creaking again. I imagined that Sean was probably taking in Mark's shirtless form hidden under the blanket and putting the pieces together. Probably putting them together in the wrong order, but at least he has the idea. "I'm- I'll just leave, Mark, I-" 

"No, it's fine," Mark said, sighing. "You're already here, so what's up?" 

"I just wondering if you wanted to collab before I left, I probably could've texted, I'll just come back tomorrow," He rambled, and I tried to suppress a laugh. Mark literally did a naked calendar, and Sean's super freaked out just to see him shirtless. 

"Sean, it's literally fine," Mark assured him, laughing slightly. "You're still in town for three more days, right?" It was silent for a moment, so I just assumed that Sean had nodded. "So yeah, if you came back tomorrow, that'd be great." 

"Okay," he replied, a hint of mischief in his voice. "See ya tomorrow. And whoever's in the bathroom, have fun doing whatever you and Mark were gonna do." 

My hand flew to my mouth. I couldn't tell if I was going to laugh or die. Probably both. I waited until the door creaked shut again, listening carefully for the dull thud of Sean going down the stairs. 

Letting out my breath, I opened the door, Mark still laying under the blanket. We made eye contact for a moment, before both bursting out into laughter at the same time. "Dude, we were so close to getting caught," I said, my words hard to understand because I was laughing so hard. 

After I calmed down a bit, Mark cocked his head to the side. "Do you still wanna... y'know?" He asked softly. 

"Depends," I said, shrugging and smiling. "Do you want either of us to be able to walk tomorrow? I mean, since we have to go collab with Sean." 

"Whoever said either of us needed to walk?" He asked, a cheeky smile on his face. 

And, just because I could, I kissed it away. 

**~-~-~-~-~-~**

Making each other unable to walk was a bad idea. 

I woke up tangled in Mark's sheets, the light filtering through the window and making the sheets translucent. A smattering of dark hickies were scattered all over my neck, collarbone, and jaw, too dark to even cover with makeup. My throat ached, each breath burning slightly. When I tried to examine the damage lower down, I winced, pushing myself up onto my elbow. I lifted the sheets, sucking a breath in through my teeth. Bruises were scattered on the insides of my thighs, and five bruises in the shape of fingerprints were mirrored on both hips. 

Thankfully, as I looked over to Mark, the damage seemed a lot lighter. Though he still had a plethora of bruises, a lot of them were coverable with the average shirt. I'd have to wear a turtleneck, and it'd still leave a good amount uncovered. 

I nudged his shoulder, disturbing his peaceful looking sleep. "Mark," I hissed, shaking his shoulder. "You've gotta wake up." 

His eyes fluttered open, immediately turning to look at me. His eyes widened, a hand coming up to cover his mouth. "Fuck," he murmured, his eyes raking over my bruised body. "How the hell did that even happen?" 

We hadn't seen each other for a week, how'd he expect everything to just be normal? "We hadn't seen each other for a week, obviously we were gonna fuck the shit out of each other," I groaned, pushing myself up on my elbows. The new angle made my lower back ache. 

"How is it still today?" He asked, pushing himself up to a sitting position. The alarm clock on 'my side of the bed' read 5:04. 

I wordlessly groaned, letting my head fall back to hit the soft pillow. "I don't think I can move, Mark, this was a bad idea," I whined. "How are we gonna be able to do the collab with Sean if I literally can't stand up?" 

"Try," he urged, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and slowly standing up. Though he winced in pain, he was at least able to stand. "And if you can't, I'll carry you." 

Using mostly my arms, I pushed myself towards the edge of the bed and tried to stand, immediately falling to the floor. "This isn't fair, I topped more than you did," I said. 

Mark slowly walked over to my side of the bed, picking me up bridal style. "I'm rougher, though," he reminded me, and I sighed, leaning into his chest. "Shower?" 

"Yes please," I murmured. 

Since Mark was the only one capable of anything, he helped me get cleaned up, ordered a pizza, and changed the sheets. We fell asleep again shortly after, and his marks were beginning to fade. "Why are you so rough when you top?" I asked. Mark was able to walk without a problem, but I could walk at a snail's pace at best. 

"It's just my style," he said teasingly, throwing some backup clothes I kept at his house for when I stayed over towards me. "Come on, Tyler'll be here any minute now." 

Since everyone was in town because of VidCon, today was packed full of collabs, including a Markiplier Makes, a video for my channel, and a couple improv bits that Mark and I would divide up. "Don't I have a spare turtleneck here?" 

"Nope!" Mark replied cheerfully, reopening his closet. "That's at your place. I probably have a spare one, if you want, but there's concealer in the bathroom if you don't." 

"I'll just take the concealer," I replied, pulling on a pair of boxers and slipping on my go-to button-up. He nodded, shutting the closet and rushing downstairs as the sound of the doorbell rang through the house. With a sigh, I slipped into some skinny jeans and tried to apply the concealer the best I could to the bruises left uncovered by the shirt. Maybe I should just grab a hoodie. 

Finally deeming myself presentable, I went down the steps slowly, seeing everybody sitting in the dining room; Tyler, Bob, Wade, Amy, Kathryn, and, of course, Sean. He looked me up and down, his jaw dropping slightly. 

As Mark walked back into the room, a case of water in his hands, Sean asked, "Why didn't you tell me, Mark?" 

"Tell you what? And this should be enough water, right?" Mark replied, looking to me for confirmation. I nodded, finding a seat next to Tyler, waving at him slightly. I didn't trust my voice yet, my throat still sore from yesterday's... activities. 

I wasn't sure what to do, since I didn't feel like I could talk; everybody was chatting amongst themselves, but things seemed quieter as Sean responded, "That you're fucking Ethan?" 

Everybody went silent, and Mark chuckled slightly, getting a bit red. 

Shit. 

Don't blow our cover, I willed silently. "Um, excuse me?" Mark asked, grabbing a bottle of water out of the case. I followed his lead, uncapping the bottle and wincing slightly as I swallowed. 

Sean looked around the room. "Why did none of you tell me? I mean, you're being fairly obvious about it, so why not just tell me?" 

Amy cocked her head to the side, looking at Sean. "What do you mean, they're... having sex?" She hesitated slightly, refusing to say 'fucking', and I chuckled slightly. 

"And what do you mean, it's obvious? There's nothing obvious to see," Tyler chimed in, looking me up and down questioningly. I merely shrugged, taking a sip of water. 

Sean laughed in annoyance. "Don't play dumb, guys. Have you ever tried to cover up a hickie with makeup?" He stood, walking towards me; I gulped as he dragged a finger down my neck, smearing the concealer and revealing the fading hickie. I looked over at Mark helplessly, who merely sipped his water. His wide eyes seemed to say, 'just cover it up'. 

Ironic, because anything I've tried to 'cover-up' today hasn't worked. 

"He walks down here like he has a backache," he continued, "and... nevermind, I won't mention yesterday." 

Mark breathed out a sigh of relief, which probably just seemed like a sigh to everyone else. "He's allowed to have a backache, he's allowed to have hickies, and it doesn't have to mean we're sleeping together! Besides, am I not allowed to leave my bathroom light on?" 

With a roll of his eyes, Sean said, "Well then why hasn't Ethan said a single word to defend himself? C'mon, Ethan, stand up for yourself!" 

Even though I knew Mark was silently willing me not to, I replied, "Obviously, we're not sleeping together." 

My voice came out scratchy, and Mark let his head fall down on the table. "You suck at this, Eth," he muttered, and everyone started talking at once. 

"I knew it!" Sean exclaimed, while Wade asked, "How long?" 

I motioned for Mark to answer, taking another burning sip of water. Mark tried desperately to keep everything private, but it was kinda hard to think about what you were saying when six people were yelling at you at once. 

"How did you hide a relationship for six months?!" Tyler asked in awe, turning to look at me. 

I shrugged, swallowing another sip of water. "Well, we didn't fuck the shit out of each other this bad for the first six months, so don't do that when you have plans the next day, I guess."


	14. I Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by Good_god_I'm_Fucked_up: "Hey, could you do a really really angsty story. Like during their Unus Annus Hypnotherapist episode where they find out that Ethan struggles or struggled with self-harm and Mark ends up comforting Ethan afterwards. If you aren't comfortable writing about self-harm then anything like depression or self-hatred or anything of that nature would be good also. Thank you so much. ;-)"

Request: "Hey, could you do a really really angsty story. Like during their Unus Annus Hypnotherapist episode where they find out that Ethan struggles or struggled with self-harm and Mark ends up comforting Ethan afterwards. If you aren't comfortable writing about self-harm then anything like depression or self-hatred or anything of that nature would be good also. Thank you so much. ;-)" 

Requested: 02-23-2020, 11:30 PM EST 

Started: 03-14-2020, 8:30 AM EST 

Finished: 03-21-2020, 12:15 AM EST 

*Trigger warning: this oneshot contains the following: graphic description of self-harm; discussion of self-harm; slight bit of angst. If you are triggered from the angst resulting from self-harm topics, or the self-harm topics themselves, please do not read this chapter. New content will be out soon for you to read instead. Thank you <3* 

**Ethan**

"Hypnotherapy is what I do," Liza said, starting to explain what it was. I tuned out a bit, already knowledgable about the topic from my own therapist explaining it. This chair was comfortable, I noticed, shifting slightly and trying to relax. 

A futile effort, as always. 

Did I seriously just think the word 'futile' in a sentence that makes sense? How come every time something angsty or depressing comes up in my life, my brain suddenly becomes eloquent? 

There I am again with the big words! What is UP with me today? 

I tuned back in as her voice became questioning, only catching the tail end. "...be hypnotized?" She asked. I hummed like I was thinking, letting Mark answer the question. 

"Not if they don't want to." 

"Exactly," she replied. "Why? Because hypnosis is consent. Have you ever seen a lemon?" 

"Yeah," we agreed. 

"Especially lately," Liza said mysteriously. 

I wanted to question her, but she beat me to it, asking a couple of questions about the lemon, and a few other baselines. "I'm a little scared," I murmured. I felt a burn in my wrists, my thighs, even my stomach. Like someone had squirted lemon juice into an open wound. 

"What, of a lemon?" She asked. We made eye contact for something I knew was a second, but it seemed like an hour. As Liza stared deep into my soul searching for an answer, I knew she was a good therapist. 

Maybe too good. 

"No, of you!" I said, Mark chuckling slightly on the floor by my side. I honestly forgot he was there for a minute. 

"Alright, are you ready to start?" Mark and I both nodded, and Liza started guiding us through the exercise. 

She told us to imagine ourselves in a kitchen, about to prepare the lemon to... eat. Weird, I know, but the exercise was pretty straightforward. 

However, my emotions were not. As everyone could tell, I was an open book. I didn't really need to talk to a therapist to open up (though it helped) because people could tell what was wrong with me from a glance. 

I honestly don't know how Mark hadn't figured it out yet. I gave out so many signs, not to mention the literal physical scars. Amy had tried her best to shield her eyes, but even she had gently asked about the harsh scars on my inner arm, my thighs, some on my torso. 

And Mark was the one touching me naked! 

Why can't I be a normal person for two seconds and not think weird thoughts? 

That wasn't important, I realized, starting to shiver. What was important was the fact that therapists went to college for a long time to be able to read people, and she was going to bring it up. She didn't even have to bring me into hypnosis to figure out something important about me. About my mental health. A secret I tried (and failed) to keep. 

I wasn't surprised when she stopped us. 

I looked at Mark quizically, playing dumb. Trying to, at least. I'm sure the fear in my eyes gave it away. I wasn't ready for Mark to know. It'd change things, I knew it would. We wouldn't joke around the same. He wouldn't be himself around me. 

"Ethan, do you have anything you want to say before we start the exercise for real?" Liza asked testingly. My therapist used this all the time. She didn't like to force things out of me, wanting me to admit things myself and accept myself through talking about my depression. 

That was REALLY corny. 

"No, not really," I replied. Mark looked at me, confused. I merely shook my head, smiling softly down at him. 

"Though my main goal is hypnosis, this is still a therapy session, so please be honest." Amy turned off the camera with a click, and she looked at me with concern. Guess I lost this round. 

My normal therapist is going to riot when she hears this. 

"I will, if you get more specific with what you're asking." 

"Can I touch you?" She shifted slightly in her seat, not quite standing but ready to get up at any moment. She sprang up with surprising agility and cleared the short distance between our chairs, gently taking my arm in her hand and pulling up the sleeves of my sweatshirt. 

White, semi-healed scars ran up the lengths of my arm. Liza tutted, turning my arm slightly to show Mark. "We might have to turn this into a real therapy session before we begin the hypnotherapy." She gently set my arm back down on the arm of the chair, and I quickly yanked the sleeve back down. My face burned. I'd been clean for so long. 

Three months was a long time, in my opinion. 

It was hard. I wanted to relapse almost every day in the beginning. But then Mark and I started Unus Annus, and even though it was a lot of hard work, I'd never been happier. I really felt good. I didn't have to fake emotion on camera, I felt comfortable being myself around people, and I got to try things I always wanted to do with some of my best friends. 

But any time I tried to tell anyone that, they didn't listen. 

"Would you like to sit down, Amy?" Liza asked. "We have a chair that Mark refuses to sit in because it wasn't in frame, but now that the camera's turned off I don't think it'll be a problem." 

"Uh, yeah, sure," Amy said, quickly walking over and plopping herself down in the chair. 

We sat in silence for a good minute or two; Liza trying to catch my eye, me staring into my lap, and Mark and Amy sharing worried glances. But, like all good things, it had to come to an end at some point. "Ethan, why?" 

Mark's broken voice made my heart ache. I looked down at him for a moment, fingers still knotting anxiously in my lap. His eyes were the slightest bit watery, filled with sadness. Guilt. Confusion. Three emotions I knew too well. 

"Can we talk about this later?" I asked, looking away from Mark and back at Liza. "I think we should just continue the video and then talk about it afterward." 

"This is a therapy session, with a trained professional, and-" 

I cut Liza off in a quiet voice, but she stopped immediately. "I don't feel comfortable talking about it. I know that the point of therapy is to get out of your comfort zone, and I already go to a therapist outside of this, but I just don't feel comfortable talking about it." 

My brain was weird with therapy. I could accept a few things, get myself to change my mental attitude in certain ways. For example, I wasn't ashamed saying that I wasn't comfortable with something. I wasn't afraid to be myself on camera. At least, not anymore. But there were some things I just couldn't grasp. It was easy to say something out loud, but it was hard to think it. I still don't think I'm worthy of all this concern. It's not a big deal. 

But, once again, they don't know any of that. Which makes things infinitely harder. 

Liza let me win this round, raising her hands. "Alright. I'm okay with continuing the video if they are." 

And so we did. 

**~-~-~-~-~-~**

**Mark**

"I'm gonna head home with Ethan," I murmured to Amy, helping her pack up the camera. 

"I figured, Mark. They look old, but I'm still worried about him," she replied, in an equally soft tone. "Do anything to get him feeling better. Show him that he's loved." I raised an eyebrow at her, and she chuckled quietly. "Yes, you have permission to... like... kiss and stuff." 

Amy mumbled the last part, but I smiled widely, standing up and quickly pecking her lips. "Thank you," I said. 

She waved me off, the tiniest smile appearing on her lips. "Yeah, yeah, just brush your teeth before you kiss me." 

I laughed, walking off and out of the building, towards Ethan's car. His head was laying on his steering wheel, and even though he was kinda far away, I already knew that his knuckles were clenching the wheel so hard they were turning white. 

When I knocked on the window of his car, he jumped up, panicked expression morphing to a small smile as he rolled down the window. "'Sup?" 

"Can I go home with you?" I asked quickly, skipping all formalities. "I feel like we need to talk." 

He blinked at me before nodding, unlocking the doors to his car. I jogged over to the passenger's side, shutting the door forcefully and clicking my seatbelt into place. "Hey, don't break my car, Mark!" 

"Ethan," I said, sounding like a tired mom who'd told her child the same thing thirty times. "Don't break yourself." 

Ethan puffed out a breath of air, jamming the key into the ignition and twisting it. The engine roared to life, and as he backed out of his parking space, he replied, "I don't break myself. I haven't broken myself for three months, Mark. I'm better now." 

"I'm still worried about you." 

He let my words drop off without a response, the car flooding with near silence. Other cars wooshed as they passed by. Water that collected in the road's worn down spots sprayed upward as the tires hit it. 

Things were peaceful, I realized. The world outside this car didn't care about our struggles. It didn't care about what I thought, what Ethan thought, what either of us did... 

I guess it's sorta comforting. Even if I mess this up, the world will go on. And so I spoke again. "Do you wanna talk about it?" 

Ethan let out a long sigh, turning right carefully. His actions contrasted his mood beautifully; he gently wove his way through the LA traffic, but he exuded tense energy. "Not particularly, no. But you're gonna make me talk about it anyways, because of those stupid puppy-dog eyes, so go ahead. Ask away, Markimoo." 

"Why?" 

He shrugged, eyes flicking to me for a second before they went back to the road. I shifted in my seat, waiting for his response. I don't want to pressure him. He shouldn't have to answer if he doesn't want to. This was a bad idea. 

"It makes me feel good," he said. Though his voice was quiet, small, shaky, his words filled up the entire car. 

I cleared my throat. "Why not... anything else? Any other way to cope?" 

Ethan shrugged again. "Started in the winter. It was easy to hide under sweatshirts and sweatpants, and it was cheap, so I just... did it. Summer came around but no one really noticed. That kinda egged me on, I guess. Thought no one cared enough to notice that I was hurting myself, so I hurt myself even more. It makes me happy. Do you want Starbucks?" 

"Sure," I replied, and he turned left. "Eth, I'm sorry that none of us ever noticed. I guess I just thought you were happy, so it wasn't something I was looking for." 

"I know." 

I paid for our drinks, even as Ethan protested. The conversation was light as we drove back to his house, and as I held the door for him, I caught a glimpse of a silvery scar under his sweatshirt sleeve. 

As we sat on his couch, sipping our coffee, I gently asked, "You know that I care about you, right?" 

He downed a gulp of his iced coffee, nodding slightly. "I guess so." At my cocked eyebrow, he continued, "It's not really solidified in my mind. I mean, people can say anything they want, with as much emotion as they want, and sometimes I just don't feel like sifting through their words to find out if they mean it or not." 

"How about when people show you that they care about you?" 

Ethan shrugged, taking another sip of his coffee. "Yeah, I guess that works. Just being there for me, hanging out, understanding me. It means a lot." 

I smiled slightly, an idea already forming in my head. "You shower in the evenings, right?" After a nod from Ethan, my smile grew, and I continued, "You go grab a shower, and I'll comfy this place up and put on a movie. Sound okay?" 

"Sounds great," Ethan replied, returning my smile. In that split-second I noticed the bags under his eyes, exhaustion shining through in his hazel irises. "I'll be right back, help yourself to anything in the kitchen." 

"Okay." 

And with that, Ethan dashed up the stairs, his iced coffee forgotten on his end table. I lifted the drink and put a coaster under it with a fond sigh. Ethan never used coasters. Every time I told him to, he'd laugh and call me old fashioned. 

It's not time's fault that wood can get stained. 

I hummed quietly as I walked through his house, gathering what I needed to set things up. A comfortable blanket from his guest bedroom, a few pillows off of his bed. I poked my head into another room, sorta forgetting that he had a roommate, seeing Kathryn on the computer. "Hey, Kat!" I exclaimed, and she looked up, slightly surprised. 

"Hey, Mark! What're you doing here?" 

My eyes narrowed slightly. There's no way that she didn't know. "Well, Eth and I went to a hypnotherapist for Unus Annus, and we found out that he cut." 

She cocked her head to the side, a small look of confusion on her face. "Cut as in his wrists?" 

"Yeah." 

Kathryn shook her head, chuckling slightly. "Nah, not Ethan. No way." I stood there, stone-faced, and her enthusiasm shrunk. "Seriously?" 

"Kat, this isn't something I'd joke about. I'll let you talk to him about it when I leave, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna end up staying the night here. We're planning on watching a movie and then conking out." 

"Uh, well, okay," she replied, slowly shaking her head. "It's just... hard to think about, you know? Even around here, he's never really been... depressed." 

I sighed. "I know. Sorry you had to find out from me. See ya around." 

"Yeah, see ya," she replied. I ducked out of her room, carrying my bounty down to the living room and arranging what looked like a torn-down fort on Ethan's couch. The minute I picked up the remote and started turning on the TV, Ethan bounded down the stairs, his hair still slightly wet and a small smile on his face. 

"What're we watching?" he asked, sorta out of breath. I chuckled slightly, patting the couch next to me. When he took it in, he snorted slightly, but settled down nonetheless, pulling one blanket over both of us. 

"Can't remember what it's called, but it's rated pretty good," I murmured, carefully settling an arm around his neck. "This okay?" 

"Yeah," he breathed, his face turning slightly pink. Ethan settled his head on my shoulder as I clicked play on the movie, a cheesy intro song blaring through the TV speakers. 

He became more entrapped in the movie by the second, and I smiled softly down at him. I was the complete opposite, focused completely on him. How could I focus on anything else when I could feel each beat of his heart, when each breath he pushed out tickled my neck? He looked up at me at a slow point in the movie, smiling as well. 

"I love you so much, Eth," I murmured, and his smile became sort of sad. The movie was long forgotten as tears started to gather in his eyes. 

"I know," he said softly, his voice breaking. The tears dripped down his cheeks, and I gently rubbed them away with my thumb. "I know now. I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I just project my self-harm onto Ethan and how I wish someone would deal with it onto Mark? Maybe-  
> On a serious note, please, dear reader, don't kill yourself. I'll know. I'll miss you. The bug you saw the other day will miss you. Your pets/family's pets will miss you, even if your family won't. Your teachers will miss you. I'll miss you. I love you.  
> Stay safe out there.  
> -Ray.


	15. I Thought We Were Straight*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by Haley Puckett: "Maybe something where Mark and "Amie" go through a harsh break up, putting Mark down in a sad state. It effects his channel aswell as Unus Annus so Ethan, as the caring friend he is, does everything to restore their channel and his friend. Mark graciously takes his friend's care but begins to feel something he's never felt. He's not gay right?, he asks himself...making a testing move, he not only awakens something within him (his love for his friend), but in Ethan aswell. Smut included?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains smut. Read at your own risk.

Request: "Maybe something where Mark and "Amie" go through a harsh break up, putting Mark down in a sad state. It effects his channel aswell as Unus Annus so Ethan, as the caring friend he is, does everything to restore their channel and his friend. Mark graciously takes his friend's care but begins to feel something he's never felt. He's not gay right?, he asks himself...making a testing move, he not only awakens something within him (his love for his friend), but in Ethan aswell. Smut included?" 

Requested: 02-26-2020, 7:12 PM EST 

Started: 03-18-2020, 10:15 PM EST 

Finished: 03-25-2020, 2:30 PM EST 

**Mark**

I messed up. 

I really didn't know that saying that to her would set her off like that. I don't blame her; I probably should've told her from the beginning. But still. If it wasn't important enough to warrant a conversation, I don't really think it's a big enough deal to destroy an entire, loving relationship. 

"It doesn't matter what I think," I told myself, staring up at the ceiling. "Nothing really matters anymore." 

My phone buzzed with another notification, the text tone Ethan'd set when he swiped my phone ringing out through the room. 'Fergalicious, definition, make them boys go loco.' It was enduring at first, coaxing a tiny smile out of me, but now it was just plain annoying. I rolled over onto my side, grabbing my phone from off the bedside. Just to make sure he wasn't dying or anything. 

'hello?' I ignored the frantic barrage of the recent texts, scrolling up a bit to see what he'd asked in the first place. 'wanna get sushi for lunch?' 

That was yesterday. 

I quickly typed out a response. 'Sorry, didn't get up to see ur text. We can go today if you still want to' 

His texting bubble popped up almost immediately, and I chuckled slightly. No one texts faster than a pissed off Ethan. 'mark, I'm literally driving to your house to make sure that you're not dead. i'm worried about you man, you canceled our recording session and you haven't been uploading. u okay?' 

'Key's under the pot next to the door' I texted in response, ignoring his question. With a groan, I pushed myself up into a sitting position, getting slightly dizzy. I'd been laying down for God knows how long. If I'm being honest, I didn't even know what day it was. 

I should probably get on some clothes, I told myself. But I didn't move. My eyes bored a hole into my lap and the sweatpants I'd been wearing for weeks. Why did I have to say that? Why couldn't I have said it differently, or earlier? Does she feel empty too? Does she miss me at all? Did she move into her new house okay? 

I guess it shouldn't really matter to me anymore. 

It does. 

A knock at my bedroom door lulls me out of my train of thought. "Mark?" Ethan's voice called from the other side of the door. "Can I come in?" 

I tried to speak, but only a croak came out. My voice was hoarse from disuse and lack of water, but I was finally able to spit out, "Yeah." 

He opened the door, his jaw dropping as soon as he saw me. I'd probably have the same reaction. Fairly neat room, no laundry in the basket; me trying to shield my eyes from the small amount of natural light coming in from the doorway; my clothes crinkled and reeking of sweat and tears, my hair disheveled, and my glasses dirty only on the inside. 

"Mark, what happened?" Ethan asked, letting the door fall shut as he walked towards me. "It's been in the news, and people are starting to get worried. Did you and Amy really break up?" 

My head sagged a bit lower, and that was all the answer he needed. He plopped himself down on the bed beside me, and my head immediately went to rest on his shoulder. Ethan's lithe hand came up to my head, gently raking his fingers through my hair as he asked, "Mark, when was the last time you did... anything?" 

I laughed dryly, my throat still slightly sore. It came out more like a bark from a dog than a laugh. "I dunno, Eth. I was fine at the beginning, but it started going downhill so fast once she actually left. Probably three days ago." 

"You've just been laying here?" 

I lifted my head off his shoulder with some difficulty, looking at him. "I've dranken water, taken my meds, eaten part of a granola bar I keep in my room for lazy days, and then just laid here, yeah." 

His eyes flooded with concern. "Doesn't it get lonely?" 

I laughed again, and he wordlessly pulled me into a hug. The laugh died in my throat as his arms wrapped around my torso and hugged me tightly, his cologne overpowering my senses. "Me and Mika splitting up sucked ass, I can't even imagine what you're going through," Ethan whispered, his breath tickling my ear. 

It felt so nice to be held, to be loved. The lack of everything physical over the last week or so has been a killer, so when I started to tear up, I wasn't surprised. 

The only thing I was surprised about was how nice it was to not feel numb. Even sadness is better than numbness. 

"Oh, Mark, I'm so sorry," he murmured, his shoulder starting to dampen. "It's gonna be okay, you're okay." 

My breath hitched in my throat, and I buried my face in his shoulder, blush starting to rise to my cheeks. This is so embarrassing. Why do I have to be like this? Why? 

His hand resumed its motion in my hair, and he let me stay there for a while, quietly sniffling into his shoulder. "I'm sorry," I said, my voice breaking for a moment, and he chuckled, fingers still running through my hair. 

"No need to be sorry, but let's get you back on track, huh? Film a little update for your channel, maybe film a few collabs to upload later? I can do the update while you shower," he suggested, and I nodded. 

With much less difficulty I raised my head, smiling weakly at him. "Yes please, Eth. Thank you." 

He patted my shoulder, a smile on his face. "Anytime." 

**~-~-~-~-~-~**

My hair was still damp when I saw Ethan sitting at my recording station, looking like he belonged there. "I'm almost finished watching the video," he said, not even looking up from the computer. "Do you wanna watch it before it gets uploaded?" 

"Sure." 

He added a few finishing touches before standing up and displaying my chair with a flourish. I couldn't help but smile slightly, pressing play in the mini-player in the top right corner. 

Ethan's face appeared in front of the screen, a small smile on his face. He cleared his throat, starting off with, "No, you're not on the wrong channel. I'm Ethan, from Crankgameplays. Mark isn't here right now. Amy and him just broke up, and he's not really in the best headspace. I'm gonna be staying with him for a while, helping him get back on track. Unus Annus uploads are gonna be fine, we have a lot of videos saved up, but don't expect regular uploads on this channel for the next month or so. I know this is short, but I figured I'd update you guys. Thank you for your support, and we'll see you in the next video." With a small smile, the video ended. 

I looked up to Ethan, who had his head cocked to the side. "I hope it wasn't too forward of me to just invite myself over, but-" 

"Please stay," I murmured, cutting him off. "I can't stand being alone." 

He softly smiled down at me. "Thanks, Mark. We could probably play a few games of Uno, or Mario Kart, or really anything, if you want. For content." 

"Sounds good to me." 

**~-~-~-~-~-~**

I turned off the camera with a content sigh, glancing over to Ethan. "Good game, Eth," I murmured, and he smiled. 

"Who are you, and what have you done with Mark?" Ethan asked teasingly, setting his controller down on my desk. 

"'M tired." 

Ethan chuckled softly. "Fair enough. Do you want me to stay the night?" 

I merely nodded, and his smile widened. He stood up from his chair, extending a hand out to me. 

The action was simple. He probably did it without even thinking. But it made my heart flutter. Why'd it make my heart flutter? I brushed it off, his hand slipping into mine so naturally. 

What's wrong with me? Why am I getting all... weird... all of a sudden? 

Ethan pulled me to my feet, a silly smile on his face. "C'mon, Mark, let's go! I gotta get the guest bedroom all set up, got any blankets I can borrow?" 

A blush rose to my cheeks, and Ethan noticed, stopping in the middle of the hallway. "I, uh, was wondering if you'd sleep with- in my bed," I said at the last moment. Jesus Christ, what the hell is wrong with me? 

Ethan chuckled, his cheeks turning slightly red. "Yeah, sure. Can I grab a shower real quick?" 

"Yeah, need to borrow some clothes?" His cheeks got a bit redder as he wordlessly nodded. "Okay, I'll grab some stuff and put it in the bathroom for you. See ya in a few." 

"Uh, yeah, see ya," he murmured, walking quickly towards the bathroom. 

What just happened? 

At least I had some time to myself to figure things out. Why did my heart flutter like that when Ethan helped me up? There was literally no reason for that to happen. 

I'm not gay. 

Right? 

I flopped down on my bed, a huge sigh escaping me on impact. What was wrong with me? Sure, there's nothing wrong with being gay, but I'm not. Definitely not. This is the first time I've even been remotely attracted to a guy. And it's not even attraction! I haven't had physical contact in over a week. That has to be it. Right? 

Definitely. 

I sat in silence for a moment before realizing that the shower had turned off. Damn, when Ethan said grabbing a shower 'real quick', he meant it. I slid off my bed and to my feet, quickly grabbing a Cloak hoodie and pair of sweatpants out of my dresser. I opened the door and jogged down the hall to the bathroom, gently knocking on the door. "Can I come in to give you clothes, Eth?" 

"Um, yeah!" He called, and I slowly opened the door. Ethan was standing there, a towel wrapped around his hips. My head snapped back up to his face, my cheeks starting to burn. 

"Here ya go," I blurted out, holding the bundle of clothing out to him. He accepted it with a sheepish smile, and before he could say anything in return, I quickly turned around and ran back to my bedroom. 

So maybe it's attraction. 

Ethan walked into my bedroom a few seconds later, his hair still slightly wet. "Mark, you do know that we've seen each other naked before, right? It's really not a big deal that you saw me with a towel on." 

I squirmed slightly, hiding my face in my hands as it started to turn red. "It's different, man, I've only ever seen you naked when there was someone else around." 

The meaning behind that was left unsaid because we both knew it; I was single now, and the only time I've ever seen Ethan naked was when Amy was there. 

"I still don't really mind," Ethan murmured, letting the subject drop. "Which side of the bed do you want?" 

"Uh, I usually take left." 

A smile rose to Ethan's face, and my heart fluttered again. Seriously, what the hell? Am I having a heart attack or something? "Perfect, I take right." Ethan sat down on the bed, shifting so that he could pull the blankets over himself. He looked so natural, lying peacefully in my bed, waiting for me to sit down as well. 

Stop, I said to myself, my inner voice's tone whiny. Please, for two seconds, for the love of God, stop it. 

I closed my mouth (when had my jaw dropped? I wasn't sure), slowly peeling back the covers and laying down on the bed. "Alexa, turn off the lights," I said, and darkness immediately flooded the room. 

"Goodnight, Mark," Ethan murmured, the sound of the blankets crinkling filling my ears. 

"Goodnight, Eth." 

And for the first time in a week, I drifted off into a peaceful sleep. 

**~-~-~-~-~-~**

**Ethan**

I woke up to darkness, the sun not even up yet. A quick glance at my too-bright phone told me that it was two in the morning. 

And I had to pee, really bad. 

With a deep sigh, I rolled out of Mark's bed and started walking towards the door, intending to get back before Mark even noticed I'd been gone. I'd been staying with him for about a week now, and he still sometimes woke up with tear tracks on his cheeks. It broke my heart to see it. 

It only took me a minute to pee, wash my hands, and start carefully making the journey back to Mark's bedroom. As I slowly opened the door, wincing as it creaked, I heard Mark say, "Ethan?" 

His voice was small, smaller than I've ever heard it be. It was filled to the brim with fear, with confusion, and with heartache. 

It made mine break. 

"I'm here Mark, it's okay," I said reassuringly, quickly making my way back over to his bed. "I just had to use the bathroom really fast, I'm still here." 

I sank down deeper in the bed as he moved closer to me, and I wrapped an arm around his torso, pulling his body closer to mine. "I thought you left me, like Amy did," he whispered, burying his face in my neck. My face burned at the gesture, silently celebrating the fact that it was pitch black. 

Before I could respond, I gently pressed my face into his hair, relaxing as I smelled his shampoo while I inhaled. "It's okay, it's alright. I'm still here. I won't leave until you want me to." 

"Promise?" 

I hugged him closer. "Promise." 

**~-~-~-~-~-~**

**Mark**

I woke up the next morning in a daze, tears still drying on my face. Last night came flooding back, and I resisted the urge to groan. Why do I have to embarrass myself all the time? 

But, when I finally started thinking clearly, I realized I wasn't the one who was going to be embarrassed. I was curled up against Ethan's chest, which wasn't unusual- that'd been happening for the past few days- but something hard was poking into my thigh. 

I resisted the urge to move, starting to panic. I can't just get up, that'll wake him up and he'll know that I know! It's so much easier when it's just a girl in your bed, because you can just be blissfully unaware if she knows you're hard or not! 

"This is so much more difficult than it needs to be," I muttered, eyes widening. Shit, shit, why? Why me, all the time? Why does shitty stuff always happen to me? Why can I never shut up when I actually need to? 

Ethan shifted, and I let my eyes drift shut, trying to pretend that I was still asleep. He yawned slightly, moving a bit closer to me, his hard dick digging into my thigh. All of a sudden he pulled back, drawing in a quick breath. "Shit," he muttered. The sheets crinkled as he slipped out of bed, quietly whispering, "Mark?" 

I dutifully stayed still, curled up by myself, breathing slowly and deeply. "Thank God," Ethan murmured. A few moments later I heard the door creak open, then shut. I breathed out a sigh of relief, letting my eyes open once again. 

He stood over me, a panicked expression on his face. Why did he stay here? Why didn't he actually leave? "Mark, I'm so sorry," he said, his anxiety evident in his voice. His hazel eyes were wide, fear flicking across them. If you looked deeper into them, you could see flecks of green and brown, like a forest. 

That sounded like you're pining, I said to myself. Resisting the urge to look at his bulge was the tipping point, and the realization dawned in my head. 

So maybe I'm gay. 

"Eth, come back, I have to test something," I said through a yawn. Still skeptical, Ethan sat down on his side of the bed, his eyes tracking my every move. 

I crawled closer to him, carefully cupping his cheek with my hand. He held his breath, and I cocked my head to the side. "Can I kiss you?" 

"W-why?" 

With a small smile, I replied, "Because you look hot as hell when you're flustered, and I feel terrible that you're uncomfortable." 

Wordlessly, he pulled my face closer to his, our lips connecting instantly. 

Yeah. Even if I'm not gay, I'm definitely bi. 

The cutest smile appeared on his face as he pulled away. "Well, I'd love to make you feel better," he murmured, cradling my cheek. I leaned into the embrace, quirking an eyebrow at him. 

"How so?" 

"Got any lube?" 

My eyes widened slightly. "Didn't take you for a bottom, Nestor." 

He smirked at me, shooting back, "Good thing I'm not. It's for you, dummy," but he said it in the most loving tone I've ever heard. 

We started at each other for a moment, a silent battle. As he winked suggestively at me I finally caved, breathing, "Bedside table, second drawer." 

"Heck yeah!" Ethan cheered, reaching over the side of the bed and quickly tearing open the drawer. He threw a bottle of lube behind him, along with a condom, the shiny wrapper reflecting the sunlight into my eyes. 

"Somebody's enthusiastic," I muttered, and he spun around, pupils blown wide and a lustful smile on his face. He pulled my face to his again, not even trying to think up a retort. Ethan's slightly chapped lips moved against mine, and I melted into it, one hand resting on his shoulder and another in his hair. 

"Not my fault you're easy," he murmured, lips moving down to mouth at my neck. I whined, rolling my bottom lip between my teeth. Another embarrassing noise escaped me as he bit down on my pulse point, sucking gently. I'd have a hickie by tonight. 

"'M not easy," I breathed, and he pulled away, adoration clear in his eyes. 

"Okay, whatever you say," he replied. His eyes literally sparkled. And to think all those times I accidentally hit on him I thought I was being embarrassing. This takes the cake. "Where do you want me?" 

My face flooded red as I murmured, "Fuck me until I forget why I'm sad." 

He smiled, a hint of sadness shining through. But before I could ask about it, he responded, "Can do." And his lips were back on mine, hands tugging at the bottom of my shirt. Ethan pushed me off for a moment, and I automatically raised my arms up so that he could slide my shirt off. He made a content noise as his eyes raked up and down my bare torso, my arms twitching by my sides as I resisted the urge to cover up. "You're fucking hot as hell, Mark, you know that? I'm surprised I don't have a sunburn from touching someone as hot as you." 

I shivered at the dirty talk (even though it was kinda dorky), hands bunching at the bottom of his shirt. "Off, please," I murmured, and he pulled away from me completely, a small smirk on his face. 

"Beg." 

Though the word made me shudder, I shot back, "Someone's taking a power trip." 

His eyes got impossibly darker, looking almost black. "I'll keep you here for hours, edging you until you beg to cum so much that you'll lose your voice," he warned. His voice was the deepest I've ever heard it been, and I melted under his stare. "If you want my shirt off, if you want anything from me, beg." 

I whimpered, feeling my dick get harder in my sweatpants. And I always thought that I'd be a top if I ever slept with a guy. "Please, Ethan, let me take your shirt off, let me see you," I begged, and he smiled softly, his face immediately changing from slightly threatening to loving. 

"Good boy." 

The nickname made me gasp, and I tugged his shirt over his head quickly, bringing his lips back to mine. This kiss was way more passionate this time, his hands skimming over my bare skin, fingers pinching when they reached my nipples. I outright moaned into his mouth, hips rutting against his thigh without my consent. "Please, Ethan, babe," I murmured, arms wrapping around his neck, "stop teasing, please, I need you, please." 

"You're so pretty when you beg," he replied, hands moving down to the band of my sweatpants. "This okay?" 

"Please," I repeated, my voice cracking slightly. His smile turned soft as he tugged down my sweatpants and my boxers at the same time. I shivered at the cool air. 

"Flip over," he murmured into my ear, and so I did, the sheets crinkling as I moved against them. As the cap for the bottle of lube was thrown next to my face, I resisted the urge to buck into the bed. 

This is insane. I was sleeping fifteen minutes ago, and now my best friend is about to fuck me into the mattress. 

I felt something cold against my hole, and I squeaked, shoving my face into my pillow. Ethan's lubed-up finger poked gently at my entrance, and he whispered, "Relax." 

How am I supposed to relax when you're shoving your finger up my ass, Ethan? 

I tried, though, letting the tension bleed out of my muscles. It's gotta feel good, otherwise there wouldn't be that much gay porn out there. Ethan's dry hand soothingly rubbed my back, kneading away the fear. "It's okay. Count of three, okay?" 

"Okay," I murmured, the sound muffled by the pillow. 

Ethan took it as permission, however, and he started counting down. "Three... two... one." The slick finger slipped inside, and I hissed slightly, my body somehow not expecting it. It wasn't as much of a stretch as I expected it would be, honestly. 

He inched it deeper inside me, and I breathed deeply. "Hold on, lemme find something," he muttered, pressing open-mouthed kisses to the back of my neck. I whined slightly, pleasure heightening as he curled his finger. It almost seemed like he was searching for something. 

Oh fuck. 

I humped back against his finger, a high pitched moan flying from my mouth and into the pillow. I could hear the smirk in his voice as he murmured, "You like that?" 

"Ethan, Ethan, fuck," I breathed. I didn't have control over my own body anymore, my muscles contracting and moving with the pleasure. "Please, more, please, Ethan..." And so, even though I was begging for it, he slipped his finger out. I uselessly flailed against the bed, arching my back towards where his hand used to be. "Ethan." 

"You're so impatient, calm down," he said, chuckling slightly. "I'm getting more lube, hold your horses." 

Forcing myself to stay still was a lot easier said than done. My muscles bunched up, and each time his hand brushed across my back they loosened. Without warning, two of his fingers slipped inside of me, and I whined, bucking my hips back again. "You're so sensitive, huh?" Ethan squeezed yet another finger in, and I gasped, the pain outweighing the pleasure. My body went rigid, and Ethan noticed, kissing my back. "Need a minute?" 

"Y-yeah," I choked out. He rubbed my back gently, placing small kisses on my shoulder blades, my back, the top of my head. His fingers wiggled slightly, and he probably didn't mean to, but I let out a relieved sigh when I realized it didn't hurt as bad anymore. "Go, please." 

He carefully moved his fingers in deeper, crooking them and hitting that spot again. I whined, fucking back against them again. "Please, harder, more, Ethan," I begged, and I heard him chuckle lowly behind me. Ethan drew his fingers out almost all the way and rammed them back in against my prostate. 

Moans tumbled from my mouth, and I shoved my face into the pillow as he continued his ministrations, fingers brushing against my prostate with every stroke. "G-gonna- I'm c-close, Ethan, please," I murmured, stuttering through the moans. 

"Come for me," he whispered, breath tickling my ear as he kept finger-fucking me. With a whine, I came on the bed, untouched. I collapsed into a boneless heap, Ethan flipping me onto my back for some reason. 

His hand wrapped around my softening length, stroking up and down at an unrelenting pace. "Ah-Eth-oh, God," I whimpered, my body helplessly fucking into his hand. Were my eyes drifting shut, or was I dying from the pleasure? People always say that they saw stars, and I never really understood what they meant until now. Wave after wave of pleasure ripped through my body, white spots dotting my vision. "Fucking-" 

I climaxed again, only a few drops of cum leaking out of my spent dick. I panted, letting my head fall back against the pillow, my eyes drifting shut. "Jesus Christ," I muttered, "that was the best sex I've ever had." 

"Thanks!" Ethan said cheerfully. I peeled my eyes open to see him sitting there, pants still on and still hard. 

I crooked an eyebrow. "Want me to get you off?" 

"It wasn't really for me," he said quietly, shrugging. I pushed myself up, wincing slightly at the pain in my lower back, and brought my hand to his cheek, pulling him into a kiss. 

"Sex is a team effort. And besides, I want to. Give me a few minutes, and then we can have round two in the shower," I murmured, and he nodded enthusiastically. 

"And to think I thought I was straight." 

I laughed dryly, letting myself fall back against the bed again. "Me too, Eth. Me too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was really fun to write! I'm also running really low on requests, so please, if you have any semblance of an idea, leave a comment. Hope you enjoy!


	16. Don't Do Hookups, Do Me*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by Rebecca: "ethan n mark are filming a scene for their next video in marks car.... a moment gets tense.... theres a lot of tension in the air,,, someone makes a move,,, the fr*ck in the car,,,, they have to delete the footage lol,,,, the future of their relationship is in ur hands author <:"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains smut. Read at your own risk.

Request: "ethan n mark are filming a scene for their next video in marks car.... a moment gets tense.... theres a lot of tension in the air,,, someone makes a move,,, the fr*ck in the car,,,, they have to delete the footage lol,,,, the future of their relationship is in ur hands author <:" 

Requested: 02-26-2020, 7:22 PM EST 

Started: 03-23-2020, 11:35 PM EST 

Finished: 03-26-2020, 7:00 PM EST 

**Mark**

I clapped my hands together, slightly startling Ethan. "Alright, we rolling? Good." My voice dropped slightly in pitch as I continued, "Death comes for all of us. For some, it might be in the form of a fatal car crash." 

"Basically what Mark's trying to say is that we're gonna be spending twenty-four hours in this car," Ethan interjected. I looked at him, faking irritation for the camera we'd set up on the dashboard. 

"I was trying to do a whole dark and death-y kinda thing!" I exclaimed, nudging his shoulder slightly. 

"I don't think death-y is a real word," Ethan said, completely missing the point. 

Quickly erasing all emotion from my face, I replied, "No words are real. Language is a social construct." 

He laughed, rolling his eyes slightly. "Shut up. Be quiet." I smirked, and he glared at me, still smiling slightly. "Don't say it." 

"Quiet is a social construct," I whispered, still loud enough for the microphones to pick it up. 

Ethan smacked my arm, laughing. "You need to shut the fuck up, please." 

"No!" I exclaimed. "You should shut up!" 

"We should both shut up, we've barely done the intro and we're already fighting!" 

I rolled my eyes. "Is it really fighting if we're both in a good mood?" 

Ethan sighed, sliding down in his seat. "I'm regretting this. Is there losing? What if one of us has to pee?" 

"No losing, we have to stay in the car for the whole 24 hours. And if you have to pee, I guess we just finish a water bottle and we pee in that." 

"Gross!" I laughed, Ethan laughing too. "Dude, I already know I'm gonna cramp up from this bullcrap video idea." 

"Content, am I right?" 

"You're wrong." 

The car was silent for a moment. Ethan was taking in the surrounding area, and I didn't blame him. We were parked off the highway, in the parking lot for the Joshua Tree National Park. It was a long drive from our houses, but it was worth it. Besides, the driving gave us something to do, since that still technically counted as time. 

The lot we were parked in was less of a parking lot and more of a dirt clearing off of the highway. We'd gotten permission beforehand to stay parked here for twenty hours, but I'm not sure how the lot's not full more often. I guess maybe it's because it's the middle of the workday. 

Huge sequoia trees towered above our car, so high up it was dizzying. Birds nested in the surrounding pines, flying to and fro to gather dead needles for their nests. It was peaceful out here, a perfect place for photography. 

"What are we gonna do in here?" 

Ethan's voice startled me, and my head whipped away from the beautiful scenery outside and towards him. Him and his adorable, funny, annoying as hell self. "Like, do we have board games or anything?" 

I smirked slightly, looking behind the seats we were in. "What, you don't enjoy my company, Eth?" 

"I wasn't saying that, I-" 

"I'm teasing, blue boy," I murmured. He laughed awkwardly, the car delving into silence for a moment. Even though it had only been a few moments, I already hated the tension. It flooded the small space with discomfort, made me want to physically shake the feeling off. If it's going to be like this the entire time, maybe I'll implement a system for losing. "We've got Uno, Monopoly, Yahtzee, and Sorry, but I say we put a twist on things. We can edit this part out of the car video, and still knock out a video or two while we're in here." 

"Wanna start with Uno?" Ethan asked, and I made a sound of agreement, gently grasping the box of cards and setting it down on the seat between us. "And what do you mean, putting a twist on things?" 

"Well, I mean, the winner can make the other person do blank, the loser has to do blank, stuff like that." 

"Fair enough. What do you wanna do for this one?" As I shrugged, Ethan unboxed the cards, shuffling them sloppily. After a few failed attempts leaving many Uno cards on the floor, he sighed, holding the deck out to me. 

"I don't care that much," I replied, taking the deck and starting to shuffle the cards. "Got any ideas?" 

Instead of responding, or even paying attention to what I was saying, Ethan stared at my hands in awe as I shuffled the cards, deftly switching the deck from one hand to the next. With a sigh, I held the deck in one hand, waving the other in front of his face. "Earth to Ethan, hello?" 

He looked up at me, wide eyes startled. "Uh, yeah, sorry, it's just really cool that you can shuffle cards like that. No, I don't have any ideas." 

I scoffed, dealing the cards with ease. As they traveled across the car and into his lap, I retorted, "Pretty much everyone I know can shuffle cards like that." 

"It's still cool! Besides, if we're gonna be in here for an entire day, you might as well teach me." 

"True, true," I murmured, setting the deck down in between us and picking up my cards. I could barely contain my smile, a small smirk escaping despite my efforts. "We're playing where if I play a plus 2, you can stack it and it'd be plus 4, right?" 

Ethan eyed me suspiciously, nodding slowly. "I can't tell if you genuinely were asking, you're trying to psychologically get me to think that you have plus 2s to mess with me, or you have plus 2s and you're about to rain chaos." 

"That didn't really make sense. Flip a card over, you start since I dealt." 

Still maintaining suspicious eye contact, Ethan flipped over a card. My eyes flickered down to see what it was, and- 

I started laughing, head thrown back and almost hitting the window. I couldn't believe my luck. He'd flipped over a blue plus 2. He chuckled slightly too, though it sounded more like an evil laugh than a 'haha, look at that' kinda laugh. As I came down from my high, he smirked and laid down a green plus 2. "Four." 

I snorted. "Bold of you to assume I don't have any plus 2s." As I laid down a red one, Ethan winced, fanning out his cards to look at all of them. 

"Shit." 

Ethan laid down a plus 4, his smirk growing by the second as he looked at me from across the car. "Ten." 

"What color?" 

The air bristled with electricity. I think he knew that I still had a plus 2, but he had no idea which color. He stared into my eyes intensely, probably trying to catch the reflection of my cards in my glasses. After a few moments, glancing between me and his cards, he muttered, "Yellow?" 

"Yes!" I exclaimed, pumping my fist slightly as to not punch the ceiling. I triumphantly laid down my yellow plus 2, Ethan falling silent. "Go ahead and draw twelve for me, buddy." 

He shook his head, laughing slightly. "Poor, poor Mark. You should've just taken the ten." Ethan winked at me, and I shivered, my gay panic turning into outrage as he laid down another plus 4. "Sixteen, and I pick blue." 

"Wait, no, that's not fair!" 

"You're the one that wanted to play like this!" 

"Cheater," I muttered, picking up the entire deck and starting to pile more cards on top of my hand. "One, two, three..." 

"You're the one that shuffled!" Ethan exclaimed, chuckling slightly once I got to sixteen. "I guess we know who's winning now." 

I nodded, biting my bottom lip to keep from laughing. "Sure we do. Hey, when I play a reverse, since there's only two people, it reverses it back to me, right?" 

"I'm sorta scared about where you're going with that," he admitted, holding his cards in front of his face as if they could protect him against the onslaught I was about to bring on. 

"Yes or no, blue boy." 

"Sure, I guess." 

The smirk I'd been sporting for most of the game seemed permanently glued there. "It's your turn, Eth." 

He played a blue seven, still looking at me suspiciously. "That was probably one of the worst cards you could've played," I told him, beginning my reign of terror. "Reverse back to me, reverse back to me, reverse back to me, skip you, skip you, and I'll let you off easy this time with a yellow three." 

Ethan looked at me, eyes wide. "Jeez, is that what your entire hand looks like?" I sat there silently, unable to stop smirking even if I wanted to. Which I didn't. I was probably going to win this game. And the look of realization dawning in his eyes felt amazing. "Well fuck." 

"If you don't play your cards right, I'll probably be calling Uno by next round." 

Ethan's face became a mirror of mine, a smirk appearing on his face as well. "Well then, I guess I'll just sit around and watch while it happens." He played a yellow seven, and my smirk grew. Never mind the fact he probably had other cards up his sleeve (pun very much intended). I was still confident that I would win. 

I played card after card, slightly messing up the order so that I was left with three cards instead of my planned one. When it finally got to his turn, Ethan angrily drew a card, biting his lip once he saw it. "Alright, Mark, your turn." 

"I really don't like this color," I murmured, laying down a wild card. "Blue." 

Ethan shook his head, smirk quickly morphing into a pitiful smile. "Mark, the thing about that is that I don't like that color either." The pity was quickly replaced with triumph as he played a wild plus 4. "How about red, huh?" 

"No, I think it should be blue, but red sounds good for next round," I conceded, laying down my wild draw 4 on top of his. "Uno." 

"Mark, I have to disagree," he said through a laugh, and the smirk fell off my face like a leaf falls off a tree; quickly, quietly, worryingly. It signaled that something big is coming, something that some people don't like. "I really, really think that it should be red." Ethan kept laughing, laying down another wild plus 4. 

"No! Ethan, wait, please, we can talk about this, I-" He pressed a finger to my lips, quietly shushing me. "Draw twelve, Markimoo," he said in a hushed voice. 

"This game is fucking rigged." 

**~-~-~-~-~-~**

Obviously, Ethan won. Annoyingly enough, he won the next three times we played it, too. "This game is rigged," I muttered as Ethan laid down his final card, laughing triumphantly. 

"You've been the one shuffling for the entire time we played this!" He exclaimed, picking up the deck. "Teach me how to shuffle, and then we can play a different game. That way I can tell you that it's rigged even though I'm the one shuffling." 

"Shut up," I muttered. "It's gonna be hard to teach you since we don't have a hard, flat surface-" 

"That's what she said." 

I ignored him, continuing, "but you can probably still learn how. Watch me first, and then you try." It was fairly straightforward. Split the deck in half, put one half in each hand, use your thumbs to lift up one edge, and then let them go at the same time. 

"Dude, that's so cool, how did you figure out how to do that?" 

"Uh, common sense?" 

He laughed, a beautiful, bubbly sound. God, why do I have to spend 24 hours in a car with a guy that's funny, kind, and hot as hell? "I think I've got it now, pass me the deck." 

I handed him the Uno cards. "So I put the cards on my palms, right?" 

"Yeah." 

"And then I reach over and lift up the edge with my thumb, right?" 

"Uh-huh." 

"And then I just move them close to each other and let them go?" 

"Yup!" 

Ethan tried it, only a few cards shooting away from the stack. He looked at me as he fixed the stack, eyes filled with pride. "I did it!" 

"Yeah, you did! I'm pretty surprised, even I didn't get it on my first try," I admitted. He chuckled, grabbing the box and putting the cards away, leaning back over the seat and grabbing a box. "Wanna play Sorry next?" 

"Sure," he replied, setting the box down in between us. "Have any ideas for a twist to put on this one, Mark?" 

I shrugged, trying to think. "Nothing really in particular, but we could always play a good old game of Strip Sorry." 

Ethan started laughing. "S-strip Sorry? Seriously?" 

"What? I think it's a good idea!" 

He put his hands up, still laughing slightly. "No need to get defensive, I never said that it was a bad idea. It's just that Sorry is one of the least exciting games you can strip in." 

"How do you know?" 

While we argued, we worked together to set up the game. I let Ethan shuffle the cards, while I moved the box out of the way and started putting all the pieces on the game board. "Dude, I don't know, it just seems like you can't really work stripping into a game like Sorry." 

"Yes you can! Like, if one of us gets a Sorry card, the other one has to take something off, and if you get a backward four, you have to take something off!" 

Ethan cleared his throat, smiling slightly. "I guess you've got me there. Since there's only two of us, wanna each pick two colors?" 

"Sure," I murmured. "I'll take red and blue. You can go first." 

"Cool," he replied, flipping over the first card. 'Sorry!' He looked at me, eyebrow raised. "Go ahead, Mark. You dug this grave, now lie in it." 

With a long, overdramatic, drawn-out sigh, I tugged off my sweatshirt. "The one time it ever gets cold in this freaking state we decide to play Strip Sorry," I grumbled, causing Ethan to laugh. 

"You're the one that suggested this!" 

"Shut up!" I exclaimed, and he laughed even more. "Go, it's your turn." 

I flipped over a one, sliding my piece out of start and glancing up at Ethan. He took a card off the top of the deck, giggling slightly, before laying it back down in the discard pile. "No way! You have to be cheating!" 

"You watched me shuffle, Mark!" He exclaimed. "Take something off and go back to start, I'm taking your place." 

I nudged my piece back into start, lifting my shirt over my head and throwing it into the front seat. Ethan's eyes tore down my torso, flicking back up to mine a moment later with a sheepish expression. "Like what you see, Nestor?" 

"Fuck off," he shot back, cheeks reddening slightly. "Get a card, it's your turn." 

So I did, flipping the card over expectantly. Please let me get out, please let me- 

Ethan threw his head back in laughter, and I merely stared down at the card. This isn't fair. I never should've let him shuffle, I should've just done it myself. "This game is fucking rigged," I muttered, unbuttoning my jeans and sliding them down my legs, throwing them up into the front seat next to my shirt. "You're terrible at shuffling, I hope you know that." 

"You're the one that taught me how!" 

"That doesn't mean anything!" I retorted, unable to keep myself from laughing. "Draw a fucking card." 

The game continued without incident, except for the fact that I couldn't get out of my start. Ethan had a piece on each side of the board, getting fairly good cards every single turn. Ironically, I usually got double digits, which would be great if I could get a 1 or 2 just once. 

Things only turned around when Ethan was halfway done with yellow. I finally drew a 'Sorry!' card, almost punching the ceiling of the car in my enthusiasm. "Heck yeah! Take it off, blue boy!" 

Ethan rolled his eyes, slipping off his shirt while I booted him back to his starting place. When I finally looked up, my jaw legitimately dropped. 

It had been a while since Ethan and I had done a shirtless video for the channel. If a week is a while; for me, it was. Ethan's muscles flexed under his skin, still looking deliciously strong. I couldn't help but reminisce to two or three years ago, seeing him shirtless; though it had always thrilled me, he'd really grown into his gangly body, looking a lot healthier with some meat on his bones. God, he's hot. 

"Um, Mark?" 

Ethan's voice sharply jolted me out of my thoughts, my face burning. "Yeah, sorry, your turn, right?" I was breathless for some reason. Probably because I got caught staring down a very hot guy, and now I have to stay in a confined place with him for twenty or so more hours. 

"No, I went while you were thinking about whatever got you hard." 

Fuck. 

_FUCK._

"I- uh, I'm-" 

He raised his hand up, looking at me expectantly, and I immediately fell silent. Now that he mentioned it, the arousal (previously the minute I spent pining over him) flooded through me like an ocean. My eyes couldn't help but flick down, seeing a hard shape in the outline of his skinny jeans. Hold the fuck on. "Mark, it's fine, people get horny sometimes." 

I cleared my throat, trying to find my voice. "Yeah, like you, right now." His face paled, the blood coming back full force moments later. "Tell ya what, Ethan, let's be honest here. Looking at your hot self got me hard, so why don't we strike up a deal, huh? I get you off, you get me off, and then that's that and we continue with the video." 

Ethan just stared at me, dumbfounded. That was a bad idea. There's a reason people don't put themselves out there, Mark, and this is that reason. He coughed, and I looked at him expectantly. "Uh, I don't really do hookups." 

Well, it's a good thing I didn't do a reality check before this, I thought bitterly. Friend don't just hook up in real life, and this isn't a sitcom. Obviously. If this were a sitcom, I wouldn't even be pining after a guy. "Fair enough. Wanna keep playing the game?" 

"Sure," he murmured, clearly lost in his thoughts. I flipped over a card silently, moving my piece forward eight. 

And so we just kept playing. Weird enough that this isn't chess, because we're sure as hell at a stalemate right now. 

**~-~-~-~-~-~**

After Ethan destroyed me in yet another game, we packed it up silently. I could feel his gaze boring a hole in the back of my head, but I kept my eyes down, staring at the cards as he set them in the box. "We should probably talk about that," he murmured. 

"Sure," I replied, carefully setting the box in the back of the car. 

"I know I said I don't do hookups," he said cautiously. I finally looked at him, sensing the 'but' from a mile away. It didn't come about in the way I expected. "I've only ever had sex with two people, Mark. I lost my virginity to a girl in high school, and then Mika. I've never been with a guy sexually before, so even if I did do hookups, I'd be terrible. 

"And I don't do hookups because I know I'll get hurt. You of all people know that when I fall for someone, then I fall hard. What if we hookup and the sex is amazing? I couldn't live with that." 

As he finished my rant, I breathed carefully. Each moment I made was careful, and as I spoke, I articulated each syllable: "Well, what if it was more than a hookup?" 

"What do you mean?" 

You could cut the tension with a knife. Scratch that; you could cut the tension with anything remotely sharp. "What if the sex is good and you want more of it? Just ask me out, you pussy, if I'm willing to sleep with you I'm more than willing to be in a relationship with you. If it's just a hookup for you, then it's just a hookup. If you fall for me, then you fall for me. Either way, we have killer sex, and we can pass the time easier in this car that we're gonna be stuck in for a long time." 

He cocked his head to the side. "You mean it?" 

"Pinky promise," I said softly, extending my pinkie out. But instead of grasping my pinkie, he reached his hand up to cup my face, pulling my lips against his. I whimpered slightly, pulling away after a moment. "It's not fair that you're hot AND a good kisser," I breathed, and he merely chuckled, his thumb rubbing my cheek. 

"Take a look at yourself." 

He pulled my face back to his, my hands reaching down to pop off the button of his jeans. I helped him slide them off, both of us too pent up and relieved that this was going to work out to take it slow. His boxers were the next to go, followed by mine. He took both of our dicks in his hand, and I let out a breathy moan, my head falling onto his shoulder. 

As he soothingly bit and sucked at my exposed neck, he gently started moving his wrist. I moved my mouth so that it was buried in his shoulder, repressing my moans that squeaked out as whimpers. "Eth, ah-" I choked out, nuzzling even further into his shoulder. He smiled gently against my neck, jerking us both off a little harder. "'M not gonna- ah, fuck- last long, baby." 

With those words, he picked everything up, letting his own cock go and focusing completely on mine, his free hand brushing through my hair. I had to squeeze my eyes shut and bite my lip to keep from making very embarrassing noises. I searched blindly between us, hand finally finding his dick and starting to jerk him off, too. 

We were both wrecks in minutes, my wrist picking up speed. I stopped caring about keeping quiet, fucking into his fist, and I suddenly noticed his cologne, and it was all so much so fast, and- "Fuck, Ethan!" 

I came all over his fist, his hand slowing as he milked the last drops of cum out of me. My wrist was flying up and down his cock, and he bit hard against my collarbone as his cum mixed with mine. 

"Jesus, that was pretty good sex, huh?" I asked, still breathing into his neck. "Well, I get your concern." 

He pulled away from me quickly, and I raised my head, looking at him questioningly. "We never turned off the camera." 

I laughed, clapping a messy hand down onto his shoulder. He winced, nudging it off. "Guess we're editing this one ourselves. But, on a more serious note, have you caught feelings yet?" 

He rolled his eyes, chuckling slightly. "I think us making a sex tape is more serious than my emotions, but okay. And yes, I've had feelings for a while now, Mark, I thought you were just horny and wanted to fuck anything within five miles." 

"I'm not a whore!" 

"Wanna be my whore?" 

My spent dick twitched inquisitively, and I laughed. "Well, when you phrase it like that, I tend to think from somewhere other than my head or my heart." 

"Date me, Mark," he said impatiently, making me laugh harder. 

"Duh, obviously that's a yes from me." 

"Good."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW, I got that done right on the brink! I swear I'm usually punctual, it's just that having three requests come in on the same day when you already have eight backlogged is a lot. Hope you enjoy regardless!


	17. I Adore Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by screamcheese2001: "i love this one, i really love your writing!! Could you do one where they get in the car after todays drum vid and ethans upset because of how sarcastic and mean mark has been lately, and mark makes one more joke and he starts to cry and mark feels awful and basically just a bunch of comfort and mark letting ethan know he doesn't actually meannit"

Request: "i love this one, i really love your writing!! Could you do one where they get in the car after todays drum vid and ethans upset because of how sarcastic and mean mark has been lately, and mark makes one more joke and he starts to cry and mark feels awful and basically just a bunch of comfort and mark letting ethan know he doesn't actually meannit" 

Requested: 02-28-2020, 12:33 AM EST 

Started: 03-27-2020, 7:05 PM EST 

Finished: 03-28-2020, 12:00 AM EST 

**Mark**

"This was an amazing experience," I murmured to the secretary while Ethan grabbed our coats off the rack. She smiled at me, nodding. "Thank you so much." 

"Come back with your boyfriend anytime!" She said, and I returned her smile, shrugging on my coat as Ethan handed it to me and smiling at him. 

"Ready to go home?" 

He smiled back, a tired smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. His eyes stayed flat, the smile fake. "You already know it, baby." 

I chuckled slightly, holding out my hand. His smile became a bit more genuine as he took it, holding the door to the outside open for me. We walked through the lot in a comfortable silence, my thumb rubbing gentle circles against his hand. We finally parted ways as I walked around the car, sliding into the driver's seat. 

As I shoved the keys into the ignition, Ethan shut his door, resting his head against the dashboard. "You okay, baby?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow at him. 

He looked up at me, smiling tiredly. "Yeah, everything's just a lot right now. I'm in serious need of some food when we get home, too, so there's that." 

"We can drive through somewhere if you want," I offered. "Besides, I get that things are a lot. Sometimes it's a lot to have to deal with my oceans of skill, and sometimes it's a lot to deal with your lack of skill." 

Ethan chuckled, a small little sound, sounding more hollow than usual. "Nah, I'm fine," he murmured, the slightest waver in his voice. "I can wait until we get home." 

I turned the key, switching gears from park to drive. "Are you sure? Because we can stop somewhere if you want." 

He didn't respond. 

I glanced over to him. Ethan was staring down into his lap, a tear falling off of his face and onto his pants. My heart broke immediately, and I offered him my free hand, my other turning the steering wheel and driving towards the most secluded corner of the lot. 

Thankfully enough, he took my hand, and I immediately starting rubbing soothing circles against his hand again, stopping the car when I figured we were far enough away from the rest of the world. He looked over to me as I put the car into park, immediately rubbing underneath his eyes. "What're you doing, Mark?" 

"Baby boy, why are you crying?" 

More liquid gathered in his eyes, and he smiled softly, the gesture hollow. It was obvious he was trying to play it off. "I'm fine, Mark, can we just go home?" 

"Eth, I can't just sit here and drive while you're not okay," I whispered. What was left of the light in his eyes died a little bit more. "Don't try to tell me that you're fine, because you're crying, babe, and I can't stand it when you're upset. Please just tell me what's wrong." 

Ethan sighed slightly, resting his head on my shoulder. "Why do you gotta be so mean to me all the time? I know it's just for a bit, but some of that stuff really hits home sometimes Mark, and it fucking hurts really bad. Even just an apology for it every once in a while would be cool, but we just keep going like you never did anything." 

I rested a hand on his head, gently combing my fingers through his hair and scratching gently against his scalp. I honestly had no idea what to say. If I'd ever know that it bothered him so much, then I would've stopped before the 'don't touch me' bit even started. "Eth, I'm really sorry. I don't mean it at all, I think you're amazing and cute and handsome and hot and capable and adorable and lovable and just plain amazing." 

He sniffled, shifting his face even further down into my arm. I started to notice the snot and tears collecting on the shoulder of my hoodie, not really caring for the moment; my boyfriend matters more than a stain that'll wash out eventually. 

"It just seemed really easy for you to say that just now," he whispered, and I felt an actual pain in my chest. A gut-wrenching, heart-throbbing pain. I thought I'd felt heartbreak when Amy and I broke up, but this takes the cake. 

"Hey, Eth, no," I murmured, hugging his body infinitely closer to mine. "No, wait, hold on, lemme find a way to explain this." After a moment, I smiled sadly, the perfect idea popping into my head. "Y'know how actors can play characters, and those characters can be mean to other characters?" 

"I'm sad, not dumb," he murmured into my shoulder, and I laughed, my hand resuming its motion in his hair. 

"But those actors whose characters are being mean to each other can be friends in real life, right?" 

I could practically read Ethan like an open book at this point; if his face weren't hidden, he'd definitely be rolling his eyes. "Yeah." 

"The me that I am on screen is a character," I murmured, leaning down to press a kiss to the back of his head. "I can say all those things on camera, but I don't mean for it to transfer to us off-camera. My character self might make fun of you and tease you, but I'm actually so proud of you. You've come so far since you were doing a backflip at that convention, and I'm so amazed every day that I get to date someone like you." 

He finally removed his face from my shoulder, new tears gathering in his eyes. "Really? Do you actually mean that?" 

"Of course!" I exclaimed softly, cupping his face in my hands. "Ethan, you're incredible. I wake up next to you and thank the universe that I got to live in the same time period as you, breathe the same air as you, even kiss you." I leaned in, brushing my lips against his for emphasis. "I love you. And I'll stop saying all that stuff on camera since it bothers you so much." 

He waved his hand, tears overflowing and sliding down his cheeks. I thumbed them away, smiling softly at him. "It's fine," he murmured, bringing me back in for a kiss. He pulled away mere moments later, my lips following his as I whined. "I think it's kinda cool that I get a part of you that no one else on the Internet does." 

"That is pretty cool, huh?" 

"Yeah," he murmured, moving back in to kiss me for longer. 

Like I said, I adore him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ZOO WEE MAMA that one almost got me on my timeframe!   
> I hate that I just said zoo wee mama! I'm going to kill my best friend for forcing me to adopt her slang!  
> Also, this chapter is a lot shorter than usual, but I think it's fluffy and sweet and I really actually like this one. Hope you all enjoyed, and I'll see you in the next one!


	18. You're Actually Adorable*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by Wonderland_Reject: "I have a request! In one of the newest Unus Annus videos (We Force James Charles to run a military obstacle course) Mark was being super nice to everyone but Ethan, who he was being an ass to, and as pointed out by many a commenter, it clearly got to Ethan even though it was for a bit. I would love to see the aftermath of this, like hurt/comfort and maybe some smut where Mark is praising Ethan, cause he really did do a really good job in that video! Okay thank you! I love your writing, you’re amazing! I hope you’re doing well!!!"  
> Also requested by ash_fgdfg: "hi! i just wanted to tell you that i think this is my favorite chapter in this oneshot book so far :) im absolutely in love with your writing style and ive been constantly checking for your new chapters... I have some requests if you dont mind, definetly do not feel obligated though... i would really love a scenario following up after the Unnus Anus video they did with James (i think someone might have already requested this) where Ethan gets affected by Mark's joking so Mark comforts him and shows him how much he really loves him. i love sappy shit. maybe some smut in there? thank you so much for blessing us with these fics <3"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope it's okay that I combined your requests!  
> WARNING: This chapter contains smut. Read at your own risk.  
> TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter talks heavily about panic/anxiety attacks. Please don't read if this is a triggering topic. Hope you enjoy <3

Request from Wonderland_Reject: "I have a request! In one of the newest Unus Annus videos (We Force James Charles to run a military obstacle course) Mark was being super nice to everyone but Ethan, who he was being an ass to, and as pointed out by many a commenter, it clearly got to Ethan even though it was for a bit. I would love to see the aftermath of this, like hurt/comfort and maybe some smut where Mark is praising Ethan, cause he really did do a really good job in that video! Okay thank you! I love your writing, you’re amazing! I hope you’re doing well!!!" 

Requested: 03-25-2020, 10:32 PM EST 

Request from ash_fgdfg: "hi! i just wanted to tell you that i think this is my favorite chapter in this oneshot book so far :) im absolutely in love with your writing style and ive been constantly checking for your new chapters... I have some requests if you dont mind, definetly do not feel obligated though... i would really love a scenario following up after the Unnus Anus video they did with James (i think someone might have already requested this) where Ethan gets affected by Mark's joking so Mark comforts him and shows him how much he really loves him. i love sappy shit. maybe some smut in there? thank you so much for blessing us with these fics <3" 

Requested: 03-26-2020, 5:01 PM EST 

Started: 03-31-2020, 11:50 AM EST 

Finished: 04-06-2020, 12:10 AM EST 

TRIGGER WARNING: Panic attacks. 

**Ethan**

"Dude, that was insane," Mark said, still slightly out of breath. He sat down heavily in the driver's seat beside me, letting his door close from the wind. I merely kept my head down on the dash, counting under my breath. 

"One, two, three..." Exhale, "one, two, three..." Inhale. "One, two-" 

"Eth, are you okay?" 

"Fine," I panted. "Three. One, two, three." 

"Babe? Are you sure?" 

Through a breath, I choked out, "Panic attack." 

"Wow, um, okay. What do you need me to do?" 

He gently laid a hand on my shoulder, and I jerked away from the touch instinctively. "Drive. Anywhere. Not home. Just drive." 

"Okay." 

I counted the breaths, inhaling for three and then exhaling for three. I focused on the sound of the wind wooshing by the car. I focused on anything but Mark. 

He didn't mean it, right? He wouldn't date someone that was actually trash, right? 

You're probably wrong, part of me piped up. He probably just feels bad for you. As soon as Unus Annus is over, he's going to break up with you, and there's nothing you can do about it. You're going to be single soon enough, because who would want you? 

Mika sure didn't. Abigail sure didn't. And with the way Mark's acting, he doesn't either. 

"Want me to pull over, or keep driving?" His voice echoed, like it was far away. Like he couldn't stand to be near me, so he was talking from far away. Makes sense. That marine absolutely destroyed me in the race. I'm not strong enough to win. I can't win, there's no way that I can. "Ethan?" 

"Pull over," I choked, the corners of my eyes starting to sting. Don't be a little bitch, I told myself. Why are you going to cry? At least ACT like you're strong enough to take it. Fake it 'till you make it, right? So pull yourself together until no one can see you. 

The car immediately stopped. "Can I touch you?" 

I couldn't stop the retort that slipped past my lips: "I don't know why you'd want to." 

"Oh, Ethan," Mark murmured. He's probably disappointed in me. Probably? the voice snidely asked. Definitely. Pull yourself together, Ethan, or something bad is going to happen to you. If you don't pull yourself together, I'll- "Ethan, baby, can I please touch you?" 

"I guess," I mumbled. The click of his seatbelt, the wind passing by outside. Great distractions. But when I'm distracted, I'm vulnerable. Wait until you're home to be vulnerable. Come on, Ethan, I swear to God- 

Strong hands massaged my shoulders, the tension seeping away. No, wait, what's he doing? "Ethan, I'm sorry," he murmured, digging his thumbs into the aching muscles. "Do you want to talk about it?" 

"C-can we just get dinner, please?" I whimpered. "I c-can't, Mark, I just can't right now. I can't do it." 

"It's okay," he said soothingly. "Hey, babe, how about I drop you off at my house, you get in the bath, and I'll go pick up Chinese, huh? Is that okay, Ethan?" 

I nodded, fighting for the tears to stay behind my tightly shut eyelids. You're pitiful. A disgrace, really. It's a wonder you've lasted this long, the voice inside mused. You'll be falling apart any minute now. And rightfully so. If you're not strong enough to keep racing, then you're certainly not strong enough to keep your emotions in check. Pitiful. 

"Do you want your usual, babe?" 

"Y-yes, please." 

"Okay," he murmured. "I'm so proud of you for being able to talk, Ethan. You're doing such a good job." 

He dutifully ignored the tears seeping out of my eyes, reaching across me and clicking my seatbelt into place. Another click later and we were back on the road. 

He's pitying you. Someone as amazing as that, being proud of a scrawny child like you? That's probably the funniest hope you've ever had. Maybe once this YouTube thing goes downhill you should try comedy. A face everyone could laugh at? Funny jokes like your life, and the idea that Mark loves you? Gold. That's probably the only thing you'll ever be good at. 

The car stopped all too soon, but not soon enough. "Can you walk, babe? Do you wanna go inside?" 

Keep it together, the voice warned. Come on, Ethan, try to get one thing right in your entire life. "Yeah, I'm fine." 

My eyes slipped open, flickering over to Mark. Skepticism and worry warred on his face, and I resisted the urge to let the tears overflow. Come on now, Ethan, get out of the car, walk up the steps, unlock the door, and go take a shower. 

I followed the voice's instructions robotically, each step rewarded by the lack of insults in my brain. This was good. I can do what I'm told, easy. This is easy enough. 

Mark must've rolled his window down at some point, because he yelled, "Help yourself to anything you need, okay? I'll be back in half an hour." 

Don't turn around, my brain said warningly. 

I turned around, Mark's worried expression melting into a half-smile. "Okay," I yelled back, waving slightly. His smile grew even more, and he backed out of the driveway. I didn't turn back around until his car turned the corner. Digging my keys out of my pocket and unlocking the door only took a moment, and it took two more for me to walk into Mark's house, shut the front door, and kick off my shoes. 

The fourth moment signaled the start of my breakdown. Tears I'd forgotten that I was holding back started to flow freely. 

Half an hour to fall apart and to put myself back together. 

**~-~-~-~-~-~**

My leg bouncing up and down, and the clock ticking; those were the only two sounds in Mark's house. I'd cried in the shower, scrubbed my ugly skin raw, and slipped into an extra pair of clothes I kept at Mark's for after-video hangouts. Now all that was left to do was to rehearse the words I needed to say and wait. 

Thankfully, I didn't have to wait long. Chica jumped up from her place beside me on the couch as Mark's car pulled into the driveway, and so did I, starting to pace. It's always awkward after a breakdown. I hate breaking down in front of people, it's just terrible. It's so hard to tell if they care or not, especially after something like that. 

It's easier to assume they don't. 

But why would Mark date me if he didn't care? It just didn't make any sense. Mark was amazing; he cared so deeply about all his friends. So obviously he's got to care about me at least a little, it's just his nature. But dating me? There's not really any logical conclusion. 

Mark opened the door, beaming as he saw me. "Eth! Feeling any better?" 

The enticing aroma of Chinese food followed him inside, and he set the bag down on the coffee table, wrapping me up into a tight hug. His strong arms bit into my aching ones, and I choked out, "Ow." He let me go a bit, and I could feel his smile against my neck. "I'm feeling... not bad. I don't know if you could call it better, but I don't feel the way I did." 

He cocked his head to the side innocently. Handsome, smart, funny, and comfortable with himself... Mark was the ultimate package. And he brought Chinese food. What more could I ask for? 

That's why it's so hard for me to believe he cares. He's amazing, and I'm just me. 

"Anything I can do to make you feel better, Eth?" 

I shook my head, finally wrapping my arms around him too. "I'm just in my own head right now, just gotta wait it out." He pulled back, and I gave him a weak smile. I could tell he was still skeptical, and rightly so. Unless some huge flaw of his is exposed I'm stuck like this for a while. 

Well, I already knew one of his flaws, I realized, sitting down on the couch next to him. He's terrible at just apologizing for something and moving on from it. So in the next conversation, things are screwed, because I already know what he's going to ask me. 

"Wanna eat in here, or at the table?" He asked, shrugging off his coat and throwing it over the back of the couch. 

"Here's fine with me, if that's okay." 

He chuckled. "If it wasn't okay, I wouldn't offer." 

"I know, I know." 

Mark opened the bag of food, taking out all the contents and putting them on the table. Folded boxes were scattered all over by the time he was done, and he looked up at me with a smile. "Want anything to drink?" 

"I'm alright," I murmured, grabbing the box of lo mein off of the coffee table. "Got chopsticks?" 

"Yeah, they should be around here somewhere. Eth, I know when something's bothering you, we've been dating for, like, ever. Please just tell me." 

I snatched a pair of chopsticks off the table, sliding them out of the wrapper and opening the carton of noodles. "Mark, seriously. Nothing's wrong anymore. Whatever set off the anxiety's gone now, I'm over it, and I've accepted it." 

"Liar." 

The single word was mumbled under his breath, and I suddenly became painfully aware of my heartbeat. The minute I calm down, something like this has to happen. And why me? I must've done something to deserve this, and it was probably recently. Maybe if I figure out what I did I can stop this. 

"Ethan," Mark murmured, jolting me out of my train of thought. As I glanced at him, quickly turning my gaze back to my food, he continued, "I can hear you spiraling from out here. Trust me, I've been around you enough to know when something's actually bothering you. If you really need me to drop it, I will, but I want to make things better if I can." 

I sighed, trying and failing to use the chopsticks again. I had it at first, dammit, why can't I use them now? "I mean, I guess. Gimme a second, I wanna try to use these chopsticks first." 

"Take your time, babe. I can teach you if you want?" 

I forcefully shook my head, muttering, "I can do it myself." I need to be able to do one thing right. It's not a want at this point, it's a need. Some small thing that I can do better than Mark, something small enough that he won't even notice, but I will. And my heart's been set on using chopsticks without Mark's help. 

I glanced up at Mark. His eyes were filled with concern, but the moment he saw me looking at him, he gave me a weak smile. My heart ached. He deserves to know that I'm upset at something he did. Even though I know he's going to apologize, and even though I know I'm not going to believe him and he's gonna tear himself up over it, he still deserves to know. Keeping him in the dark is plain mean, I know that. 

So why's it so hard to find the words? 

"I already know that it was just for a bit," I murmured, "and I already know that you're gonna say you didn't mean it, but the constant degradation out there kinda got to me." 

I gently set the half-empty carton back on the coffee table, looking at Mark through my hair. He had a frustrated frown on his face, and once he noticed I was looking at him, he cocked his head to the side. God, he's cute. "Eth, I've been doing some research. But first, can I touch you?" 

"Yeah," I murmured, and he set his food on the table and wrapped me up into a tight hug. 

"I heard that some people with anxiety or depression can feel down when they see someone around them they think is better than them. Is that something that you do?" Instead of answering, I buried my face in his neck, starting to heat up. He really cares that much to do research? 

With a chuckle, Mark continued, "Eth, do you think I'm better than you?" 

I snorted against his collarbone, and he pressed a kiss to my still-damp hair. "Obviously," I muttered, the sound muffled. 

He decided to go full comfort mode on me, one hand sliding from around my stomach to pet my hair. I melted into the touch, and he said, "Ethan, baby. First of all, I'm definitely not better than you. I know you don't believe me, but I'm gonna say it anyway. And also, even if I were better than you, why would someone as 'great as me' date someone who wasn't up to par?" 

"Out of the goodness of your heart," I muttered in response, blush darkening hardcore. He laughed, pulling away from the hug so that I was staring into his warm, caring eyes. 

"I'm not that charitable, Eth." 

Mark's hand moved from my side to my face, cupping my jaw. My heart was currently jumping from 'I love him so much, oh my gosh' to 'there's no way he actually means that.' I wish I could enjoy something one time without my anxiety ruining it. 

"You're adorable. You're capable, you're handsome, and you're amazing. Can you repeat that back to me?" 

Man, he actually did his homework. Kudos to you, Mark, but I can't say it if I don't mean it. Even ask my therapist, because the last time I tried, I had to go home because I was crying so much. 

I merely shook my head, and he gently kissed my nose. When he pulled back, I saw my reflection in his suddenly-shiny eyes. How could he love me? It doesn't make sense. "Please, Eth? For me?" 

"Mark, do you want me to cry again?" I asked quietly. 

He drew me back into a short hug, breathing heavily against my shoulder. "Eth, I don't care if you're crying. I want you to be happy eventually, because it's killing me that you could think for even a second that you're not worth everything in the world. And I've got plenty of tissues." 

We laughed in sync, mine hopeless, his hopeful. Well, opposites attract. Ugly to beautiful, weak to strong, hopeless to hopeful. "Why say it if I don't mean it?" I asked, silently cursing my shaky voice. Ethan, for God's sake, keep it together. You were doing fine earlier, but obviously you had to mess it up. 

Tears gathered in my eyes. Please, let me enjoy something. A nice, soft moment, just Mark and I. I don't need my anxiety to third-wheel every conversation I have. 

"If you say something enough, it's gonna turn out to be true." 

"Touche." 

"You're adorable, you're strong, you're capable, and you're awesome. Okay?" 

A single tear spilled over, trailing down through his stubble. Maybe we're not opposites after all. "I'm ador-adorable, I'm strong, I'm c-c-capable..." My voice broke the further I went. "I'm... awes-awesome." 

Mark wiped the tear off his face, reaching over and wiping the tears off mine. The fabric of his sweatshirt scraped across my face. "Tissues?" 

"Just hug me." 

"Do you believe me?" He asked, hugging me for the third time. 

I burrowed into him, the scent of his cologne overpowering my senses. "It's not an overnight thing, otherwise I wouldn't be like this. I'm trying, Mark, I'm just not good at most things." 

"You're good at everything," he murmured, pressing his lips to the corner of my jaw. "Very amazing, ten out of ten. Would watch do literally anything for hours on end again. WILL watch do literally anything and everything for hours on end again." 

I laughed, shoving my face infinitely farther into his neck. "God, I love you." 

"Love you too, Eth. Love you so much." 

Did I believe him? Of course not! Even though I trust him, obviously he doesn't have perfect judgment. But the words were still nice to hear. 

Everything about Mark is nice. 

**~-~-~-~-~-~**

"I feel bad not staying with you," Mark complained over the phone, out of frame as he changed. The formality was stupid, since we'd seen each other naked several times (both on camera and off), but he insisted on it. He also just slept in boxers, but any time I brought that up, he'd get all mumbly and embarrassed, so I guess I won those fights. 

Something I'm good at, relating to Mark? Today's just a rollercoaster ride, isn't it? 

"Mark, it's honestly fine," I replied, already ready for bed. "Besides, Kathryn would kill you if you came over out of nowhere with no good cause." 

"I'm worried and I miss you is a good cause," he pouted, coming back into frame as I propped my phone up against my lamp. "Wait, hold on, where's your abs?" 

I laughed, covering myself up with a sheet. "Not to Kathryn. What are you even worried about?" 

"You, duh," he murmured, slipping under his blankets too. "You can't just have a breakdown in front of me, change up your pajamas, and then not expect me to be worried about you." 

"Thanks for noticing," I replied, the words dripping with sarcasm. "Nothing to be worried about, anyway. We'll be seeing each other in literally eight hours." 

"Eight?" 

"We're still on for Monday morning coffee, right?" 

"Yeah," he replied distractedly. "Eth, are you sure you're okay?" 

I sighed, rolling my eyes. "Mark, I promise I'm actually fine. I'm just tired, man. I mean, we raced literal Marines today. My muscles hurt." 

"Your big, sexy muscles," he murmured, and I laughed. Mark got a little delusional when he was tired. And he wonders why I don't trust some of the things he says when he acts like a drunk toddler every time we try to go to sleep. "I miss you." 

"I literally saw you an hour ago," I replied pointedly, reaching over to turn off my light. "I'm gonna go to bed, Mark. I love you." 

"Why are you still wearing your sweatshirt?" 

I puffed out a breath, rolling over so I faced away from the camera. It didn't matter much, considering that it was pitch black in my room, but it was easier to talk to him when facing away. A lot easier. "I just... don't wanna look at myself tonight. I could use the extra comfort, anyway. Goodnight, Mark." 

"Goodnight, Eth," he murmured, his light clicking off quietly. "I love you." 

**~-~-~-~-~-~**

**Mark**

I couldn't sleep. Not after what Ethan said. 

It's so unlike him to sleep in a sweatshirt. He always complained that it got way too hot in his room, and since he can't fall asleep without some sort of blanket covering him, it's too hot for him to wear a shirt to sleep. He usually wore only shorts and boxers, but a sweatshirt and sweatpants? Something's definitely up. 

So, at 3 AM, against all better judgment, I texted Kathryn and told her that I was coming over. She said she'd leave the door unlocked, and to please be quiet, because she actually wanted to get sleep tonight and not have us haunt her nightmares for the next week. 

"Come on, come on," I muttered to myself, slowing down as soon as I saw the speed limit sign. If I broke a law, there'd be no way I'd get there before Ethan fell asleep. But his house finally came into sight, and I pulled into the small parking lot and walked quickly up to his door, coffee in hand. 

The door creaked when I opened it, and I winced at the sound. I made my way quickly and quietly through Ethan and Kathryn's house, ignoring Spencer as he bounded out of Ethan's room to greet me. "Eth?" I asked quietly, peeking my head into his room. 

He raised his head at my words, cocking his head to the side slightly. "Mark, what are you doing here? It's like three in the morning." 

I wordlessly walked towards his bed, setting my coffee on his bedside table before kneeling next to him. "I can't sleep," I admitted, "and I feel terrible for making you have a panic attack." 

"I already said it's fine," he muttered, a hint of venom in his voice. 

"I'm still sorry, Eth. Can I make it up to you?" 

Even in the low light, I could tell he was rolling his eyes. "Mark, I'm not your fucktoy, and I'm really not in the mood." 

I shook my head, chuckling slightly. "Babe, I meant cuddling you to sleep and making you breakfast in bed." 

His hand reached down to tug at my shirt, pulling me closer to his bed. "Yeah, I like that one a lot more," he murmured. I laughed again, pushing myself to my feet and walking around to the other side of his bed. Ethan pulled the sheet back, and then over me as I laid down next to him. 

Small, strong hands pulled me closer to his warm body, wrapping me in a gentle hug. "It's really fucking hot in here," he complained quietly, and I tugged at the bottom of his sweatshirt. He raised his arms so that I could take it completely off. 

"Babe, that's because I'm here," I teased, and he giggled, burying his face in my neck. 

"I hate you." 

"I love you too, Eth," I murmured, kissing the top of his head. He pushed his hair back against my face, a few strands pricking my nose and the inside of my mouth, and I started to sputter. Ethan only laughed, murmuring an apology, his hands slipping down to the waistband of my pants. "Thought you said you weren't my fucktoy?" 

"Fuck off," he murmured, kissing gently at my neck. I lifted my hips so that he could slide my sweatpants completely off, his fingers accidentally catching my boxers too. 

"Um, Eth?" 

"Yeah?" He asked, throwing the clothes to the side. Even though we've been dating for a while, and even though he couldn't even see me, I was blushing. Hard. And that wasn't the only thing that was hard. 

"You stole my boxers." 

"Oops," he murmured, a hint of laughter in his voice. "Arms up, babe." 

"Don't you care?" I whimpered, raising my arms at his command. He slipped my sweatshirt off, shaking his head against my shoulder. 

"Do you care?" Ethan retorted softly, biting gently at my now-exposed skin. I whimpered again, accidentally bucking my hardness against his sweatpants. "Why are you hard, Mark? You've only been here for, like, five minutes." 

I bucked against his leg again, eliciting a quiet groan from him. "You're hot as hell," I murmured, moving so that I could speak right next to his ear. "And I love you so much. And I missed you. And because I get to be here with you, and it's awesome." 

"You're so corny," he murmured, voice full of adoration. 

I stopped my motions once I felt him hardening as well. "And you're making fun of me?" He sank back against his bed, chuckling slightly. I lifted his hips, sliding both pieces of remaining clothing off in one swoop. Ethan squeaked at the sudden exposure, and I laughed slightly, inching down the bed so that I was at face level with his cock. "This okay?" 

"Please," he murmured, hips jerking slightly. Using one hand to hold them down, I started biting at his thighs, sprinkling kisses everywhere but his dick. "M-mark, stop teasing." His voice was breathy, and I chuckled softly, sucking hickies into his skin. 

"So impatient." But I obliged him, pressing a feather-light kiss to his tip. His loud whines were music to my ears, and I murmured, "Good boy," finally taking half of him into my mouth. 

"Oh, fuck, Mark," he breathed, head hitting his pillow as I gently bobbed my head. "D-don't stop." 

I pulled away, his hips bucking enough that his tip brushed against my chin. "Don't wake up Kathryn," I warned quietly. "She asked for that especially. Can you do that, baby?" 

"Y-yeah," he replied. I took his length back into my mouth, humming at the taste of precum. A quick look up was the most beautiful picture I'd ever seen; Ethan with his fist in his mouth, biting down on his knuckles, eyes squeezed shut in pleasure. 

The only sounds in his dark room were my wet mouth bobbing up and down, and the occasional squeak from Ethan as I deepthroated him. But eventually, his hips started to buck up further into my mouth, and his cock swelled even more, so I let up with a lewd popping noise. "Can I make love to you, Ethan? You're so beautiful like this, I can't stand it." 

"Please, Mark," he begged. 

I reached over him to his bedside table, my knuckles brushing past my long-forgotten coffee. My fist closed around the bottle of lube he kept out, and I opened a drawer and grabbed a condom. 

Ethan made a pleading noise, his hips bucking against mine. "Hold on a second, babe," I said through soft laughter, popping off the cap and slicking up my fingers. "Gotta get you open. You look so pretty when you're begging, Eth." 

As he choked out a moan at the praise, I circled a slick finger around his entrance, fingertip dipping inside. "M-mark, please, please," he murmured, shifting his hips so that my finger slipped inside. 

"Anything for you, darling," I replied equally as softly, shallowly thrusting the finger and curling it every so often. A few moments later I slipped two more in, drawing a gasp from the man below me. 

He was a sight to behold. Pupils blown wide, mouth hanging open, hands fisting his sheets. His hair was fluffed up more than usual, and I couldn't tell if it was bedhead or if it was from the blowjob. It didn't really matter. All that mattered was that he looked amazing, and my heart panged at the thought of him not loving himself. "You're beautiful, Eth, you know that?" 

He only whined, grinding back against my stilled fingers. "Mark..." 

"No, you are," I said reassuringly, bringing my dry hand up to his face to bring our lips together. "You're the most beautiful boy I've ever seen in my entire life. You're plain amazing, so amazing it's offensive that you think otherwise." 

His beautiful, wide eyes became shiny. "M-mark..." 

"I love you so much, Ethan." 

The tears spilled over, trying their hardest to slide down his cheeks, but gravity ignored their wants. I kissed the moisture off his face, curling my fingers and drawing a gasp from his beautiful lips. "Please, Mark," he begged, "I love you so much, too, please, Mark, I need you, I love you, pl-" 

I cut him off, gently placing a finger on his lips. "Gimme a sec, okay?" He nodded quietly, still blinking tears out of his eyes. I pulled my fingers out, quickly sliding on the condom, slicking up my dick, and slipping inside, groaning at the tightness. "Fuck, you feel amazing, you are amazing." 

"Move," he whispered, and I did, setting an achingly slow pace. Each minute movement sent jolts of pleasure through my body, and Ethan spasmed beneath me. 

We just breathed for a while, my cock dragging against his walls. His hand snaked up my arm to tangle in my hair, and I leaned closer to him, murmuring gentle affirmations into his ear and nibbling at his neck. "M-mark, please." 

I moved a bit faster, rolling my hips directly against his prostate. He moaned softly with each thrust, his hips moving to meet mine. "'M close," I murmured, and he nodded frantically, his pacing changing along with mine as I rocked into him faster and faster before burying myself inside him to finish. As the waves of euphoria dragged over me, I fumbled blindly, my hand covering his on his dick. We stroke up and down in sync before Ethan was finishing on my chest and his stomach. 

God, they've talked about post-nut clarity, but this is something else. 

"Fuck," I muttered, pulling out and tying off the condom, throwing it haphazardly towards his trash can. "Ethan, I'm not just saying this because you're a sex god, but you're the most attractive person I've ever seen. I love being with you, around you, getting to hang out with you every single day." 

"I love you too, Mark," he murmured quietly. 

"I hate that you're insecure," I continued, rolling off of him and laying down on the bed. "I know you can't help it, and you don't like me to bring it up all the time, but your anxiety is wrong about everything. I love you so much, so much that I can't even explain it when I'm this tired. It's bone-deep." 

"How about you explain how much you love me when I'm not about to fall asleep?" 

"You've got a deal, babe," I murmured. He shifted his head from his pillow to my shoulder, and I wrapped an arm around him. "I love you." 

"Love you too, Markie."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved writing that one a LOT! I hope you can tell, and I hope you enjoyed!  
> ALSO feel free to give me tips on writing smut! I'm an amateur (as you can probably tell); I can count the number of sex scenes I've written on my fingers.  
> ALSO ALSO if anyone else reading this has experienced a panic or anxiety attack, and/or has depression and/or anxiety, is hyperfixiation normal? Like for me something has to happen three times or it makes me freak out really bad, and I can't tell if that's just the anxiety or if it's something else, like OCD.


	19. Epiphany

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by o_OAsu_ChanO_o: "Request if you wanna take itttt; Maybe they’re recording an unus annus video and it’s a flirting battle over the facetime cams (as it would be set real time, aka LA lock down), and they start recalling older times when they would “flirt” with each other (referencing back to markiplier makes and such). It goes a little too far and ... maybe they realize how genuine they were being at the time? Feelings mush X3. Take your time if you decide to pick this up!!! Keep up the wonderful works of pure art!!! :D"

Request: "Request if you wanna take itttt; Maybe they’re recording an unus annus video and it’s a flirting battle over the facetime cams (as it would be set real time, aka LA lock down), and they start recalling older times when they would “flirt” with each other (referencing back to markiplier makes and such). It goes a little too far and ... maybe they realize how genuine they were being at the time? Feelings mush X3. Take your time if you decide to pick this up!!! Keep up the wonderful works of pure art!!! :D" 

Requested: 03-25-2020, 11:56 PM EST 

Started: 04-07-2020, 11:40 PM EST 

Finished: 04-21-2020, 11:10 AM EST 

The two boys were laughing over their Facetime call, relishing the form of human contact. Though they would never admit it out loud, even though their ideas usually came with a sour twist, they missed filming together. And they especially missed their hour of hanging out before they turned on the camera and slipped into their personas. 

Mark couldn't even remember what Ethan had said that had them both keeling over laughing, and he didn't really care. He missed his friend. A lot. When the only human contact you have is your ex-girlfriend, it's easy to get a little crazy, and Ethan had noticed. The former gymnast had the luck of being roommates with a good friend; nothing more, nothing less. 

A small part of Mark wished they were roommates, and he wasn't sure if it was because he wanted to see the boy more often or because it would make filming that much easier. 

And with how lonely he was, he honestly didn't care which. 

"Dude, you're insane to think that's not funny," Ethan said, trying to stifle his laughter but just ending up biting down on his hand. "That's, like, the funniest thing I've ever seen." 

"You have the sense of humor of a twelve-year-old," Mark shot back, giggling despite himself. 

"What do you have against twelve-year-olds?" 

"Nothing!" Mark exclaimed, sticking his tongue out slightly. "It's just that we've got a more... REFINED sense of humor." 

Ethan snorted. "That's not true. C'mon, Mark, let's start the video." 

"Yes huh!" 

"Mark, we literally have an entire series on both of our YouTubes where we lose our shit because of the words 'goo' and 'cunt'." 

His jaw fell open, and Ethan smirked, turning on his camera and starting a recording in OBS. "W-wait, c'mon, that's not the point! You were practically a teenager back then! You've matured a lot!" He sputtered, tripping over his words. Ethan, being wittier than Mark? Practically unheard of. 

"No, I haven't!" 

"Stop arguing with mee," he whined, drawing out the 'e' in 'me'. "Let me winn. For once." 

"Let's start the videoo," Ethan whined back mockingly. Mark scoffed in fake-offense, sticking his tongue out at his phone a little. "And you say you're mature?" 

"I never said I was mature," Mark corrected, a smile forming on his face. "I said my SENSE OF HUMOR was REFINED." 

"That's not true either!" 

Mark let out a good-natured sigh, pushing his hair out of his face and securing his headphones. Even though the two had ended Touchus Annus, he still wanted to keep germs away. If everyone did their part, maybe they could get back to filming Unus Annus videos in person again. 

He hoped that'd happen sooner rather than later. 

"We really should start the video, though," Ethan replied, a soft smile still on his face. "My camera's gonna die at this rate, I'm already at seventy percent." 

"What kinda camera do you have?" Mark asked incredulously. "That's the quickest drain of battery I've ever seen." 

"To be fair, it's been streaming video non-stop for almost two hours." 

Mark's eyes widened at Ethan's statement. "It's already been two hours?" 

Ethan looked closely at his computer, shooting back, "One hour, fifty-two minutes, and ten seconds." 

"Yeah, we really should start recording." 

The video they were filming first that day was pretty straightforward. They were going to be looking at some fanworks on YouTube. "No fanfiction today," Ethan said, smirking into the camera. 

Mark laughed. "Never fanfiction ever." 

"Fair enough. I've got a couple queued up, I can try and share my screen." 

"Sounds good to me," Mark replied easily. "Do y'know how to do it?" 

Ethan nodded, humming affirmatively. Soon enough Ethan's browser popped up on Mark's screen, a tab already opened to YouTube. "Why do you use light mode, Mark? It's such an eyesore." 

The older had to agree, Ethan's darkened screen was a lot easier on the eyes. "Pisses off the viewers." 

Ethan's laugh rang out over the FaceTime call, the sound warming Mark's heart. Man, he really misses human contact a lot, huh? "That's fair enough. Sounds like a very Markiplier thing to do." 

"I don't know if I should take that as an insult or a compliment," Mark muttered, merely watching as Ethan's mouse moved over the first video in his 'Watch Later' playlist. 

This time, Ethan's laugh was more teasing. "Why not both?" he giggled. Mark laughed along with him, quickly quieting as the video started. It became clearer and clearer as the videos played through that Ethan had picked ones biased towards 'Crankiplier'. 

"I wanna pick one!" Mark whined overdramatically. "Yours are about sexual stuff!" 

Ethan giggled again, merely shrugging. "No, they're not. But go ahead, be my guest." 

The two made their way through a chunk of the 'modern' videos before Mark got the great idea to sort through compilations pre-Unus Annus. "All of these comments are so shippy," Mark complained. 

"Shut up! You're the one that said my videos were 'too sexual'!" Ethan put 'too sexual' in air quotes, grimacing at his phone's camera. Mark stuck out his tongue in response. "Besides, can you blame them? Jeez, the things we did..." 

"Remember when we duct-taped ourselves together for a charity stream?" 

"We should do that again once quarantine is over for twenty-four hours or something." 

"Yeah." 

The two sat in a semi-sad silence. They both missed each other so badly, but neither dared to say it. Not on camera. Not when they're talking about flirting. 

Wait, Ethan thinks. Was that flirting, or were we just joking around? He lets Mark talk to his camera for a moment while he pondered. How should he know how he felt years ago? Which raises another question; how long has his heart panged for every time he heard Mark's name? 

Oh my God, he's in love with Mark. He's been in love with Mark. For a long time. 

"Right, Eth?" 

"Huh?" The younger asked, still dazed. How can this be? How did he not realize it before? Why now? 

Mark rolled his eyes good-naturedly, blowing a strand of hair out of his face. "I said that we were flirting pretty hardcore even back then. Right?" 

Ethan dumbly asked, "Flirting?" 

"Yes," Mark said slowly. "Flirting. Y'know, where you do romantic stuff trying to get another person's attention?" His brown eyes widened, and he unconsciously muttered, "Wait..." 

Both were having an epiphany, and neither knew about the other's predicament. Where was the line drawn between friendly joking and flirting? If they were being honest, neither remembered when it started. They just knew that it must've started before Markiplier Makes, and it's still happening. 

Mark was reflecting back on his previous relationships. The way he perked up whenever Amy walked into the room. The way his heart fluttered and his face flushed anytime someone mentioned her. All those signs he noticed were a fraction of what he felt for Ethan. He'd been sincerely flirting for more than a year unconsciously. Sometimes he loved his ability to stay ignorant about what was happening to him, but this was NOT one of those times. 

Ethan was wondering why the hell he hadn't noticed earlier. He knew all the signs (his previous relationships were a testament to his lackluster social skills, since they were previous, but he still managed to date them so that had to count for something), hell, he was _conscious_ of the signs. He never wondered why his heart pounded a little bit harder when Mark was shirtless. He didn't think twice about the rush of joy he got when Mark would crack a joke. How had he been so blind? 

Funnily enough, they were both blind to each other. Thankfully for them, those social skills (or lack thereof) were going to be their knight in shining armor. 

"Y-you okay, Mark?" Ethan asked, face heating up merely addressing him. Why'd he have to act like this all of a sudden? It was still Mark, regardless of how Ethan felt about him. 

Strong, handsome, caring, kind, funny Mark... 

Ethan missed his slightly sane thought process that existed before his realization. Rest in peace Ethan's ability to function; wait, he never had that. 

"I'm fine!" Mark exclaimed defensively. "It's just kinda weird to look back at all the flirting we did." 

"Was it flirting, or was it joking?" 

Mark blinked at that, not expecting Ethan to read his mind. "W-what?" 

"You heard me, Mark. Was it flirting, or was it joking?" 

Ethan sounded unusually nervous. Sure, he got anxious from time to time, but the revelation in his mind had him shaken. He bit his lip, squirming slightly in his chair, while Mark merely stared at him in silence. "Mark?" 

His voice jolted Mark out of his daze. Ethan, looking at him with worry clear on his face. "I... b-both?" Mark said, the statement sounding more like a question than anything. 

The other man let out a long sigh of relief, chuckling slightly. "Me too." 

"I miss you a lot." 

"I miss you too, Mark. I never really noticed how much I actually meant it until you brought it up." 

"Me either," Mark admitted, starting to fidget in his seat too. "Dude, I honestly have no idea how to talk about my emotions, so..." 

"Me either," Ethan echoed. "What if we went on a date after all of this was over?" 

Mark let out a dreamy sigh. "Sounds good to me. Dinner, maybe a movie." 

"In what order?" 

"Movie first, obviously," Mark said, rolling his eyes happily. "It'll give you time to build up your appetite." 

"But then you fill up on popcorn!" Ethan protested. The other man laughed, leaning an arm against his desk and resting his hand on his face. "That's another hundred dollars." 

"I thought we ended it since you can't stop touching yours?" 

"Shut up." 

They both laughed at that. They were going to be okay. 

Just sucks for them that they're both so impatient.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW I'm back!  
> If you don't care where I've been, here's a nice little note: I'll be publishing a total of seven oneshots this week, so I don't go back on my one-month guarantee! We've got at least one more coming later today, maybe even two, so keep your eyes peeled for that!  
> Wanna know what happened to me? Keep reading!  
> I won't go into the gory details, but I got into a pretty bad car crash. My dad was driving my brother and I to give my grandma some groceries, and he wasn't paying attention to where he was going and drove straight into another car. He broke two ribs and his wrist, and my brother got a concusion. I'm okay, physically.  
> The crash kinda brought on a depressive episode, which kinda sucks. I've been stuck not having any inspiration (or emotion in general) for weeks. As you can see by the dates, that oneshot took almost two weeks to finish.  
> I'm doing a little better now; I've got enough motivation to finish some schoolwork and write, so that's good enough for me. Like I said, I'll be publishing more oneshots later today and throughout the week, so stay tuned! Hope you enjoyed!


	20. Touche*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by skylarlazuli: "I love this omg! Could you do some sort of a smutty one shot where Mark tops Ethan, and Ethan is just an absolute bottom?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains smut! It's pretty much entirely smut! Read at your own risk!

Request: "I love this omg! Could you do some sort of a smutty one shot where Mark tops Ethan, and Ethan is just an absolute bottom?" 

Requested: 03-26-2020, 2:55 AM EST 

Started: 04-18-2020, 11:15 PM EST 

Finished: 04-26-2020, 2:35 AM EST 

**Ethan**

"Chica, you're a good girl!" I exclaimed in my signature baby voice, scratching behind her ear. "It's okay, what a good girl!" 

"I'm honestly surprised we were able to keep her off you," Amy said. "Especially with the taser, and Mark being so aggressive." 

Said aggressor's eyes flicked up to mine, and I swallowed heavily. He was definitely onto me. 

Not that there was anything to be on to! 

...oh, who am I kidding. Mark towering over me... even the thought makes me shiver. And Mark noticed, on the first take we did. Before Chica started barking and jumping on him. He noticed me squirming around in my seat, the wild look in my eyes. That's the opposite of something you want your coworker/best friend to notice. 

"She's a good pup," Mark murmured, squatting down next to me to pet her. "I think that's a wrap for today. Thanks again for filming, Ames." 

"Of course!" 

It blew my mind how civil they could be, even though they'd only broken up a month ago. Mika and I had broken up three months ago and still weren't on good terms. "See ya, Amy!" 

"See you two tomorrow!" And with that, she was gone, leaving me alone with Mark. And Chica. But mostly Mark. 

I could feel him looking at me, but I pointedly ignored him, still cooing at Chica. You could cut the tension in the room with a knife. This is the first time something weird or super sexual has happened since we've both been single. And it definitely doesn't help that my pining is more obvious than my acne used to be. 

That train of thought wouldn't get me anywhere except more hard then I already am. I turned my attention away from the internal gay panic and focused more on the dog in front of me. Chica's tail was wagging furiously, and I'm honestly surprised Mark doesn't have more problems with it knocking everything over. She nuzzled into my chest as I scratched behind her ear, tail thumping impossibly harder. 

"I didn't know you were such a bottom." 

Mark's sultry voice broke me out of my train of thought. I left one hand resting on Chica's head, the pads of my fingers tracing through the silky hair. "What's that supposed to mean, Mark?" 

He laughed, a speck of annoyance marring the sound. Yeah, I was definitely screwed. "What do you think it means, Ethan? I know you're hard, I just didn't know that me towering over you, dominating you, would get you there." 

That voice. He was being like this on purpose. He loved playing up that voice for the camera, but any time we made lewd references in real life, his voice would drop an octave and melt with honey. But this voice was raw. Like he'd already been blowing me, like he'd just finished fucking me deep into the mattress. 

How the hell am I supposed to deny the fact that I'm a bottom when I have fantasies like that? 

"Who said that's why I'm hard?" I challenged, drawing another laugh from Mark. 

"So you're a brat, too?" The phrase made me visibly shudder, and he laughed again. "Y'know what, Ethan? Don't try to deny it, we both know the truth. You're a bottom." 

"I-" 

"Don't interrupt me," he warned, and I squirmed, my jeans getting tighter by the second. "I have an idea. How about we go up to my bed and I fuck you until you can't speak, huh? Until you can't come anymore? How does that sound?" 

My mouth dried up as he stared at me, head cocked to the side. Was that a rhetorical question? I honestly couldn't tell. The patience in his eyes said he was waiting for an answer, so I stuttered, "Um, y-yeah..." 

"Speak up, darling." 

A whimper escaped my mouth, and I immediately clamped a hand over my lips, a blush quickly rising to my cheeks. Damn. Could I BE more submissive? Why do I have to get hard so easily? Why? I carefully peeled my hand away from my mouth, saying in a shaky voice, "What the f-fuck is going on?" 

He smiled genuinely, softly, a stark contrast from a mere minute ago. "I'm single, you're single, you're hot, and I'm not blind. I can see the way you look at me, Eth, and honestly, it's kind of adorable. Also, I'm sick of you denying that you're a bottom." 

"I'm not a bottom!" 

I was pinned to the floor in an instant. Mark's hips straddled mine, his arms holding mine against the carpet. In a sharp movement, he ground against me, and a whine flew out of my mouth. I struggled against his grip, face burning. "Keep that up and I'll fuck you right here on the floor," he purred into my ear, nipping softly at the lobe. "With your consent, of course." 

"I..." 

"Cat got your tongue?" 

I stuck out said muscle, and he giggled slightly, hair falling into his face. How can I find him so dominating when his facade breaks so easily? "You've g-got my consent for us to fuck in a BED," I said pointedly, inwardly surprised I didn't stumble over more of the words. "The thing is, I'm not a bottom, s-so I don't know how you expect this to-" 

He cut off my stream of bullshit with a steaming kiss, leaving me panting into his mouth. I whined as he pulled away, lips following his like a magnet. "Ethan Mark Nestor-Darling," he said sternly, "stop denying it." 

"Make me." The words spilled out of my mouth before I could stop them, breathy yet firm. A wave of annoyance washed over his face and he leaned back on his heels, pulling me to my feet and throwing me over his shoulder. "M-mark!" 

"You said make me!" he exclaimed, kicking open his bedroom door and letting my body flop against the mattress. "Strip." 

It was crazy how quickly his tone shifted, from playful to lustful. I quickly grabbed at the bottom of my shirt, yanking over my head, letting my hands trail down to my jeans. Once I'd popped the button Mark took over, yanking them down harshly, leaving me in nothing but boxers. Meanwhile, he was fully dressed. "How am I gonna fuck you if you've got all your clothes on?" 

He rolled his eyes, climbing over me and kissing me again. Fireworks turned into wildfires when he rolled his hips against mine, eliciting a whimper from me and a held-back groan from him. "Maybe, just maybe, I'm gonna make good on my promise." 

"And what was that again?" I panted. 

"Make you come until you can't anymore." My body stiffened under his, and he sat up, head cocked to the side. "If you wanna stop at any point, just say so, Eth," he said softly. "I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable, just trying to make you overload with pleasure." 

"I've n-never c-come more than once at one... at one time," I admitted, squirming under him. 

"Do you want to?" 

"Uh..." He merely stared at me, obviously not moving until I answered him. "I t-think so, yeah. Yes." 

A soft smile rose to his face, and he leaned down, connecting my lips to his. "Well then," he murmured, breath hot against my skin, "I'd better get started." 

I pulled his lips back to mine, whining softly as his tongue slipped into my mouth. His hips were incessant against mine, the drag of his jeans feeling amazing against my clothed bulge. It quickly became not enough, but I wasn't gonna give Mark the satisfaction of begging. That's exactly what he wanted, I could already tell. So I just let him thrust his hips against mine, whimpering softly into his mouth. 

I could already feel a pit in my stomach boiling. How am I this easy? It's barely been a minute! "M-mark," I choked out, and he smirked, only rolling his hips faster. The pressure built and built, and I gasped with every thrust, rolling my hips up to meet his. "A-ah, I'm g-gonnaA-" 

"So soon?" He asked, bringing his lips down to my neck. "Tell me, Eth, how many times do you think you can go? Do you wanna come like this? Or maybe from me sucking you off? What about me inside you?" 

"Y-yes," I stuttered, tears pooling in the corners of my eyes. "I w-want it ah-all, p-please!" 

"Come for me," he said in that honey-smooth voice, and I was gone, my boxers getting soaked. "You're really fucking easy, y'know that? How have you ever had sex before when you come that fast?" 

"I don't come that fast," I shot back weakly. 

"Well then what just happened?" 

"S-shut up." A blush rose to my face as he laughed, rolling off me and laying at my side. "What next?" 

"Three or four?" I turned and looked at him, slightly confused. He chuckled, before repeating, "Three or four?" 

"Three or four what?" 

He sighed, pushing himself up onto his elbows. "How many times can you go?" 

I squirmed, trying not to think too hard about it. Whenever I got into a thought spiral, it always ruined the mood. "Wait, why isn't two an option?" 

"Well, I'm gonna make you come off my fingers, which'll be two, and then I'm gonna fuck you. My question is, if I'm fucking you, and by that time you've already come twice, can you come one or two more times after that?" 

"I'm not a bottom!" I exclaimed, and he rolled back over me, a hungry look in his eyes as he pinned my arms above me. 

"I'm trying to give you time to calm down, brat," he growled, thrusting against me again. I gasped, my fingers digging into the pillows behind us. It was so sensitive, so much pleasure, that it hurt. Bad. "I'm willing to keep going, but I don't think you wanna be overstimmed for your first time." 

"First time?" 

He smiled, planting a kiss on the tip of my nose. "We can talk about that after you come your brains out. By the way," he continued, rolling his hips against mine again and drawing a gasp from my lips, "that can't be comfortable. How about you take those boxers off, huh?" 

I curled my fingers under the waistband and pulled them off, gasping as the air hit my sensitive dick. "Where should I?" 

"Just throw 'em anywhere," he murmured, kissing my temple as I tossed the ruined boxers across the room. "You get to do my laundry, though, when we're done." 

"That's not fair!" 

"Is too!" He exclaimed. "You're the one that's gonna get everything messy!" 

"You're the one that made me come in my boxers!" I shot back, giggling slightly. "Besides, you're- wait, are you only coming once?" 

He nodded, cocking his head to the side. "How do you expect me to fuck you if I've already come? Came? I don't know, man." 

"I'm not-" I cut myself off at Mark's warning look, taking a deep breath through my nose. "Anyway, I don't think that's fair to you if you're making me come so many times and you only get to once." 

"Eth, I don't know if I can get it up again if you make me come," he warned, but my hands had already trailed down to his pants, fingers fumbling against the button. 

"We can always take a break," I responded, sliding the garment down his legs and throwing it in the general direction of my boxers. "Lemme take care of you, Markimoo." 

He laughed at the nickname, asking, "What are you gonna do?" 

"First, I'm gonna get a condom," I shot back. "Got any?" 

"Duh," he giggled, reaching over me to his bedside table and opening the drawer, drawing out a large box (presumably full of condoms) and a tube of lube. "Do your worst, Nestor." 

I chuckled slightly. "Well, it might be my worst, considering I've never sucked dick before." 

"I still thought I was straight at breakfast, so at least you've got a leg up on me," he joked, and I laughed again. This was... kind of perfect. We're still the same as we were two hours ago, still friends, still bantering. And I'm two minutes away from sucking his dick. 

I drew a condom out of the box, discarding the wrapping and rolling it onto his dick. He groaned at the friction, and I smirked, jerking him a bit before pressing a feather-light kiss to his length. "D-don't tease," he gasped, thrusting against my face. I whined at the motion, finally taking the head into my mouth and sucking gently. 

He gasped loudly, bucking his hips a fraction of an inch. "N-not gonna last l-long," he muttered as I took more into my mouth. "Been hard since the f-first take of the v-video, you're so f-fucking h-hot." 

I moaned at that, taking a bit more and swirling my tongue around the tip. His hips bucked forward a bit more, and I took that as my cue to keep going, bobbing my head gingerly. For my first time, it didn't seem like I was doing that bad. He was unraveling below me, both hands fisted in the sheets. 

Going a bit faster had huge effects on him. He started thrusting softly into my mouth, gasping, and when I looked up to him, he was biting down on his forearm. I pulled off his dick for a moment, murmuring, "Fuck my mouth." 

He blinked at me a few times. "What?" 

"F-fuck my mouth," I said a bit louder, pulling his hands off the sheets and guiding one to my head. As his fingers nervously wove themselves into my hair, I sunk back down onto his cock, going further than I ever had. 

He was the only one that choked. 

That was kinda weird, I thought, letting my throat relax as Mark shallowly thrusted into my mouth. Did I not have a gag reflex? I just couldn't breathe; I didn't feel like I was choking, though. I pushed myself further down, the tip of my nose brushing the thin trail of hair at the bottom of his stomach. Mark gasped like a drowning man, pulling at my hair and holding me in place. "I'm g-g-gonna-" 

I pulled off, ignoring the weird feeling of him sliding out, and started rapidly jerking his cock. He let out a pitiful cry, pulsing as he finished. I kept going through the aftershock, hand moving so quickly it almost blurred, until he pushed me off, breathing heavily. 

"W-wow," he murmured, pulling me back up to eye level by my shoulder. I flopped back on the bed next to him, looking over to him. He looked blissfully tired, his eyes sparkling with some emotion. Love? Lust? I couldn't tell. All I knew was that he wanted me, bad. "Pretty good head for your first time." 

"Is it a test or something?" I asked, both of us laughing. 

Mark pulled me closer, into an awkward hug considering I was half hard and he was still wearing a used condom. "Obviously. I'd give you a B, maybe a B+." 

"Only a B+?" I asked teasingly, snuggling up closer to him. "Oh, sir, what can I do to get extra credit?" 

He snorted, bringing a hand up to pet my hair. "Fuck you." 

"I'm waiting," I shot back, and he laughed hard at that. 

"I'm SORRY that I just CAME, dude, but-" 

"Don't dude me when I had your dick in my mouth two minutes ago!" That made him fall silent, a blush rising to his face. "God, and you say I'M the bottom." 

His eyes narrowed. "Y'know, I don't need to use anything but my hands to get you off, so how about I do that? Maybe you'll finally shut up if you've got a few fingers up your ass? That sound good to you?" 

I rolled my eyes, enjoying the small smile that appeared on his mouth. As much as I enjoyed it, I kept up the bratty facade and pulled him into a kiss, hand weaving into his hair. He groaned into my mouth as I tugged at it, pulling away in an instant. "Just because I like hair pulling doesn't mean I'm a bottom, Ethan," he said, annoyance clear in his voice. "Flip over before I make you." 

I did as he said without another word, wiggling my exposed ass teasingly. A cold digit, slick with lube, pressed at my entrance, and I gasped at the temperature. "Ready?" 

"Do it," I murmured, and he slipped inside with surprisingly little resistance. He thrusted into me softly, and- 

Fuck. 

I thrusted my hips against the sheets in rhythm with the finger inside of me. "Ah, ah, ah," I panted, trying to shove my hips back. "M-more, Mark, more, please." 

"You're so easy," he murmured, pressing a kiss to the small of my back before pulling his finger out and pressing the tips of two against my entrance. He tried to inch them in, and I cried out in pain, fisting the sheets hard. "How does two hurt that bad?" 

"I've n-never- ah- had anything in my ass-s before," I murmured. "G-go slow, Mark, ow." 

"Sorry." He got up to his first knuckle after a moment, letting his hand still for me to get used to the stretch. It hurt. Bad. It felt like I was going to tear. "Keep going?" 

"Y-yeah." 

He popped open the cap of the lube, spreading a bit more over my entrance and the part of his fingers that weren't inside me. My world started tearing itself apart as he inched his fingers in further, leaving me panting against the bed. "Fuck, ow, stop moving." 

"I'm staying completely still, Eth," he said, an ounce of concern in his voice. "Do you want me to take them out?" 

"No!" I exclaimed quickly, a blush rising to my face. "N-no," I repeated, my voice more measured, "j-just hold on." 

He sat there, fingers unmoving in my ass, pressing feather-light kisses to my back until I told him he could keep going. The remaining part of the digits slid in without too much pain, his hand resting against my entrance. "This is so weird," he murmured, wiggling his fingers around and brushing against the walls. I gasped; fuck, that felt good. "Have I got your prostate yet?" 

"I d-don't think so, no." 

"Can I try?" 

I took a deep breath, clenching the sheets in my fist. "Y-yeah." He wiggled his fingers a bit more, pulling them out almost all the way and thrusting them back in. A mewl escaped my mouth, but my brain didn't have the energy to be embarrassed, the curl of pain and pleasure overwhelming my senses. "Ah, ah, ah, M-mark, M-mark, please," I begged, "k-keep going." 

"I've barely done anything," he said, amazed, continuing to thrust his fingers into me, curling them every so often. "Three?" 

"F-fuck, yeah," I muttered, pressing back against them and biting down hard on my lip as a third pressed against my entrance. That one didn't hurt as bad, but the stretch still burned. "M-mark, please, I'm ready, just fuck me," I begged shamelessly, humping back against his fingers as he stayed still. "Just- do something, please, fuck." 

He didn't reply, thrusting deeper and curling, as if he was looking for- 

I keened the moment he hit my prostate, fisting the sheets so hard I wouldn't be surprised if my knuckles turned white. "Mark, fuck, a-ah, I-I'm g-gonna-" 

"Do it," he said, his voice somehow deeper and raspier than before. A hand flew up to my face, and I bit down hard on my already-abused knuckles, eyes screwing shut as the pleasure slammed through my body. The stinging fingers fell from my mouth as it opened in a silent scream, hips bucking against the bed as I rode out the orgasm. 

My voice returned as his fingers stilled, whimpers flying out of my mouth. "Pl-please, just fuck me," I begged, gasping as my oversensitive dick dragged against the sheets. "M-mark." 

"Shh," he said soothingly, rubbing his free hand along my back. "It's okay, hold on, Eth. You're gonna be a little tight after coming, so give it a minute." 

I wordlessly whimpered, trying to shove my hips back against his fingers. And to think I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of begging less than an hour ago. Here I was, hips overtop a cum-soaked sheet, three fingers up my ass, begging to be fucked moments after coming. "Flip back over, Eth, wanna see you," he murmured, sliding his fingers out of my hole. I whined at the emptiness, muscles clenching around nothingness, but flipped over nonetheless. A low, uncomfortable sound escaped from deep in my throat as cold air hit my cum-covered dick. "You come a LOT, dude." 

"Don't dude me," I murmured, trying to relax against the mattress. I merely watched as he slid a condom over his hard length and coated it in lube, stroking his dick slowly, teasingly. "Don't tease me either," I muttered, and he smiled softly, bumping the head of his dick against my entrance. 

"Ready?" 

"I've only been begging for the past five- oh." My witty remark was cut off as he started inching his way inside, the pain mixing with pleasure until I couldn't tell them apart. I bit down hard on my lip, staring up at Mark's wide-eyed expression. His head was thrown back, and he was letting out a low groan that sounded like it was ripped from his very core. 

As soon as his hips hit my ass, he panted, "'M not gonna last long." I nodded in agreement, pushing impossibly further against his dick. 

"J-just f-fuck me," I stuttered, the plethora of sensations overloading my senses. He listened for once, pulling almost all the way out before slamming back in. 

We both moaned loudly at the feeling, his hands sliding up my body to tangle in my hair, mine finding purchase in the sheets below. Mark (thankfully) decided to pick up the pace, fucking into me harder and faster than I thought possible. A strangled gasp fell from my mouth with every thrust. 

"Ah, Mark, c-close aga-a-in," I choked out, curling the sheets in my fists and practically yanking them off the bed. A gentle hand slipped down my body, across my chest and down my torso, before roughly finding its way to my dick and grasping it tightly. As soon as his hand made contact I was gone, shouting Mark's name as I came. A few more thrusts and he was filling up another condom, collapsing over top of me in a sweaty heap. 

"That kinda escalated quickly," I said shakily after a moment. He laughed against my skin, pressing a kiss to my ear lobe. 

"Yeah. Um, about me saying that this'd be the first time, would you maybe like to be boyfriends?" 

I gasped in mock-shock, playfully pushing him to the side and gasping for real as his softening cock slid out of my ass. "Have you no class, Mark? At least take me on a date first!" 

"I fucking hate you." 

"Says the one who asked me to fuck minutes after seeing I was hard," I shot back. 

He laughed again, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me closer, burying his face in my hair. "Touche."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The way I roll is finishing something minutes before it's due. For example, by my vow, at the time of publishing, I only have 15 minutes left. Also, I have 50 pages of work for ONE (yes, just one) class that's due by 11:59 PM EST tonight, and I'm five pages in. I've screwed myself hardcore.  
> Also, I know I said I won't post on weekends, but shhhh. Hope you enjoyed!


	21. Stuck*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by random_gay_user: "Hi! Love your fics, I've come to request dom Ethan ;) hehehe, Do you happen to remember Mark's Human pinata video? I think you get the idea lmao"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! This chapter contains smut! Read at your own risk!

Request: "Hi! Love your fics, I've come to request dom Ethan ;) hehehe, Do you happen to remember Mark's Human pinata video? I think you get the idea lmao" 

Requested: 03-26-2020, 5:07 PM EST 

Started: 04-24-2020, 12:45 PM EST 

Finished: 04-27-2020, 11:05 PM EST 

Mark was stuck. 

Not metaphorically, like he usually was. No, he was physically stuck, unable to move. He'd been trying to get into his 'BDSM rig', as Ethan and Tyler so lovingly called it, for a video. Ethan was planning on coming over to do a sequel to the human pinata video. In an hour. AN HOUR. Mark just wanted to test if it could still hold him, if the ropes weren't faulty! You can't blame him, he told himself. But he'd gotten stuck, and now he couldn't move, and his boyfriend was at the grocery store, and even if Ethan wasn't busy, Mark's phone was sitting on the ground next to him. 

It wasn't a stretch to say that he was bored. Tied up with nothing but his thoughts. 

Speaking of his thoughts, they were drifting to Ethan. He loved to dominate Mark, little did the public know. Thankfully. When the fans heard they were in a relationship, a huge debate was sparked about who was the top, most settling on Mark since he was bigger and had a more commanding online presence. 

That couldn't be further from the truth. Mark was putty in Ethan's hands, spoiling his boyfriend by day and getting rewarded by night. Unus Annus was probably his best idea, letting him grow close enough to Ethan for the other man to work up the courage to ask him out. 

Mark smiled softly, thinking back to Unus Annus. It was a great project. He got to work with so many people, meet people who he wouldn't know without it, like Alex. Not to mention getting to spend every day with his closest friends, and later with his boyfriend. 

Ah, his boyfriend. Mark was already impatient for Ethan to get back to his house, something he needed to work on. Ethan'll get here when he gets here, and that's that. There's nothing you can do to speed it up, Mark told himself. You're at the mercy of the world. 

And at the mercy of Ethan. 

Mark took a deep breath at the thought. No, no, don't get hard, you won't be able to get out of it, there's not enough time before recording'll have to start for you to take care of it- 

But it was already too late. Mark was stuck in more ways than one. Why did he still have this stupid thing? If only he hadn't done the surprise party, baiting Ethan into thinking that he forgot their anniversary. This was his final punishment, the video as proof that he'd paid for his sins to soothe their subscribers. With how hard he was, he didn't think he'd even be able to do the video. 

The thought made him whimper. Having to be hard, Ethan doing whatever he wanted to him while he's tied up? Sounds like something straight out of a porno. It probably IS something straight out of a porno. 

Chica quickly stood up from her resting place in the corner, bounding out of the room with a loud bark. "Wait, come back!" Mark called after her, sagging down in the restraints and sighing. He could hear the front door creaking open from his restrained position, struggling against the bonds. "Eth?" 

"Mark?" Ethan called back, stomping up the stairs and turning down the hall until he found Mark, his mouth falling open. He quickly composed himself, though, a smirk appearing on his face. "Guess you already started the fun without me, huh?" 

The restrained man blushed, squirming around a bit more. "S-shut up. Help me out, I was trying to test it and-" 

Ethan stalked forward menacingly, a sinister smile on his face. "Help you out, huh?" 

"Th-that's not what I-" 

"Well then, what's this?" He asked, poking at the very obvious bulge in Mark's jeans. "We've still got an hour before we have to start filming, and I'm pretty sure you don't wanna have a boner while we do. Especially while you're all... restrained." Ethan's smile grew as he continued, "Don't want the fans to figure out you're a kinky little bottom, now do you? Our little secret, huh?" 

Mark squirmed even more against the ropes, pants getting tighter and blush deepening. "I... Eth, w-we don't have enough time?" He phrased it more like a question than a statement, like he was worried that he'd get caught by someone. But that only served to turn him on even more. "I mean, an hour? Also, if we're gonna do that, please let me down?" 

His boyfriend merely smirked at him, having to look up more than usual considering Mark was hanging off the ground. "Baby," Ethan purred, "don't underestimate me. Do you want me to figure out how many times I can make you cum in one hour?" Mark stayed silent, his mouth opening a bit, so Ethan continued, "that's what I thought. A little to get me off, a little to get you off. No more than twenty minutes. I promise. If that's okay." 

Mark smiled slightly at Ethan's care. Even though he loved it when Eth went full dom mode, he loved these soft little moments too, Ethan always making sure that Mark was fine. "I sincerely doubt it, but go ahead and try." 

The smile that'd turned loving quickly shifted back to more of a grimace. "Whore. Anything could get you off, and don't even try to deny it," he tacked on as Mark's mouth opened. "You've gotten off from just my voice before, ruined your pants, all because I asked you too. Just like this. I'd let you do it again, but I know how turned on you get sucking cock." 

Mark whimpered, clapping a hand over his mouth and turning red. "Can you flip over while you're in that, or do I have to take you out of it?" Ethan asked, and Mark mustered all his core energy and flipped over, hanging practically upside down. 

"If you slide those ropes out further, you can get me flatter." 

Ethan smirked again, reaching down to unzip his skinny jeans. "You know your safeword if you're gonna pass out legit. Get the job done quick enough and you won't need to worry." 

He grabbed a condom out of his pocket before shoving his jeans and boxers down. "D-do you just carry around condoms everywhere you go?" He chuckled, the sound immediately quieted when Ethan gave him a dirty look. 

"Never know when my little slut needs my cock." 

Mark shivered, starting to get the slightest bit woozy. Enough blood was flowing to his growing erection that he figured he wouldn't have it all flow to his head, but it didn't matter. "Just l-let me, please." 

"Let you what?" 

His eyes cast downward, Mark shakily replied, "L-let me suck y-you off." 

Ethan smiled. "Good boy." He rolled the condom onto his hard cock, squatting down a bit and feeding his length to Mark. The restrained man hummed happily around the length, swirling his tongue around the tip and leaving Ethan groaning. 

Mark completely forgot about the dizzy feeling in his head as he swallowed Ethan's dick, trying his best to work the shaft without any movement available. He seemed to be doing a good enough job, since Ethan was already panting and leaning against the bars. The dom shoved himself further into Mark's mouth, leaving him gagging. 

He groaned again at the sound of Mark choking on his cock, but Mark just stayed there and took it, thumbs digging into Ethan's thighs. What else could he do? He was completely at Ethan's mercy. The reminder had Mark moaning around his boyfriend's length, the vibrations sending sparks up Ethan's spine. 

"You like this, don't you?" Mark bobbed his head even harder, which Ethan interpreted as a nod. "Like being my little cockslut?" 

Mark moaned again, grip on Ethan's thighs getting impossibly tighter. The latter started slowly thrusting into Mark's mouth, throwing his head back as he choked again. Ethan could feel himself getting closer and closer, thrusts becoming sloppier and harder. 

His boyfriend pushed him off after a moment, right at the precipice. Mark's cheeks were rosy, his hair was mussed, and his lips were swollen. A perfect picture, Ethan'd say if you asked him. But no one was asking him at the moment. Mark did ask him something, though: "C-cum on my face," Mark said, and Ethan raised an eyebrow. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Do it," Mark said, and Ethan let out a content sigh, pulling the condom off his length, throwing it across the room, and forcefully jerking himself until he released all over his boyfriend's face. Mark dutifully closed his eyes as Ethan moaned loudly, thick ropes of come spurting from his dick and spattering across Mark's face. 

"Fuck, Mark," Ethan muttered as his eyes drifted open, the sight before him better than any present. Mark, content, Ethan's cum dripping down his face. "Your turn, huh?" 

"P-please," Mark panted. His control over his gag reflex was nowhere NEAR Ethan's. Mark gagged on his toothbrush (back when he had a manual one), and Ethan could take Mark to the hilt like he was merely breathing. 

Ethan helped him flip back over, Mark gasping as blood suddenly rushed through his entire body. "Legs up on those pegs, darling," Ethan commanded, and Mark did as he asked with a shiver. "Pants off." 

Mark did so again, his leaking cock exposed to the world. Well, his world. Ethan smirked, pulling his pants up and grabbing another condom out of his pocket. He held it out to Mark as his smirk grew. "Put your condom on, baby." 

He whimpered at that, grabbing the rubber from Ethan and rolling it down his length. Without another moment wasted, Ethan sank down all the way on Mark's cock, setting a neck-breaking pattern of bobbing up and down, dipping his head into the slit, and deepthroating him again. 

Already hard as hell from watching Ethan fall apart above him, Mark got close so fast, and Ethan noticed his breath stuttering immediately. He pulled off with a wet pop, and Mark groaned; half at how hot it was, half at the loss of friction. "Beg me to let you cum," Ethan murmured, hand finding Mark's length and stroking him slowly. SO slowly. 

"Ethan, please, I've been good, fuck, p-please let me cum," Mark begged, hips trying to snap into Ethan's hand, but the ropes weren't having any of it. "I- God, please, please, Ethan, you're so fucking hot, let me cum." 

"There you go," Ethan praised, taking the tip back into his mouth suddenly and sucking hard. Mark cried out, spasming as he came. "Good boy." 

Eth sucked on his cock until Mark begged for him to stop, drawing out every moment of his orgasm. He looked up at Mark's cum-covered face and grimaced, calves protesting as he stood up fully. "Let's grab a shower, huh?" 

"Yeah," Mark chuckled. "At least we know the ropes work now. Help me down?" 

"Of course."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M LATE I HATE MYSELF-  
> I'm so so so so so sorry for the delay! My dad decided to throw a fit since we're missing one (1) plate, and then I had a panic attack and passed out. Hope you enjoy anyways!


	22. Punishment?*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains smut! Read at your own risk!  
> Requested by treehousq: "I love this AH. I have a request if you don’t mind! I know it’s kind of cliché, but I love the whole Masochist Mark finds out or already knows that he loves being shocked thing. And Ethan somehow finds out at some point too and when Mark denies that Ethan is in any way a top, Ethan just straight up puts the almighty Mark in his place just from some shocks and dirty words. Whether from tasers(I can’t get Mark biting his lip before Ethan shocked him in the Unus Annus video out of my head) or shock collars, I’m fine either way. But Mark being shocked is one of my most favourite things and I’d love to see it in your awesome style if that’s alright. <3 Keep your health in mind okay? Don’t overwork or anything! You come first. <3"

Request: "I love this AH. I have a request if you don’t mind! I know it’s kind of cliché, but I love the whole Masochist Mark finds out or already knows that he loves being shocked thing. And Ethan somehow finds out at some point too and when Mark denies that Ethan is in any way a top, Ethan just straight up puts the almighty Mark in his place just from some shocks and dirty words. Whether from tasers(I can’t get Mark biting his lip before Ethan shocked him in the Unus Annus video out of my head) or shock collars, I’m fine either way. But Mark being shocked is one of my most favourite things and I’d love to see it in your awesome style if that’s alright. <3 Keep your health in mind okay? Don’t overwork or anything! You come first. <3" 

Requested: 03-27-2020, 10:49 PM EST 

Started: 04-28-2020, 11:15 AM EST 

Finished: 05-04-2020, 12:45 AM EST 

**Mark**

"I can't believe I lost!" I raged, leaning back in my chair. "There's no way you should've won that round!" 

"That means Tyler and I get to choose you a punishment now," Ethan said deviously, setting his Switch controller down on the glass coffee table. "You need to learn to stop making bets, Markimoo, especially when you know you can't win." 

Ethan's derogatory tone made me shiver, but I still exclaimed, "This is so unfair!" 

"How's it unfair?" Tyler asked, chuckling. "You lost the game, Mark. Your actions have consequences." He turned to Ethan, cocking his head to the side. "What should we make him do?" 

Ethan pretended to think about that, finally shrugging after a moment. "I don't really know. Do you have any ideas?" 

"We could always do the shock collar," Tyler suggested, grabbing his bottle of water off the table and unscrewing the cap. "I don't really have any original ideas right now." 

I sucked in a breath at the suggestion, fists clenching. Please don't, please don't- 

"Nah," Ethan murmured, looking at me with a smirk. As relieved as I was that Ethan decided that me getting shocked was a good idea, I already knew that his smirk meant bad news. Probably worse than just taking the shocks and getting it over with. "He likes that too much, it wouldn't even be a punishment anymore." 

My fists clenched even harder, even though I was horrorstruck. How could he know? There's no possible way. Sure, maybe I'd gotten hard during the taser Unus Annus video, but you could barely notice! 

Right? 

Great, now Ethan's got me analyzing everything I've ever done that involved getting shocked. 

There's no way he's being serious, I reassured myself. Just be assertive, and there's no way he'd know that he's right. "What the fuck, Ethan?" I asked, wincing as my voice cracked. My plan flew out the window. Actually, it didn't fly, it was more like jumping out the window. 

"My point exactly!" Ethan said, throwing his hands up in the air. 

As I started to blush, Tyler shook his head and sighed. "You two are fucking insane. I don't need to hear about your sex lives, I'm out. Call me later when you're ready to do a punishment, but I'm not sitting through you two bickering again." 

With that, he stood up and walked out of the room, shutting the front door after a few moments. I glanced over to Ethan, only to see that he was already looking at me, a smirk on his lips. 

"Y'know, I was just guessing," he mused, "but now I wanna see." 

"See what?" I asked, voice trembling slightly. I inwardly cursed myself. You're practically an actor every single day, Mark, why can't you act like this is nothing? 

"Where's the taser?" 

"Excuse me?" 

"The shock collar's fine too," he said, pretending I'd never said anything. "Where are they, Mark?" 

I blushed as I thought about it, the memory of settling the shock collar in beside my sex toys making me scared and aroused. "Tell me what you're gonna do before I get them." 

"I wanna see how turned on you get from getting shocked," Ethan said simply. 

"I don't g-get turned on from it," I shot back. He immediately had me pinned flat against the couch, one hand holding my arms above my head and the other sliding under my shirt. 

"Mark," he purred, shoving a thigh in between my legs and drawing a groan from deep in my chest. "You're hard just thinking about it, baby." 

My argument got weaker and weaker the hornier I got. "I... I'm a top, though. If anyone would like it, it'd be you, since you're the bottom around here." 

He ground his thigh against my hard-on, my eyes rolling back in my head. "A-ah-" 

"We're both switches, Markimoo," Ethan murmured. "Stop being such a brat and tell me where the shock things are." 

I hate that he knows. I hate it so much. He's gonna always use this against me all the time now, and- "Why should I tell you? We might both be switches, Ethan, but I'm the top around here." 

He raised an eyebrow. "Mark, you're the one who's so close to fucking my leg, you're the one with your hands pinned down, and YOU'RE the one on the bottom." 

"Just because I'm on the bottom doesn't mean I'm a bottom," I argued. "Don't you remember riding my cock after the last collab we did? I was on the bottom then, but you were the one bottoming." 

A laugh burst from his mouth, his grip on my wrists loosening ever so slightly. "That doesn't change the fact that you're rutting against my thigh." 

My eyes slid down his face, his body, to his thighs, watching as my hips rutted against his leg completely against my will. "F-fuck," I gasped. "E-Ethan, let's go upstairs, s-so that I can f-fuck you." 

"Are the taser or the shock collar upstairs?" Ethan asked, finally letting go of my hands and rolling off me. 

"Yeah, they both are," I murmured, standing up beside him. Without a word, he roughly grabbed my wrist again, dragging me after him up to my bedroom. "You could stand to leave my fucking wrists alone, jeez." 

"Stop being a bitch, then," he shot back, shoving me back onto the bed. "If you cooperate, then I don't need to hurt you. Even though you probably like it." 

"Liking shocks and liking pain are different!" I exclaimed, immediately clapping a hand over my mouth. 

Ethan giggled, dominant facade cracking like glass under pressure. "Y-you just admitted it? That easy?" 

"Fuck you." 

"No," he corrected, "I'M fucking YOU. Remember the safeword?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Need to use it?" 

I snorted. "Why would I need to use it? It's not like you're going to-" 

My flow of words was cut off as electricity snapped at my right arm. I whimpered as Ethan drew the taser away, cocking his head to the side. "Still good?" He asked, a hint of concern in his voice. 

Concern? Fucking concern? Oh, he thinks he's topping tonight, but he's dead wrong. I grabbed his wrists in a split second, pulling him down onto the bed next to me and rolling over top of him. "You fucking bitch," I growled. It didn't seem to intimidate Ethan, though, a sparkle of mischief clear in his eyes. "You think that you're a fucking top, but-" 

Another shock, this one to my leg. "Mark, I'm pretty sure that I'm right, and that I'M a top tonight," he said, only smiling harder as I glared at him. That little fucker. "Now, we can make this feel good for both of us, or you won't get anything from me for a while." 

"Fine," I muttered, rolling off him and staring up at the ceiling. "You're just mad because I'm a better top than-" 

I don't know why the next shock surprised me, honestly. The tiniest whimper escaped my mouth, the band of my sweatpants stretching impossibly tighter. "You're so easy to shut up," he said softly, smile turning gentle. "Strip." 

Fearing another shock (as good as it felt, I could already feel my muscles getting tired), I did as he asked, quickly tugging my hoodie over my head and slipping down my sweatpants, exposing the obvious tent in my boxers. "All for me, huh? Just from me shocking you and talking to you?" 

"Fuck you," I muttered, shifting uncomfortably. "Take your clothes off." 

"No," he said, smirking, "I don't think I will. Still got lube in the second drawer? Still down for this?" 

My eyes met his, the hazel irises filled with nothing but love. "Maybe less taser, my muscles are starting to hurt. Shock collar and lube are in the second drawer, yeah." 

"Got it," Ethan murmured, leaning forward and gently kissing my nose. "Ready to get fucked like there's no tomorrow Markimoo?" 

I snorted again, facade going back up in an instant. "Wait, I thought t-the lube was for you?" He roughly shoved my boxers down, wrenching my neck forward and snapping the shock collar into place. "Ow!" 

"Stop denying that you're a fucking bottom when you're naked and you have a collar around your neck," he growled, pressing a button on the remote and sending a jolt of electricity through my body. A low whine tore through my throat, and he laughed mercilessly. "You moan like a fucking whore and then have the audacity to act like you're gonna top me? Pathetic." 

"W-where is all t-this c-coming from?" I asked breathlessly, spreading my legs subconsciously as he moved between them. 

Ethan didn't respond, merely tracing a lubed-up finger around my hole. "Eth?" Still no response. "Hello?!" 

"Will you shut up?" He asked, pressing the tip of his finger past the ring of muscle and using his clean hand to get a firm grip on my hair. I whimpered at the sudden blend of sensations, pain feeling like pleasure and pleasure feeling like a high I'd never go down from. "Don't make me shock you. Even though you'd like it, you masochistic slut." 

I gritted my teeth, trying to hold onto the last of my pride. "Says you." 

The quietest click seemed loud in my ears, the sound signaling the sharp shock from the collar around my neck. A whine inched its way between my clenched teeth. "Looks like I was right, huh?" 

"Fuck off," I muttered, gasping as he shoved another finger into my ass. "Eth- ah, ah." 

"You're such a loud, bratty fucking bottom. Do you ever shut up, even in bed?" 

I wasn't sure if he meant for me to answer or not, so I merely bit my lip, breathing heavily as he shallowly thrusted his fingers. "Finally. God, Mark, you're so fucking tight." 

Each time the pads of his fingers brushed my walls sent sparks of pleasure shooting through me. I could hardly think. I'm definitely bottoming more after this. And the moment his hand trailed down my face to my nipple, gently pinching the bud, I was in heaven. "E-Ethan, please," I begged, not even sure exactly what I wanted. More. More of everything. 

"Well, that lasted for two seconds," he chuckled, pulling both fingers out and pressing in a third next to them. "What do you want, Mark?" 

"S-something. Anything. More, p-please." 

Ethan chuckled again. "THE Markiplier, begging ME to do something?" 

"I'm not begging, you fucker, I-" Another shock cut me off, a moan interrupting my sentence. I continued, my voice shaking, "I'm a-asking politely." 

"Calling me a fucker isn't very polite," he said, pouting overexaggeratedly. "Tell me what you want." 

I turned my head to the side, his free hand immediately flying up to capture my chin. "Still good?" 

"Yeah, yeah," I muttered, "Please just fuck me." 

"Huh? Could you speak up a little, Markimoo?" 

"Ethan. Please just fuck me," I said exasperatedly. "Come on." 

He smiled, pulling his fingers out and eliciting a whine from me. "You can't just ask me to fuck you and then expect me to keep my fingers in you forever." 

"Fuck off." 

He shoved me back on the bed, pressing his lubed-up- wait. 

As the object pressed into me, I realized that it wasn't his dick. Ethan didn't even have his pants off yet. "E-eth? What the f-fuck are you-" 

A hand clapped over my mouth, the object still inching further and further in. It felt like my entire world was splitting in two. If this was how Ethan felt all the time, then we're definitely switching out more often. I tried to speak around his hand, but it just came out muffled. I don't know what I was expecting. 

"Are you gonna be quiet if I take my hand away?" 

I shook my head the best that I could, and he let out an amused sigh, reaching across me with only one hand and grabbing the two remotes. Wait, what's the other remote for? 

At the same time electricity flowed through me, whatever was in my ass started vibrating. Fuck. 

I thrashed my hips, moans muffled by his hand, and he smirked down at me. "Guess you like bottoming more than you th-thought you would, huh?" 

That fucker. He's not going to win. Even though my brain was starting to go fuzzy, as his hand moved away, I choked out, "I'm n-not a- ah, fuck- a b-b-bottom." 

Another shock, this one more intense than the last. My body went haywire, Ethan releasing the vibrating dildo and holding down my hips with one hand instead. "Yes you are." 

"N-no," I stuttered, gasping as the vibrations intensified. "Fuck, Eth-" 

As he dragged the pad of his thumb against my slit, I completely lost it, cum spurting from my dick and probably staining his shirt. He kept going through the aftershocks, jerking me off more intently and thankfully turning the vibrations down. "Ethan, Ethan, Eth," I chanted as another orgasm racked through my body. "Fffffuck..." 

He finally let me rest, pulling the dildo out of my ass and letting my softening cock flop against my thighs. Moments later, he took a warm cloth to my legs before finally flopping down next to me. 

"Yeah, you're a bottom, babe," he said playfully, nudging my arm. 

Still breathing heavily, I shot back, "No, I'm not." 

Electricity pricked against my neck, my spent dick twitching. "Fuck off." 

He merely laughed, finally unbuckling the shock collar and gently returning it to its place in the drawer. "You're a bottom." 

"...Maybe a little bit."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of alcohol, mentions of self-harm, mentions of unhealthy coping mechanisms.  
> Catch me getting drunk off my shit, having to rewrite half of this, and then getting endorphin-high. Can you tell? I definitely can. Relapsing is fun, I don't recommend it. Don't follow in my footsteps, please seek healthier coping mechanisms. This took a while to get out and was also late. I apologize. Hopefully the next one will be coming later today, but you know how I am about that. A liar. Anyway, hope you enjoyed!


	23. i was gone again and now i'm gone for good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry.

I'm sorry I've been gone. And I'm sorry for what I'm gonna say.

I don't think I can do the requests anymore.

Even the ones I've queued up.

I just can't.

I've been in a really bad place since the crash. I may have gotten out of my depressive episode, but everything else is just bad. I can't go anywhere in cars anymore without having anxiety so bad I can't even think, the only thing running through my mind "You're going to crash and it's your fault."

I know a car crash is a wimpy thing to be so tore up over, but I don't even care anymore.

Depression leads to suicidal thoughts and even tendencies. Not eating, going back into bad habits, not showering or generally taking care of my wellbeing, not completing schoolwork, some days not even getting out of bed. At all. At that point, I couldn't have even told you the last time I'd drank water. The last time I'd talked to someone other than my family. The last time I'd gotten a full night of sleep.

I told myself I'd take a break for a week. No writing, not even browsing AO3. I'd barely work on schoolwork. I'd basically distance myself from the Internet and all stressful situations (including talking to my family) for a week or so.

It worked wonders.

Even though it helped me a lot, I still feel bad for it. I made a commitment and I want to stick to it. But I made a commitment to myself when my friend caught me self harming and broke down in my arms that I'd try to get better. For their sake. For my boyfriend's sake. For my cat's sake. Maybe, someday, for my own sake.

I don't react well to stress, and this is honestly stressing me out.

Requests are closed permanently. I'm definitely taking a writing break for a while.

I'm sorry. But I owe it to the people that I love to try.

TL;DR: I sank down very low and I can't do requests anymore; sorry.

Take care of yourselves.  
-R


End file.
